


I See Red

by JuniRiceBall



Category: Gintama
Genre: 3z, Canon-Typical Violence, Class 3-Z Ginpachi-sensei, F/M, other hinted pairings but not really that serious lol, shonen manga tropes, shoujo manga tropes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-02-07 13:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 62,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12842577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuniRiceBall/pseuds/JuniRiceBall
Summary: 3Z Universe. As punishment for fighting, Okita is forced to tutor Kagura, the transfer student. As they get closer, they are both forced to face the unpleasant things they did in the past. Rated T for language.





	1. Red Panties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They fight and break stuff and get detention

Chapter 1: Red Panties

Okita Sougo could pin the blame on one specific person apart from the girl herself, and that would be Tokugawa Soyo, the top student and one of the class reps of class 3Z. She was the one who promised to show the weird transfer student around and to give her the tours and all that tedious nonsense that class reps classically enjoy doing. But suddenly there she was, bringing the transfer student to his table and asking him to take over.

"Why should I? I'm not interested in showing that thing around school." Was it even a girl? The student-in-question had lazy eyes hiding behind swirly eyeglasses, much like their homeroom teacher, and was lazily picking her nose as she was being introduced.

The girl didn't flinch upon his statement. She had those weird things on her head, those buns with golden embroidery, and briefly Okita wondered if she could understand Japanese or not.

Soyo, not even fazed about what the girl is doing, gave Okita her best smile. "It's my mistake, I know. I have too many responsibilities with the student council since we have the school festival coming up after exam week. We had a number of unexpected problems and it will take up most of my free time to fix them, so…"

"Ask someone else to do it. The Disciplinary Committee is also occupying my free time." Okita already turned away and opened up the latest Shonen Jump, not bothering to finish their conversation. Then came the first time he heard her voice.

"Soyo-chan, it's fine, yes? I don't need a guy like that showing me around. Who knows, instead of showing me around the school, he might just lead me to the bushes outside where he buries his bones or where he takes a dump or something."

"So, the pig can speak Japanese." He smirked. "Tokugawa-san, you heard it from her. She can go get lost and find a separate magic kingdom or something."

The girl's foot came flying towards his face. Sougo blocked it with his forearm, and he felt something in him spark, riding in that magic that he felt moments before.

Before he knew it, he was aiming for one of those damn buns with the embroidery—what the hell were they called anyway?—and it was much harder than he thought, because that girl kept dodging and dodging and her feet and arms and head were all aiming for him to bring him down. She had _just_ missed each time she had tried to hit him, and he also found himself hitting the air each time he aimed for her.

That was until he hit something solid. The victorious smirk he would have smirked was cut short when he realized he hit something clad in white, and much more solid and old-smelling than what he was expecting.

"Souichirou. Kagura. If you guys want to kill each other you're in the wrong high school. You aren't in the Battle Royale universe. Idiots."

"It's Sougo," mumbled Okita as Ginpachi-sensei's fist lightly tapped him on the head. He saw that he did the same thing to the new girl.

"Gin-chan, he started it! He was rude and he was going to dig a hole and take a dump in front of me, a proper lady. Yes he did."

"Sensei, she was acting like a real yankee just now. As a member of the disciplinary committee, I was only enforcing the law."

Ginpachi-sensei bonked them both over the head again, this time a little harder, and both of them rubbed their heads in pain.

"Play nice, you two. Detention for fighting in the classroom and destroying school property."

True enough, the teacher's desk, a ceiling fan, and at least five desks were destroyed in their scuffle. He could see a number of their classmates cowering in the corners furthest from them. Kondou, the head of the disciplinary committee, must have tried to stop the fight at one point, but he was passed out under a desk. Hijikata was helping him up and glaring at him from afar.

The teacher rubbed the back of his head and mumbled something about teenagers and their raging hormones. Softly, he turned to the girl and muttered, only loudly enough for Okita to hear, "Kagura, it's your first day here. Take it easy, won't you? Gintama High isn't anything like where you came from."

The monster girl puffed her cheeks and crossed her arms. "S-sorry, Gin-chan. I'll try."

Ginpachi then turned to Okita. He had eyes of a dead fish, and Okita felt like putting on the stern look he was giving him at that moment was too much of a strain for his facial muscles. "And you, Soda-kun. I expected more from you. You have to treat the new students kindly. Usually transfer students who come in the middle of the semester end up being one of the main characters in a manga."

"It's Sougo." He said this knowing full well that it will go over the silver man's head, and true enough, he was muttering for the girl and Yagami Souichirou-kun to fix their mess and to go straight to detention after class.

In a class like 3Z, destroyed desks were nothing new. It was mostly from Shimura Tae's angry rampages with every creepy attempt that Kondo did to woo her. One time it was when that crazy guy with long hair called Katsura—who wanted to dissolve the Disciplinary Committee for being "dogs of the corrupt school system"—put cherry bombs in their desks.

Any ordinary school would have expelled them for all their attempts, but Ginpachi-sensei always found a way for them to stick together, because god as his witness, all of the slobs in his class will graduate if it's the last thing he did. To be fair, that guy's hair must have turned so white from taking care of wayward students for all these years.

 

 

Classes ended by that time, and as part of their punishment, Ginpachi let everyone else go home, even those who were originally on cleaning duty, leaving the two of them alone. Tokugawa, who is at fault for everything that happened, gave both of them a sweet smile before leaving. Okita saw an evil gleam from her eyes, for some reason…

The new girl wasn't as fiery as she was moments ago—the result of the telling-off she and him got from Ginpachi. Sullenly, she arranged the tables and chairs at the far corner of the room as Okita took care of the blackboard.

The room was eerily quiet, only filled by the sound of the baseball varsity team practicing outside, and it bothered him. Usually he could keep his mouth shut, but for some reason, he couldn't, around her. He blamed that weird spark that he felt earlier, and even though she quieted down and was seemingly trying her best to avoid him, that weird, pissed-off feeling he had for her wouldn't go away.

"What's with you and the homeroom teacher?" he said in the most monotone voice he could muster.

The girl kept her mouth shut, not even looking in his direction. She quietly continued to rearrange the tables.

He knew that with his next words, he was asking for it, but he couldn't stop himself. "Gin-chan, huh? Calling sensei so familiarly. Are you guys shacking up or something?"

In the blink of an eye, one of the desks from the far end of the classroom flew to his head. He caught it with some difficulty, but he was at least able to avoid further damage to the room.

Her face was as red as her strange-coloured hair. "What is your deal anyway, Yagami Sofa!? I've only ever heard you say mean retarded things to me, idiot!"

He rolled his eyes. He decided to ignore the misnomer—it was getting tiring to correct these idiots. "You misunderstand me, China-girl. I only want to learn more about you, since you're the newbie and all from another planet. Isn't it normal to be curious about our dear transfer students?"

"And who says you could call me China-girl, you—you Chihuahua from Planet S? Do you want to see red?"

She misused the term, he realized, but didn't feel the need to correct her. "You didn't answer my question. So, how long have you been sleeping with the teach—"

Her foot was in his face again. He caught her leg in between his two hands, and he gave her a smirk. "I see red, alright. Although, your panties are closer to fuchsia than red—"

She growled like an animal and kicked through his grip. Automatically his hands moved to get those god-forsaken buns off her stupid red hair again, his body unconsciously moving in-sync with hers, parrying every blow, throwing hits that don't quite make it to their targets. The background noise disappeared, and it was only him and that China girl and the blood pumping through his veins and rushing to her rapidly reddening face in that small space in the universe.

Somewhere along the way, he was pinned down, and she was pulling on his hair and yelling something in Chinese to his face, her blushing cheeks _so damn close to his_ , and then something hovered behind her and her stupid red face was getting farther and farther, and-

"Oi, you punks! Stop it this instant!" An angry voice came from somewhere. The smell of tobacco filled his nostrils, and the small universe broke.

Tsukuyo-sensei lifted the younger girl by her collar. For her small frame, she was deceptively strong. She had an unlit cigarette in between her teeth, and it was clear that she was on her way to her cigarette break when she heard their fight.

"Seriously, you two are terrible at cleaning a room. Kagura-san, what were doing to Okita-kun? Is that how you treated others in your previous school?"

Kagura pouted. "Sensei, he started it—"

"It doesn't matter who started it." She sighed. "I… understand your situation, Kagura-san. I know it's difficult to adjust, but… you can't let your father down. And don't think that we'll let you off easily just because he's a teacher here."

Okita blinked twice at this new information. He tried to recall the morning, when China-girl introduced herself. He wasn't paying attention, but he didn't recall her saying her last name, or anyone pressing her about it for that matter.

"… I understand, sensei," she said. Her swirly eyeglasses hid her eyes.

Tsukuyo-sensei sighed again and crossed her arms over her bosom. She then turned to Okita, the cigarette clenched firmly between her teeth. "You should know better as well, Okita-kun. You know you can't afford any more trouble for yourself."

Okita nodded. "Yes, sensei." He put his hands in his pockets.

"Now—I don't want to add any more detention time for you two. I will speak to Sakata-sensei about you two." Without another word, she dragged them by their collars to detention, where they sat in sullen, angry silence for the rest of the afternoon.

 

 

 

 

It was almost predictable what happened the next day—this whole situation is playing out to be a third rate shoujo manga plot. Okita felt an annoyed vein bulge out of his forehead as he listened to China-girl whine incessantly to what Ginpachi-sensei ordered them to do.

"Gin-chan, you can't be serious! I can't stick around this lunatic, no siree! He's so stupid I feel my intelligence quotation dropping by the second the longer I'm around him!"

"It's _quotient_ , stupid. And if that's true, it must be in the negative thousands by now," he muttered, earning him a glare.

"See what I mean? Please, Gin-chan. I can go on cleaning duty or write _I won't act like a violent shonen manga heroine_ on the black board five hundred times..."

Ginpachi-sensei didn't even look at her, only continued to suck that ridiculous lollipop with the smoking end. "Not my decision, kiddo. I had to speak with the principal after Tsukuyo-sensei caught you aggressively making out in the classroom after destroying what's left of the desks—"

"We were _NOT_ making out—" the China girl shrieked, and Okita put his palm to his face, thanking the fact that they were arguing in Sakata's cubicle, where no other student would have been at that time.

"—and Principal Hata told me to do whatever is necessary to make you two blockheads get along. So, until you guys can prove that you won't destroy this school every time you run into each other, you have to get used to each other." He took out the rainbow-coloured candy from his mouth and pointed it at Kagura. "Besides Kagura, I've seen your lousy excuse of a transcript from your previous school. I prefer that one of the top three students make sure that you adjust well in our curriculum… and Soba-kun is the least busy of them."

Okita sighed. "Sensei, I have duties in the Disciplinary Committee too… this kind of arrangement would get in the way, to be sure."

The arrangement, of course, was basically what Tokugawa wanted to happen in the first place, which means that Okita would be showing Kagura the ropes, giving the tours, making sure she adjusts, and making sure she does decently in class, even going so far as him being her personal tutor, especially in Japanese classes.

"Ah. About that, So-la-ti-do-kun. You're temporarily suspended from the disciplinary committee until Kagura can make it on her own."

Okita clenched his teeth and opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off. "Be glad that you aren't suspended from school. That goes for the both of you actually."

The two of them shut their mouths.

The silver-haired teacher nodded. "Okay. So you two promise me, all right? Get along. You don't have to be friends if you don't want to, just don't kill each other on sight. And for the love of god, be nice." He glared at Okita when he said the last sentence.

"Got it," they both mumbled, and they were dismissed after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally a one-shot but it isn't a one-shot anymore orz (as of writing it's 100 pages on word orz)  
> This was posted first on FF.net. Minor edits (style, grammar) done.


	2. Red Cut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They play nice~

Chapter 2: Red Cut

* * *

"So, basically, since you and that girl wrecked the classroom on her first day, you're babysitting her until further notice."

Okita said nothing. Hijikata and Kondo were waiting for him outside of the faculty lounge, and upon being told personally by Sakata-sensei that Okita was suspended from all extracurricular activities, including the Disciplinary Committee, the two older students treated him to a nearby café.

"Can't say that you didn't deserve it, Sougo. You should know better than to hit a woman. It's much easier for the other students to demonize you."

"That's no woman. That's a gorilla in a sailor uniform. And she hit first. Aren't we supposed to control delinquent behaviours like that?"

"You know, Sougo, with women, you have to handle things as if carrying delicate petals in your hands," began Kondou. "Indeed, that's how I've always approached Otae-san~ Ah, her beauty just makes me want to do this and that to her, but I've always restrained myself until the proper time…!"

As the gorilla commander of the ' _Shinsengumi'_ gushed on and on in his perverted monologue, the demon vice commander tried to ignore this by looking at Okita again. "As much as I hate to agree with Ginpachi-sensei, I think it's good for you to lay low first. Yamazaki tells me that a bunch of girls were already spreading rumours about you and that girl."

"What kind of rumours?"

"That she got kicked out of her previous school for being a delinquent. That she's related to Yakuza. And that she's chosen you as her Yankee prince." His hand twitched. It was clear that he craved a cigarette, but he clenched his fist instead. Okita rolled his eyes.

"You know how it is, Sougo. Anyone can make a rumour out of anything, and the students of this school don't exactly cross-check their facts. So it would be bad for us if these rumours affect the Disciplinary Committee's reputation…" Kondou said this in a low voice with his arms crossed. "And we can't afford that, since we're expecting _him_ to come back to school…"

Okita frowned. "You mean… they're letting that guy back in 3Z?"

Hijikata nodded gravely. "We thought he was expelled for good. Seems like Sakata's not giving up on him. We know that for the past year he spent out of school, he's been involved in gangs doing petty crimes and shit like that. But he's coming back to repeat his 3rd year of high school, and he's bringing his gang with him. I don't know about you guys, but I'm sure that the likes of him won't just go " _hai, sensei"_ and avoid trouble. The school will need us in full force very soon."

"… so, the legendary delinquent, Takasugi Shinsuke, is coming back…" Okita smirked. "Is it just me, or is this school year suddenly rife with Yankees?"

"Like we've been saying, if you're not careful, people are gonna think you're one of them. So make sure you and China-girl stop acting out." The Mayora clicked his tongue. "You said that Sakata will let you back with us without further demerits if you help her out, right? I think if they see how well she does in the upcoming long exams, sensei'll let you off the hook."

"I don't know if you've noticed it, Hijikata-san, but she's not the sharpest crayon in the box. I bet her grades are worse than yours."

"Now, now, no need for that kind of comment, Sougo~!" Kondou desperately tried to break the two of them apart when Hijikata suddenly collared Okita. "Anyways, you're pretty smart, and you get good grades without studying too much. Since you'll have a lot of time to teach her, I know she'll do well!"

"Yeah. You just have to keep that rancid mouth of yours shut."

Okita felt an annoying throb forming in between his temples. Seems like he has no choice, really, but to repress his cruel side, set his haunches down, and teach that China-girl.

And… _be nice._ His usual fake-nice wouldn't cut it, he knew.

He felt a rash crawl up his arm. _My Sadistic cells are already protesting._

"That's that. Let us know if you need our help, Sougo. We'll support you and China-girl as much as we can," said Kondou, giving him a thumbs-up.

"You can start by dying, Hijikata-san. I feel all my niceness draining when I see you eating dog-food."

Hijikata ignored him and continued eating his Hijikata Special Tonkatsu-don.

* * *

And so it continued for the next two weeks. The spark of something, that strange feeling, didn't go away as he had hoped. In fact, it got worse since he had to be around China all the time. The class president, Tokugawa Soyo, was told to keep an eye out for them, so at least in class, they had to sit next to each other and to work on group projects together. On top of that, from the corner of his eye, he saw Hijikata and Kondou-san giving him warning looks every time he felt like raising his hand against the China-girl.

Ginpachi-sensei demanded that they spend lunch break together too. And it was stupid really for the teachers to force them to be nice to each other like this, because how was he supposed to _remain_ nice or even keep a fake façade of nice when she kept running to class late, her face full of rice straight from a rice cooker, when she slept in class so audaciously, when she has trouble reading Japanese script meant for grade-schoolers, when she kept eating hotdogs or tater tots or whatever during their 10 AM history class, and when she spoke in that vulgar, heavily-accented way of hers?

She must have been having a hard time with him as well. She was bright and cheerful and popular with everyone else in class, especially with her new sadistic best friends Soyo and Nobume, and Shimura Tae's group of girl-friends. She even got along with the guys in class, to the point that she got that glasses-wearing human to give her extra food to feed her bottomless-pit-of-a-stomach, and that rebel-wannabe Katsura called her Leader.

Heck, he heard the despaired whispers of a number of deluded third-years from the other classes, who wanted to confess to her, but couldn't because of him. Even though the making-out rumour never made it out of the office, the amount of time they spent together under everyone's eye were enough to spread rumours about them dating. To his disdain, the yankee prince and princess rumours didn't cease at all, and in fact got worse.

But all anyone had to do was to look at her every time she had to take her seat next to him to dispel these rumours. She had a perfect scowl on her face each time, and she refused to look him in the eye. For Ginpachi's sake, she said, she did her best not to be violent when she was around him, and he relished the fact that she was having a hard time. He pushed her buttons each time, wanting to push her to the edge—if she snapped and kicked him in the face again, all he had to do was to take it, and this farce would be over, because she would have drawn first blood and she would be the only one in trouble.

But she never snapped—she was always, _always_ close to it, he could almost hear her clench her fists, ready to throw a punch at him—but she always stopped before she lost control. Instead, she would grit her teeth, look away, and say something inconsequential after. Her comebacks got weaker as time went by, and to his surprise, even though she obviously _hated him with all of her being_ , she tried her best to study with him, and began asking him as many questions as she could about schoolwork. Because the only way that Ginpachi would stop hovering behind them is if Kagura produced a decent report card.

Okita helped her out as expected, but not without peppering his personal lessons with insults. It got old easily when she quit responding, and he had hoped that the uncomfortable spark in his chest would go away, but still, it lingered.

Within the two weeks, the two of them reluctantly and quietly developed a routine, beginning at lunchtime, where they would eat facing each other as if competing with each other (her, with her bento of octopus-shaped hotdogs and eggs and five cups of rice plus additional offerings she wheedled from Glasses, and him with whatever bread and milk he could get from the cafeteria). After classes, if neither of them had cleaning duty, they would go to the library, where Okita would help her with the day's homework until closing time at six.

Then she would pack her things without a word, without once looking him in the eye, and rush off, probably to go to a café or something with her friends.

He would then quietly leave the school by himself, as he always did, avoiding his fan girls and whoever else might get in the way. He would take a train a bit of ways from the school, and he'd go into an Italian restaurant, where he'd put on a white shirt, black pants, and a black apron, and wash dishes and serve tables for a few hours. Then perhaps at around nine he'd go home, completely exhausted, making sure that he was clad in his school uniform with a graphic tee on the inside, before he went in his apartment, to study by himself a couple of more hours before sleeping.

* * *

That evening he was an hour late to get home. A woman in a mask was seated at his table, already quietly staring at him as he took off his shoes.

"Sou-chan… it's late." Her red eyes gleamed in the low light.

"I know, aneue… I'm sorry. It got busy in the restaurant," he said, in that special polite voice that he reserved just for her. As tired as he was, he gave her a big smile, just so that worried look in her eyes would go away.

It didn't. "You know, Sou-chan… maybe it's better if you quit that job and focus on school? Hijikata-san tells me that you're spending most of it with Kagura-chan and you don't have time for extracurriculars anymore…"

He sighed. He took a mental note to put a laxative in Hijikata's coffee milk the next day. "That thing with that pi—I mean, with China girl isn't permanent, Aneue. They'll probably let us off of the arrangement in a couple of weeks after exams and she gets passing grades. After that, I can go back to how things were."

Mitsuba, his beautiful older sister, smiled at him. "I don't think she's bad for you, Sou-chan. You haven't been as focused as you are now when it comes to studying."

He hadn't noticed it for himself, but it was true. He had to study harder than usual to be able to teach China the next day. He knew he wouldn't be able to live it down if she knew material that he didn't.

"It's your part-time job I'm worried about, to be honest… it takes too much of your time, and it would be bad if anyone from school sees you—"

"Aneue, we've been through this," he said. Absently, he took her pale hand in his and held it, unable to ignore how fragile she felt. "I… do my best to support myself and to support you… We need all the money we can get for your medicines-"

"I'm fine, Sougo," she said, cutting him off. The way her voice cracked told him that she was suppressing another cough. "We have enough. The money mom and dad left us will hold up. And I earn a little bit with my work." She embraced him. "I would… hate myself if anything bad happens to you, Sou-chan… so please…"

He embraced her back. He felt the lost weight, and he felt her thorax rattle uncomfortably as the cough she was suppressing escaped from her body, and he knew he hadn't been working hard enough. "I'll be okay, Aneue. I promise I won't get expelled."

She sighed, already feeling too weak to argue. She let go of the embrace and smiled at him. "If you do, you're eating nothing but spicy rice crackers until the day you die. Got that?"

"Got it," he said, giving her a cheerful smile.

He led her to her room and made sure she had taken her evening dose of antibiotics (during her last visit to the doctor, she was diagnosed to have another upper respiratory tract infection apart from the drug-resistant TB) and let her sleep. He made his way to his own room and studied and studied until his head hurt, and as what happened multiple times that week, he fell asleep on his desk, that intangible discomfort lingering in his chest, and the colour red (or… fuchsia?) invading his dreams.

* * *

It was probably another week later, when all the students were on edge since exams were dangerously close.

Okita looked at his wristwatch and counted the minutes that China was late. 15, 20, 25. He drummed his fingers impatiently, earning him a few glares from the other students reading quietly nearby. At the 27th minute, Kagura stomped her way to his table and unceremoniously dumped her things in the seat next to him.

This earned them even more angry glares, but a dark look from Okita was all it took to dispel the glares. "I thought you were gonna take this seriously, China. If you waste my time like this again, I won't bother teaching you anymore." He tilted his head at her, noticing then how she looked. "What happened to you?" he asked in a deadpan voice.

She had her red track suit's jacket over her uniform, and her track pants underneath her skirt. Her buns were in slight disarray, and she was undeniably out of breath when she got to him.

"I ran, obviously. Why do you care?" she grumbled. "Let's hurry up, Sadist. I don't want you to miss your crappy drama reruns."

He frowned at her, but when she showed no interest in answering his questions, he shrugged and helped her with Japanese literature. The red-haired mess was quieter than usual, and even though she struggled visibly, she didn't ask any questions.

"Oi, are you sure you get this? The exams are in a few days. If you flunk this, I'm seriously beating you up."

She scowled at him, that perfect little scowl again, and looked away. "Go ahead. I don't care. I'm going home," she announced, standing up in a huff. As she grabbed all her books and threw them carelessly in her bag, Okita saw a bit of her pale skin under her sleeve.

"Hey." He grabbed her arm and pulled the red sleeve down. A discolouration marred the pale skin of her forearm, and her knuckle had a small, red cut that he hadn't noticed before. "Have you been in another fight? This isn't my handiwork—"

"Let. Go." Her voice was low and dangerous, and she roughly pulled her hand back as soon as he loosened his grip. And without another word, she turned and left him alone in the library.

He frowned as he watched her small, strong figure leave the building.


	3. Red Track Suit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She wears a track suit.

Chapter 3: Red Track Suit

* * *

"Okita-kun! There you are."

His perfect view of the sky was interrupted by two shadows with long, dark hair. He sighed.

"Yup. You caught me. What do two of the Sadistic Sisters want from this humble student?" Perfect moment ruined.

It was five thirty in the afternoon, and the sky was turning into a pleasant shade of vermilion. Instead of being in the library, he was up on the roof-deck, sucking on a lime-flavoured ice candy. Sighing, he got up to face the two sisters in question.

Tokugawa Soyo, the so-called Princess of 3Z and the class president, tilted her head at him. Behind her, a stoic and silent Imai Nobume watched him, as if ready to strike if he were to try anything funny. "I was looking for you and Kagura-chan in the library. Have you guys finished studying for the day already?"

"Apparently so."

Soyo frowned and narrowed her eyes. "That can't be right. I thought Ginpachi-sensei told you to tutor her…"

"Tell that to China. She's the one who stood me up two days in a row."

Much to his annoyance, for those two days that Kagura didn't show up, Okita stayed and waited for her until the library closed.

"You have any idea where she's gone?" asked Soyo.

"Don't know. Don't care, TBH."

Soyo sighed and looked at Nobume. "What do we do, Nobume-san?"

"Simple. We torture him until we get information." Nobume had her shinai out all of a sudden, and she aimed for Okita's leg. Thankfully, he had lightning speed and he was able to jump out of its way.

He smirked at the silent girl and said in a deadpan voice, "See—now this sends worry into my innocent heart. If her two best friends don't know where she's gone, where could she be…?Could she be involved in something shady…? Something that can get her expelled, dare I say?"

Soyo shook her head vehemently. "It's nothing like that, Okita-kun. Nobume-san, stand down."

Imai Nobume lowered her shinai. In the next moment, she was already munching on a pon-de-ring, and the class president looked at Okita again, her eyes shining with worry. "It's not that we think she's causing trouble or anything… it's just that she's been, er… elusive the past couple of days…"

Soyo laid it all out for him: China has been coming to classes every day as Okita knew, and had been present for most parts of lunch breaks. However, Soyo and Nobume had also noticed that she wasn't coming to the library for the past couple of days; she'd just send them a hasty email that she was needed at home and would send noncommittal messages through chat until the evening.

She had looked tired the past two days, but she only told them that she'd been drinking double shots of espresso mixed with Red Boor and Yakulk so that she won't fall asleep studying for exams at home.

"… so why tell me this? Whatever she does outside of schoolwork doesn't concern me in any way, princess," said Okita, as he sucked the last, sticky bit of melted ice from its plastic wrapper.

"'Cause Ginpachi-sensei told you to keep an eye out for her," replied Soyo, with that innocent, double-bladed smile of hers. "And… to be honest, we don't know her very well. It's been only over two weeks since we've met. I was wondering if she'd… opened up to you, somehow, about…" She suddenly trailed off and looked down.

"About her past, you mean?" The rumours about her being a yankee and/or Yakuza princess have not died down the past few weeks, despite her better behaviour. Okita wondered whether Soyo or Nobume had also seen the bruises and cuts on China's arms. If anyone else were to see them, it would only worsen the rumours…

It was clear to him, then, that Soyo came to him, worried not only about China, but whether those rumours have any bearing. Okita sighed.

"She doesn't tell me anything, and I don't ask. I know how to mind my business," he said. "Anyway, it's China-girl. For all we know she's probably ditched you guys to watch K-dramas at home. It might be nothing to worry about."

"… I see." Soyo snapped out of her sullen mood and gave him one of her regal smiles again. "If you say so, Okita-kun. If I were you though, I'd pay closer attention to her~ If anything happened to her, you'd answer to her dad…"

"Her dad? Oi, who _is_ her dad, anyway? Is it that balding old man who teaches gym?"

Soyo and Nobume began walking away, but not before flashing him peace signs as they left him alone on the rooftop.

He clenched his teeth and frowned. The sky was turning into a deeper shade of red, and all he could think of is how hard he'd smack the China girl's red head after all this was over.

* * *

It had nothing to do with the meaningful glances that Soyo threw him the next day, nor the stone cold glares that Nobume gave him when China wasn't looking. However, he brought it upon himself to expose China's secret before the day is over.

He sent texts to the Mayora and Gorilla as early as recess to keep an eye out for China secretly, citing his meeting with the princess and her bodyguard the afternoon before. Indirectly, he told them that the class president requested the disciplinary committee's intervention.

Hijikata had nodded to him discreetly in understanding, and Kondou-san might have received the message too, but it was difficult to tell at first since he bothered (and got beaten up by) Otae-san as usual.

Kagura had her track suit over her sailor uniform again as early as homeroom, and Ginpachi-sensei didn't seem to mind. During lunch break, she and Okita ate tensely facing each other as usual. Shinpachi came over and gave them dumplings. Kagura ate about half her portion, and said that she'd keep the rest of them for her snack during their 3 PM Japanese Literature class.

 _She's eating less than usual. You're right, Sougo. Something's up,_ texted Hijikata in their group chat, who was munching on yakisoba bread completely covered in mayonnaise from the other corner of the room.

_Told ya. Also: Die, Hijikata-san._

She then announced that she needed to take a dump, earning her a few minutes of nagging from Glasses on how she spoke in an unlady-like manner. Later, Kondou-san sent a message through the group chat.

_It's OK, Sougo~ she really went in the girls' room. Most likely taking a dump. (poop emoji) She must have eaten some of Otae-san's tamagoyaki too (100 emoji)_

_Kondou-san. Please stop peeping in the women's bathroom. (cringing emoji)_

_Toushi~! How could you accuse me of such a dirty deed? (weeping emoji). For your information, I'm not here to peep on anyone but Otae-san!(heart emoji) (heart emoji) (heart emoji) (panting emoji)._

Okita sighed and erased those incriminating portions of the group chat. Soon enough, a loud scream—Kondou's, from the gorilla-esque sound of it—rang from the direction of the toilets, followed by a terrible crashing sound.

From his corner of the room, Toushi's entire body flinched, and he hung his head in shame.

Within that chaos, the three of them lost sight China. Kondou texted them in a panic, saying that there's nobody in the bathroom anymore and nothing smells like poop. Okita, trying to appear nonchalant, walked around the third floor, the school yard, and the gym, but the red-head wasn't there.

As the bell rang and signalled their next class, Okita came running back to room 3-Z. China was jogging behind him as well, red-faced and panting.

"The hell have you been, China?"

"Told ya, I took a dump, yup. I must have eaten some of Anego's tamagoyaki by accident," she mumbled, pushing him aside and ambling to her seat.

"All right ya slobs, take your damn seats and pay attention," slurred Ginpachi-sensei, and Okita followed. He tried to ignore Soyo's worried glances, and instead attempted (and failed) to focus on Ginpachi's long drawl about the legend of Kintaro.

* * *

Later that day, he finally caught her.

He didn't go to the library—he knew that she wouldn't show up again, anyway. After classes, Hijikata said that she was at her shoe locker one moment, then gone the next. She probably knew that somebody was tailing her, or that she was doing her best not to get caught in whatever it was she was doing.

How difficult was it to look for someone with red hair in this school, anyway? Okita stopped and collected his thoughts. She was trying to hide her bruises—could the rumours be true that she was a yankee? If so, she might be in some stupid fight somewhere, and if it was that type of fight, it had to be outside of the school. Maybe a dump or an alleyway somewhere.

"… Dragon's Vein. Heck, why not," he mumbled, cursing to himself. He ran towards the direction of the middle school, sending a rushed message to their group chat as he did.

Sure enough, he found her in that narrow alleyway, stony-faced and resolute, her back against a wall decorated with a poorly drawn dragon via spray-paint.

They were a bunch of no-name girls, pretty and forgettable faces, probably from the lower years. Okita recognized some of them as part of the more popular crowd who confessed to him last year and whom he subsequently rejected. Probably. He couldn't really remember.

When he ran into them, they were saying a bunch of clichéd stuff like "who do you think you are" "stop throwing yourself at him" "you are such a whore, you should crawl back to whatever hole you came from and never come back" and "you're a piece of trash polluting Sougo-kun's floor, you should be ashamed of yourself".

China, clad in her track suit, had her eyes fixed on their faces, never moving, not saying anything else but "let's just get this over with, you uncreative pigs, yup" and that did nothing but to rile them up more. They punched and kicked and pushed her, taking care to avoid her face because "that Sakata pervert won't catch us as long as her face doesn't show it". It's obvious that they were hoping that she would fall, but she was strong enough to take all the hits.

The blows came down harder and harder, and the fire-headed girl was starting to flinch. But all she said was a deadpan, "Are you done yet?" And the anger in the girls' face just grew and grew.

"Oh… we're just beginning to get started, Yankee Princess. You know, I know a big guy you might like—he's been itching to get his hands on ya. How about it? Want him to pop your cherry?... Of course, he might not ask you as nicely as we are…"

"Eat shit."

"You will, soon enough." One of them had lit a cigarette, and he saw her in slow motion grabbing Kagura's arm, lowering the lit part of the cigarette to her perfect, pale skin, and next thing he knew, he was seeing red, and he was in front of them, and the cigarette landed on the ground instead.

"Oi. What do you think you sluts are doing?" He heard himself say in a dark, dangerous tone that he'd never used in public before, and the girls' eyes were as wide as saucers as they looked up at him.

He couldn't see China's face, but he felt her freeze behind him. The no-name girls stammered stupidly at him, saying things like they couldn't stand that a slob like her was inconveniencing him so, and that he deserved better, and that she was rude to them so they were just teaching her a lesson, etc.

"A-anyway, Okita-sempai... you know Urara-chan is just looking out for you, don't you~?" The leader of the pack, a girl with dyed orange hair tied into two pigtails, told him sweetly.

"Scram," was all he said.

"But, Okita-sem—"

"I said SCRAM." He felt that his red eyes were glowing with the raw anger rising in his chest, and the girls ran away quietly. Urara, or whatever her name was, gave Kagura one last scathing look, muttered "We aren't done yet," and ran away with tears at the corners of her eyes.

He took his phone and dialled Hijikata's number. "… yep. I found her. A bunch of girls took her at Dragon's Vein. She's safe. Try to catch them," he said before hanging up.

He turned around and saw China dusting herself off, stretching her arms, as if she had merely come from a workout. "For how long have they been bothering you?"

"Maybe a week now. They waited for me outside the library… first time they brought me out here, though," she told him with a neutral voice. She picked up her book bag and began walking to the direction of the school.

The anger in his chest and the red in his vision didn't disappear. He grabbed her shoulder, clamped it so that she wouldn't walk away. "I heard everything they said, China. Why the fuck didn't you tell me anything?"

"And why would I do something stupid like that?" she replied, unfazed. "They're a bunch of idiots who like an idiot like you. It's not even worth mentioning."

"Even so—you didn't think to tell Kondou-san or Hijikata-san or anyone else from the disciplinary committee? Or the teachers? We take bullying in this school seriously."

She smirked. "I wouldn't know it from how you treated me before, Sadist."

"Don't pretend to be so strong, China. I know you could beat them to a pulp even if you were outnumbered so you didn't fight back. But to allow yourself to be their punching bag for two weeks?"

"Bitches will be bitches. Not worth it."

"What if they brought a knife? You would have let them cut you?"

"They're a bunch of weaklings who barely know how to fight… like I said, Sadist, I can handle myself. I don't know why you even bothered to—"

He felt that he had enough. In one fluid motion, he forced her to face him, and before she could resist, he took off the track suit jacket, which was thankfully loose, and it peeled off her shoulders and hung off her arms almost effortlessly. Her exposed arms were full of bruises, some of them already yellowing, some of them dark and red, all of them polluting her pale skin. She looked away from him defiantly.

"It's nothing… I had it worse before, yup," she mumbled.

"Before?"

"…"

"What the hell happened in your old school, China?" he asked quietly.

"… please, just leave it alone." After a while she looked down on the ground with a strange aura of shame. Obviously, she'd said too much already, even though Okita had nothing but more questions in his head. "You can't tell this to Soyo-chan or Nobume-chan or Anego or anybody else, okay? Although… if you or the Gorilla or the Mayora say anything, they might hit my friends next," she added weakly, almost pleadingly. He let her put her track jacket on.

"It'll be Kondou-san's responsibility to report it to Matsudaira-sensei, and maybe the Principal too. But the disciplinary committee will need your cooperation if they raise it to the authorities."

"Ah. Then… can you tell the Gorilla…"

"You know, if you're worried about your friends, don't be. Nobume's the star of the Kendo club and she's acting like the Princess's bodyguard, like, all the time. And you don't need me to explain how Onee-san, Kyuubei, and Sa-chan can defend themselves. Those bitches are crazy."

"Don't call them bitches, you asshole." Kagura kept looking down on the ground. "I was… going to take care of it myself, okay? I didn't need your help, nope."

He sighed, staring at her unmarred face. She had that scowl again, and that spark inside wouldn't stop bothering him. Without thinking, he stepped closer to her, tipped her face upward to make her face him, and stared even longer.

Her skin was so… pale. It was odd. If anybody hurt her, her skin would show it, and he would immediately know…

She obviously found this disconcerting, and a blush crept up to her cheeks. "What is it, Sadist? Don't be such a pervert—"

He gave her an evil smile, and then took off her glasses. When she protested, he held them high above her head, out of her reach. "They're cracked, you idiot. I thought you didn't want anyone finding out that a bunch of weak sluts were beating you up on a daily basis."

She cursed as she tried to jump up to reach her eyewear. "You don't just take glasses from the visually impaired without their permission, you dumb-ass."

"Hm. Interesting—I didn't know the visually impaired have such… clear, hipster fake glasses," he said as he put the glasses on himself. She took this opportunity to grab them off his face, and he smirked at her when her frown deepened. "Look—I ain't going to ask anymore since you obviously don't want to tell me anything about you, but I can't let any other idiot beat you up while Ginpachi has us in this arrangement. You can get beaten up to a pulp for all I care, since you seem to be such an M, but do it after exams, okay?... actually, you could be _my_ M. I'd prefer it if nobody else beat you up but me."

"As if. You are such a fucking jerk," she said, but in an undeniably softer voice. She must have been getting tired. She sighed, bit her lip in thought, as if wanting to tell him something, but she apparently changed her mind. "We barely have time to study in the library, Sadist."

Okita looked at his wristwatch. She was correct, of course. It was already getting dark, and the library would be closing in 10 minutes.

He sighed. "We have a lot of material to cover, China. And you're still having a hard time with the literature coverage. And math. And English—actually, all of it, since you seem to be dumber than a bag of hammers—"

"So let's study at your house," she said.

He looked at her, who still had that defiant look on her face. "What? Right now?"

"Yup. You said so yourself. We barely have enough time. If it's your house, we can study as long as we need to, since it's a Friday and we don't have school tomorrow. I can ask permission from my dad that I'm staying at your house tonight."

"Why my house?"

"I'm not bringing you to _my_ house… G-Dad wouldn't like it."

He frowned. "Would your dad be okay with you staying the night at a guy's place?" Her dad, the mystery teacher that she had not told him about yet? _And besides, he has work that night—_

"Yup, he knows about you. If you do anything funny to me, he'll rip off your balls and serve them to you over rice for breakfast." She already had her phone out and was sending an SMS to the dad.

"Ugh. All right, give me a second," he mumbled. He would have to ask the Mayora or Kondo-san to cover for him at work, on top of everything else. He sent them his SOS, not explaining why he needed the cover, and cursing the strange turn of events, he led China to the road home.


	4. Red Streak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They help out Mitsuba and study for exams.

She was a difficult woman, but at least she wasn't the angry foreign chick or the sullen, emo girl that Okita had the displeasure of seeing for the past couple of weeks.

On the way home, she had insisted that they stop by the grocery store for their snacks. He was pleasantly surprised at the happy glow in her eyes as she piled up their cart with chips, cookies, chocolate, and sukonbu. Especially the sukonbu, which she reverently stacked in the neatest corner of the cart. Along the way, Okita bought food for dinner, and he decided on extra spicy curry.

He carried most of the groceries home, and to his annoyance Kagura even stopped to buy Korean ice cream in a different store. As she victoriously licked her melon-flavored popsicle, he dragged her by the crook of her arm on the way home before she bought more food beyond than what he could buy.

He ignored the Mayora's angry and curious phone calls. He would later open up a number of nagging texts as to why he disappeared with China all of a sudden and that in the end, they weren't able to catch any of the girls in question. Also, that the Gorilla covered for him at work.

Okita knew that the bullying she endured recently was just scratching the surface, but the dismissive way she was acting told him that her opening up will be like opening a screwed-up Pandora's box involving her dark past. If transfer students were main characters in this manga, what genre were they in? Is it really a damn shoujo manga?

Nobody was home in the apartment when they got there. Mitsuba must still be out in her secretarial job. He ordered her to sit down, start reading a chapter from their literature textbook, and to not touch anything else while he prepared dinner.

He made three portions of chicken curry, rice, and shredded cabbage, and brought two of them to the table. China was already picking her nose and watching TV and making herself perfectly at home, and she gave the tray of food a huge smile before announcing "Itadakimasu" and practically _inhaling_ the food in front of her, even though she ate snacks barely an hour ago. She said it was good, but it was much too spicy, and her cheeks turned into the nice shade of red that happened when she was angry or embarrassed.

A weird, not-unpleasant feeling spread over Okita's chest as he saw her on his dinner table, eating his food, and he blamed the extra spice. _Weird._

However, that was how his aneue liked curry, and her katsudon, and her ramen, and her crackers, and her parfaits—basically anything that passes through her throat has to be a million Scoville units or more.

"I didn't know you had a sister," said the pink-faced, vermilion-haired, red track-suit-clad girl. Everything about her was in shades of red, except for her striking blue eyes, which were now uncovered by her fake glasses.

"You'll probably see her later. She should be back from—"

As if on cue, the clanging sound of keys clumsily making their way to the key-hole and the muffled sound of her coughs through the doorway interrupted him mid-way. Okita rushed to the door and upon turning the knob, Mitsuba crashed through the door and would have also fallen onto the floor, had it not been for her younger brother catching her in his arms.

"Aneue!" She coughed so violently that he worried her lung might come out. He held her close and tapped her back firmly in certain areas just as her doctor taught him. Is she getting worse? Had she contracted pneumonia again? He tried not to panic, tried not to think about the expensive antibiotics that she had not even finished taking yet.

To his surprise, he heard the pull of tissues coming from behind him. "Here," came Kagura's voice.

Mitsuba gratefully accepted the tissues from her and coughed into them. It took a minute or so for her to catch her breath again and for her to focus on the new girl. "Oh—Sou-chan. You didn't tell me we had guests," she said in between rapid breaths.

"I forgot to text you, Aneue. I'm sorry," he said. He saw Kagura's blue eyes widen in surprise at the new polite speech pattern he adapted. "Come on, let's get you to your futon…"

"Sadi—er. Sou-kun. Let me help." Kagura already positioned herself under Mitsuba's arm before anyone could say anything. Through Mitsuba's weak protests, they lifted her by the shoulders and led her to her room. As soon as she was on her futon, Okita took her temperature, her blood pressure, and her heart rate. Thankfully, all of them were normal, except her heart rate, which was a little faster than normal. He asked Kagura to get a basin of tepid water and a towel from the kitchen as he set up the nebulizer.

As the machine hummed and Mitsuba inhaled her medicine, her breathing slowed down, and Okita sighed in relief.

Kagura placed a damp towel on her head. The older Okita smiled at her serenely. "I'm… Mitsuba, by the way. Sougo's older sister. I'm very embarrassed that you saw me like this."

It was then that both of them realized that they have not been introduced yet. "She's… Kagura. Classmate of mine. Ginpachi-sensei's class."

"P-pleased to meet you. I'm a transfer student from Taipei, yup. Sad—er, Sou-kun is helping me out with homework," stammered Kagura, already blushing. She was obviously disoriented, probably from seeing a version of Okita that was closer to a Bodhisattva than a Sadist.

"Kagura-chan. You're very kind to help me, even if we've only just met. Thank you so much." Mitsuba gave one of her smiles again, and looked at Okita. "I feel better already, Sou-chan. It's okay if you guys need to leave to study—"

"Aneue, let me call the doctor. We might need to bring you to the hospital." He already had his phone out, ready to dial.

"No," said Mitsuba. She held his hand, making him stop the call. "I don't have a fever, right? And I've got a few more days of the antibiotics left." She smiled and sat up straight. "I don't feel like coughing anymore either, thanks to you. It's just asthma… I forgot to puff today."

"Aneue…" He looked at her face. As frail as she looked, she had a strong, resolute expression. He knew how stubborn she was, and of her fear of never coming home from the hospital if she were ever admitted.

"… fine. I'll send him a text though."

She let his hand go and sighed in relief.

"And you aren't going to work tomorrow."

She nodded.

"You'll rest for the entire day and drink all your medications."

"Yes, Sou-chan. Don't worry about me," she giggled. She looked like she wanted to say something else, but became aware again of Kagura's presence. "Thank you again for the help, Kagura-chan. And for taking care of Sou-chan."

"It's the other way around—" began Okita, but the girl was already holding her hand, her eyes sparkling. "You're welcome, onee-sama. I'll make sure to whip him to shape."

"Idiot," he said, smacking her on the head, and Mitsuba giggled again.

"All right you two, get along… I just need to rest…" She slid under the covers and closed her eyes. Kagura bowed and got up to leave. Okita stayed there until he heard her breath slow down, until the rise and fall of her chest became rhythmic. He tucked her in a bit more snugly before leaving.

Outside, Kagura had a mess of tissues in her hands. With a worried look on her face, she showed it to him. "Sadist, this is…"

He frowned. A gooey mess of greenish matter with a fresh, red streak of blood stained the pure white paper.

"Don't you think she has to go the hospital?" she asked as he took the tissues from her. He threw them in the bin under the sink and washed his hands after.

"It's fine… it was worse before. She'd cough up about half a glass of blood. I think this one is from a throat infection than from her lung problem," he said. His voice felt detached from him—he knew he barely believed his own words. But the last time he forced Aneue to the hospital…

"… okay… you know her better." She quietly walked next to him and washed her hands, shoving him slightly with her body as she did. "I like her. She's too nice to be your sister, so you better take care of her, Sadist."

"Don't you think I know that? She's the best. I'll do everything I can to protect her."

He was suddenly aware of their height difference. He wasn't the tallest in class, to be sure, but China was _small._ Her cheek grazed his shoulder as she rubbed her hands under the running water.

"Good." She balled a paper towel in between her hands and threw it under the sink. Avoiding his eyes, she muttered, "If you want… I could go right now… she probably needs you more than me, yup."

He sighed. "It's okay. She's asleep. I left her door open, so I can keep an eye on her even if we're studying." _And if you're here, it'll keep me from going into full panic-mode,_ a small part of his brain whispered.

"Hm. If you're sure. And I guess I can help again if she needs it." She nodded. Quietly, they made their way to the living room, took out their notebooks, and began doing practice exams.

* * *

" _Health me! The quickly car is going so fastly,_ yup _."_

"Fine job of butchering the English language, China. Among other problems, I'm not sure if you grasp how adverbs work."

"S—shut up, Sadist. I'm doing my best."

"Hm. I liked it better when you called me Sou-kun."

She pouted at him and his smug face. "That's just 'cause I can't remember your real name, and Onee-sama was calling you Sou-chan. Was it… Soda or Sol-fa or something...?"

"It's Sougo."

He knew, however, that his real name went in one ear and out in the other. The scowl is back on her face, and she tapped her pencil impatiently against her notebook. Her eyebrows were knit together in concentration, and without her swirly eyeglasses to cover her eyes, he saw how they almost _glowed_ whenever she felt anxious. " _Fastly_ isn't an adverb?"

"It's not an English word, at least."

"Hrm." She grumbled, and stared at the mess of English words in her textbook angrily. "It should be… so, _quickly, fast, speedily, slowly…_ "

Okita yawned. It was already 1 AM, and they had only managed to crawl through algebra and at least 10 bags of chips. Needless to say, the girl was a bottomless pit, and there was probably something bottomless in her head as well. They were far from covering all the topics needed in all the other subjects, so they decided to power through the coverage of the Monday exams only.

"Don't just concentrate on memorizing the words, China. You have to try to form meaningful sentences out of them, too. They might make us write an essay on the spot."

She gave an exaggerated sigh and put her pencil down. "I need a break, yup. Gimme the sukonbu."

"You had a break thirty minutes ago."

"Yep. Thirty long minutes." Okita tossed her the box of seaweed, and the next moment she was chewing on it happily. For a few, sleepy moments, there was nothing but the ticking of the clock and the munching sound of her biting through the pickled seaweed. "Say, Sadist…"

"Hm." He had made them coffees as well, and he sipped on his absently. It was already cold…

"Are you studying to be a doctor or something?"

"Wrong. Minus one point for China."

She puffed her cheeks. "Are we in a quiz show? Are we in Jeopardy? Did I ask Alex Trebek whether the Chihuahua will go into medicine?" On top of her sukonbu, she decided to open a bag of honey butter chips as well. "I'm just saying, 'cause you sure looked like you knew what you were doing when… when Onee-sama had that asthma attack, uh-huh."

He had done it since he was in middle school, when he and Mitsuba first moved out into the city. Their doctor in Bushu was the one who taught him how to use the BP app, the stethoscope; how to take vital signs; how to do chest physiotherapy; what to watch out for when she's having her attacks… he had done it as expertly as a nurse could do, and even kept his own record of her meds and status because who else would?

Truth be told, he had considered going into medicine if only for her sake, but…

"Nah. Wouldn't make a good doctor. I hate hospitals," he said in the same deadpan voice he always had. "My future's all planned out. Me and Kondo-san are gonna be police officers. He'll be the police chief, and I'll be his vice-chief. That's always been my goal."

"Uh-huh. What about the Mayora?"

"He could work in a mayonnaise factory for all I care."

"Hm. Funny. The Gorilla says you three will be together forever. Like the Powerpuff Girls or something, yup. How cheesy." She had a teasing grin on her mouth. Paired with her tired, blue eyes and the darkening circles around them, she looked like a panda. He told her so.

"Sorry, make that a trash panda. Since you could live off of eating garbage too," he clarified, and it earned him a smack on the head. "One day, I'll arrest you. Obviously you're gonna be a criminal after you graduate."

An undeniable flash of anger shrouded her facial features for a millisecond. Okita braced himself for her to yell at him or to kick him in the face again, but she seemed to have forced herself to calm down just in time.

"… foul, Sadist," was all she said.

"I'm just saying. From what you've shown me so far, you have the IQ of a bamboo shoot and you could easily eat your future husband out of a house and home. You'd definitely have to resort to larceny to feed yourself."

"What's larceny? Is that indecent exposure…? Oi, what perverted things are you imagining about me, anyway?! Quit using big Japanese words around me, yup!"

"Burglary… ugh, never mind. So, besides thieving, what are you going to do?"

She gave him a sly smile. "Why are you asking, Sadist? You're worried about me, aren't you?"

"Have to keep an eye on my future… clients." He gave her a dark smile as well, and she gave him a frown in return.

"Hmph. Do I have to decide so early about my future? I'm too young to know about these things… you can't trust teenagers to make a huge decision this early in their life when they haven't seen the world yet."

"Sounds like a completely unambitious slob's excuse."

"Even so, if you ask me right now about what I want to do… all I'll say is that I'd like to marry a handsome rich guy in a space station somewhere, take care of a huge, white puppy, and go travel in outer space as an alien hunter. Like, far, far away from the likes of you. That would be awesome." She said this with a dreamy, far-off look in her blue eyes.

"No doubt you look like you belong in outer space, China… so that makes two… no, three things I know about you."

Kagura tilted her head at him in curiosity.

"Your favourite food is sukonbu, you're from Taipei, and you don't know what to do with your life yet," clarified Okita.

"Hm. Why are you keeping count, Sadist?"

 _Because… even your new best friends here don't know anything about you. And this is the first real conversation we've had about you,_ he thought, but he only shook his head at her. " _Keep your friends close and your enemies closer_ ," he said in fluent English.

"Hmph. Show-off," mumbled Kagura. "Anyways, let's get back to studying already, uh-huh. If I fail, you have to buy me a shit load of sukonbu."

As the wee hours of the early morning went on, Kagura passed out on the table in the middle of English composition. Okita frowned as he watched her snore and drool in that annoying, audacious way of hers, but placed a blanket over her shoulders, just the same.

He decided to get some sleep, too. He would have gone to sleep on his own futon in his room, but he reminded himself that he needed to get up hourly to check on Mitsuba, and China was making the table look comfortable…

* * *

He didn't recall much in his dream. No images, at least. Just a weird, spicy taste in his mouth, as well as a weird sour, salty combination that he had never tasted before. A doorbell rang in his dream, but he was too tired to answer it.

When he awoke, it was because of the sound of activity in the kitchen. He bolted upright and saw Mitsuba in her facemask, making coffee, eggs, and rice.

She creased her eyes at him. "Sou-chan, good morning! You seem like you had a nice nap." She giggled. "You better look in the mirror."

Still groggy, Okita took out his phone and opened his selfie camera, which showed a big, red mark on his forehead from sleeping facedown on the coffee table. He was also wrapped in a blanket. He looked at the time: 9 AM.

"Hm. Did China go home already?" he asked. _This is her blanket._

Mitsuba nodded. "She didn't want to wake you since you guys pulled an all-nighter. She left at around six in the morning. Hijikata-san accompanied her home, so you don't need to worry."

Okita blinked. "Hijikata? What was _he_ doing here so early in the morning?"

Reacting to the rise in his voice, Mitsuba flinched. "Sou-chan, calm down. I… gave him a call when I woke up at five, and… he thought that he'd like to check up on me. And you guys too."

A quiet rage boiled from within him. He tried his very best to suppress it, especially since Mitsuba came from an exhausting night. "Aneue, you don't need to call him anymore, right? If you need anything, you could come to me instead. If not me, then Kondou-san. I don't want that nicotine-addled guy to—"

"Sougo. He's quit smoking for a month now." Her voice was firm when she said this. "And I appreciate you and Kondou-san's help, I really do. But I can rely on him too, right? It's my choice to want to see him, isn't it…?"

Okita bit the inside of his cheek. Nothing like a Mayora to ruin any kind of morning. The two of them made an agreement that he stay out of Mitsuba's way as much as possible, except when Mitsuba herself asks for him. Even though that was how their agreement went, he couldn't help but still blame that annoying V-shaped bangs for stealing her attention…

And on top of that, he gets to accompany China-girl home? In the early morning?! What would her dad think? Of course, he wouldn't mind the part where Hijikata's balls will get torn off and served over rice for breakfast, but…

"Anyway, Sou-chan. He didn't stay here for long, so please stop being so angry at him. Here, let's have breakfast." Despite the earlier tension, Mitsuba tried her best to keep the mood light.

Relenting, Okita glumly munched through his breakfast, trying to ignore the rage that wouldn't go away.


	5. Red Pizza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get treated to pizza.

To his surprise, at around lunch time, he received a message from an unknown number.

> _Sadist 2 PM Soyo-chans hous bring snaks  
>  Study grp_

That's right—he never asked for China's email, huh? He wondered how she got his. He blinked at his screen dully and replied,

> _Go bring the Mayora or something. How'd you get my email?_
> 
> _Mayora. Hes going. Gorilla 2. N megane n anego._
> 
> _Good. Have fun on your study date._
> 
> _Its nt a date its for exams u ass_  
>  Now u have to bring 100 sukonbu  
> Also I left my notebook there pls bring thx  
> Don't be late. Idiot saddist

He sighed. It figures that the airhead would leave some of her things in his house. When he cleaned up the table, she left not only her notebook, but also her mathematics text book, her entire pencil case, and a pink screwdriver (?), all buried under empty bags of chips and sukonbu boxes.

He would have to ask her later about that. In any case, it seemed like he had no choice but to go to the Tokugawa mansion, since someone had to bring all of China's stuff to her.

"Ugh! She is such a pain in the ass!" he said out loud.

From her room, he heard Mitsuba giggle. "That's how it starts, Sou-chan," she said.

He paid his sister no mind. The medications might have had some serious side effects in her judgment. He would have to send a text to her doctor about that.

* * *

At about ten minutes to 2, Okita arrived at the Tokugawa mansion.

Maybe 'mansion' was not the appropriate term for it, for it was closer to a palace. The gates were heavily guarded. Men in black suits were visibly guarding the entryways, and more of them may be hidden in plain sight. A large fountain spewed water gracefully around marble statues of water nymphs. A golf cart fetched him from the entrance and brought him to the glamorous entrance of the Western-style home. As expected, since it was the home of Tokugawa Shigeshige, prominent politician.

When he got inside, he was escorted to the mansion's library, which rivalled the size of the Gintama High School library. Soyo, Nobume, China, Otae, and Glasses Stand were already there, chatting over tea and crepes.

As expected, everyone was out of uniform. The girls, who were all popular for their looks, met expectations. In fact, everyone except the glasses stand seemed to be perfectly capable of scamming a desperate, middle-aged man with a Lolita complex from his well-earned money.

China, in particular, was not in her track-suit-over-sailor-uniform attire anymore, but was in a long-sleeved striped red top which hugged her figure nicely _(… nicely?)_ and a pair of jeans. (So, she was still hiding her arms and legs from the rest of them). The bun covers that were usually stubbornly placed at the side of her head were gone, effectively dispelling Okita's theory that she was hiding a pair of horns underneath. Instead, her hair, with that striking shade of vermilion, hung loose and fell around her shoulders. She wore a new pair of swirly eyeglasses though, and Okita supposed that it totally ruined her look…

He decided that among the girls, China should never attempt to scam any lolicon.

"Ah! Okita-kun! Welcome!" He snapped back to reality. Soyo, clad in a pink sweater and a skirt and looking as cute as a button, bowed to him, and he was compelled to do the same. "Take a seat with us. Did you have trouble coming here?"

"I'm good, thanks." Turning to Kagura, he smirked. "China, here's all your crap," he said, tossing an eco bag full of her things to her.

She frowned. "Where's the 100 sukonbu that you promised, Sadist?"

"I promised no such thing."

"My, my, Okita-kun," began Otae, whom he and the rest of the Shinsengumi called Onee-San out of respect (and fear for the commander's life). "I heard that Kagura-chan spent the night with you?"

"Anego! It's nothing like that! I would never bump uglies with a guy like that, yup. I'd get hives!"

"Kagura-chan, don't say things in such a vulgar way!" Shinpachi, clad in a forgettable white shirt and blue jeans, screeched. "And as far as I know, you guys just studied together like usual, right, Okita-san?"

"It's as Glasses Stand says, Onee-san. Besides, even if this pig forced me to, she's so unattractive nothing would stand up," he said in a deadpan voice.

"Ew. It might be a problem with your hardware then, idiot. Erectile dystopia is a serious disease, yup."

"It's _dysfunction,_ idiot. Do you want me to prove to you that I don't have it?"

The glasses stand screeched again and slammed his hands on the table. "Can we please change the subject! And who are you calling Glasses Stand!" Shinpachi whined, and the others laughed.

"Anyway, enough with your flirting, you two. You guys should resume your tutorial sessions at the pace you set before," said Otae. "Shin-chan and I will start in a while too, after I do pest control in Soyo-chan's home."

Out of nowhere, a familiar, gruff voice chimed in from under the table. "Pests, you say? You are correct, Otae-san. In fact, I have crushed about twenty cockroaches since I crawled here."

"Oh… it's definitely not the cockroach problem I'm worried about, but the awful gorilla infestation problem…" An evil pink aura surrounded her suddenly.

Crashing noises and the strangled cry of Kondou filled the normally quiet library, followed by Shinpachi's begging for Otae not to destroy the west wing… again. Soyo giggled at the entire exchange, while Nobume, pure in her white top and pants, munched on a pon-de-ring, looking as bored as ever.

* * *

"So, China-san, were you able to get home safely this morning?" a bleeding and bruised and profusely injured Kondou Isao asked softly as he took a seat at their table. "Toushi told me that he escorted you from Sougo's to your house."

"Nope. He only walked me as far as the train station. Then I asked him to let me go home on my own from there. He stank of mayo, yup. Not a nice thing to smell at 6 AM." Kagura said, wrinkling her nose, as if she remembered the smell again.

"Oi. Who are you calling stinky?"

Okita scowled at the newcomer. Hijikata, clad in a plain black button down shirt and dark jeans, arrived. Despite the fact that he had deep bags under his eyes, he hated that the Mayora looked dapper as usual. He would be popular if it weren't for his well-known obsession with mayonnaise. And right now he did smell of mayonnaise, but not of nicotine. He took a seat next to the commander.

"You, obviously. It was also embarrassing walking next to you since you were sucking mayo straight out of a bottle the entire time, uh-huh."

"You brat. Walk yourself to the train station next time."

"A—anyway, China-san! We have lots to talk about, I mean, about the events yesterday, but anytime you're ready, yeah? We could focus on studying first for today if you like," said Kondou.

She puffed her cheeks in annoyance. "No thanks, Gorilla. Also, you don't have to hover around me, you know? Don't need any idiots pretending to be my bodyguards, no siree."

From the corner of his eye, Okita observed that Soyo and Nobume were intently watching their exchange from the other table. The princess had a worried look over her face.

"… or so you say, China-san, but given the circumstances—If not me, then Toushi—"

"Kondou-san," interrupted Okita. The older man looked at him, a bit disconcerted. "You can't help someone who doesn't want help. And you know that she's a stubborn sow. The way it is, she'll probably just give the Shinsengumi a hard time."

"But, Sougo…" Kondou trailed off. Okita's tone was unexpectedly sharp all of a sudden, and even Kagura glanced up at him.

He sighed. "Anyways, let's prioritize exams first. We've wasted enough time already. C'mon, China."

Wordlessly, Kagura followed him to a separate table. Hijikata and Kondou looked at each other, and the rest of the room fell silent.

"You didn't have to say it like that, idiot," mumbled Kagura as she slumped down on her seat.

"I thought that was what you wanted, China. Since you're being an ungrateful brat to the disciplinary committee and all. After we save your ass—"

"You aren't even part of the shinsengumi anymore, Sadist. Anyway… let's not talk about it further," she said in a low voice. She took the eco bag and emptied all the contents of it on the table. Her things came rolling out noisily, echoing throughout the library. She was facing away from Soyo and Nobume, who were both glancing at them. Okita sighed.

"No plans at all to tell them?"

"Nope… well, not now… as far as they know, I had runny diarrhea and I had no choice but to shit at your house because it's closer to the school. Also, that Onee-sama asked the Mayora to bring me home since she needs you to clean up after me." Okita scowled at her, and all she did was to clear her throat. "So, Sadist. Where are your flash cards? I thought you were gonna make me some so I could study Chemistry."

He frowned. "I told _you_ to make them, you lazy ass." They went back to their usual bickering, and the heavy air around them gradually turned lighter.

* * *

Before they knew it, night fall came, and everyone was whining that their necks and shoulders and lower backs and butts were sore from sitting down. Soyo led them in a somewhat substantial walk to the other end of the mansion to their garden, where a huge table was set up in between a gorgeous display of lanterns and flowers. A different fountain and other marble statues were also on display.

Everyone except for Nobume ooh-ed and aah-ed at everything. "Soyo-san, this is amazing! Everything looks exquisite!" gushed Shinpachi.

"Yeah… It's not so bad, but I think it's a bit much…? Oni-san thinks so, too… he kind of wants to renovate everything and get rid of all the extravagant stuff," said Soyo. "Anyways, dinner is ready! I took into consideration what everyone liked, so I hope everyone enjoys dinner!"

Servers clad in expensive black suits came out and served huge plates, filled with… pizza.

And not just any pizza. All of them were 18 inches and had mozzarella cheese and tomato sauce, but each pizza had… unconventional toppings, to say the least. For example, one of them had whole bananas and cream on top. Another was littered with strips of sukonbu and raw eggs on rice. One was covered in cubes of chewing gum, and another was hidden under a large mountain of mayonnaise. One of them didn't look like a pizza at all, since it was covered with assorted flavoured pon-de-rings. One of them was half and half, with conventional pepperoni topping on one side and a smoking heap of dark matter on the other.

"Shin-chan and I needed a break earlier, so we gave the chefs a hand," said Otae, with that scary double-bladed smile of hers, and Shinpachi looking like his soul has left his corpse. "We call it the Shimura Special."

Hijikata raised his hand. "… excuse me, Onee-san. It seems that the dark half of the pizza is taking over the other half."

"Hmm? I don't see what you mean."

Okita raised his hand as well. "Excuse me, Onee-san. It looks like it's burning the rest of the pizza in a violent forest fire. I can hear the pepperoni and forest animals screaming for help."

"It looks like Shinpachi's half of the pizza is undercooked, so it must be correcting itself," answered Otae with a sweet smile.

"O—Otae-san! Ignore these idiots! I'll eat your side of the pizza that you lovingly made whole-heartedly!" Kondou moved to jump face-first into the dark matter pizza and was barely held back by Hijikata and Shinpachi, who was yelling that the weekend before exams was no time to have amnesia by food poisoning.

No-one could stop Kondou, however, and it only took one bite of the dark matter pizza for him to pass out. Everyone else turned away from him and ignored his writhing body and took a seat at the table.

Despite the unconventional pizzas, Kagura, Hijikata, and Nobume were thoroughly enjoying themselves. Especially Hijikata, who gushed that he'd never seen such a beautiful masterpiece of a pizza in his life. His appetite decreasing exponentially by the second, Okita boredly picked off the chewing gum from his pizza. Shinpachi sat next to him, sullenly holding a plate with a slice of banana pizza on it.

"I… itadakimasu," Glasses said weakly, taking a bite.

"Soyo-chan! This pizza is a genius idea! I could eat this everyday! This is so good," said Kagura gleefully as she chomped, while some of the sukonbu got stuck to her teeth.

"What a glutton," mumbled Okita. Beside him, he heard the glasses stand chuckle. He looked at him in a deadpan manner. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing. Kagura-chan's pretty cute when she gets excited over food, huh, Okita-san?" he said, picking off a banana from his pizza.

"I wouldn't say cute. You wouldn't call a garbage disposal cute… or would you have a weird fetish for that kind of gross thing, Glasses Stand?"

Shinpachi coughed on his pizza. "Oh… oh! Sorry, Okita-san, I didn't mean it like _that~_ I mean, I have no interest in Kagura-chan at all! She's like a little sister to me and that's all it is, so! I hope you don't misunderstand me! (Please don't kill me!)" He stressfully chomped through his pizza, bananas and all.

Okita blinked. He had not realized how sharp his tone suddenly was. "I don't know what you're talking about, you human wearing glasses," he said coldly.

"O—of course not! I don't know what I'm talking about either! (D-damn he's totally in denial! Is his inner tsundere unravelling?)"

"I didn't think so. It'd be a shame if the world's first sentient pair of glasses suddenly gets crushed in an unfortunate marble statue-related accident here somewhere."

Shinpachi avoided his gaze, though a chill was undoubtedly crawling down his spine. "(I take it back! He's a yandere if I've ever seen one!) (As expected of a total S!) (He totally gave me a death threat just now!) (Did he just call me a sentient pair of glasses?!)"

"How are you talking in parentheses anyway?" muttered Okita before looking away. Unconsciously, his eyes fell on China again, and she was arguing with Hijikata.

"I'm telling you, brat, it'll be better with mayonnaise. You have to try it," he said, pushing a bottle of mayonnaise he always carried on his person into Kagura's pizza.

"You'll ruin it! You'll ruin the Queen Kagura Special pizza with your foul mayonnaise, you mayo-loving freak!" It was too late, though, as Hijikata was able to squeeze a HUGE amount of mayonnaise over Kagura's last bite of pizza.

 _Why is this conversation so irritating?_ Thought Okita, trying to ignore the annoyed bulging vein on his head.

"Now, try it. You might as well. It's bad to waste food," said Hijikata victoriously.

"Urgh… to use my love of food like this…" Kagura took a deep breath, her face turning greener and greener as she brought the pizza closer to her face.

Just as she was about to take a bite, just as the tip of her tongue touched the underside of the crust, Okita suddenly got up to stop her. "Hijikata-san. You can't force your mayonnaise-freak ways on others." Before anybody could say anything, Okita took the pizza from her and popped it in his mouth. The mix of raw egg, pickled seaweed, mozzarella cheese, tomato sauce, and an unhealthy overdose of mayo almost made him hurl.

Everyone who was watching stopped breathing. Okita felt himself turn green, but controlled himself. He looked at China, who had her mouth agape, and gave an evil smile. In a voice just loud enough for Kagura to hear, he said, "Hehe. Indirect kiss~"

Kagura instantly howled. "Sadist, you're gross! Bluaaaargh!" She turned away and hurled a huge amount of vomit at a spot on the floor, which was unfortunately where Kondou was lying down.

"I'm not gross, you're gross!" Seeing the stream of vomit from her mouth, Okita couldn't take it anymore, and he himself hurled on top of his commander's head.

"You bastards! Stop desecrating Kondou-san's corpse! Blaaargh!" Before Hijikata could stop the two of them, he started hurling over Kondou's crotch area.

"Look who's talking, you idiot Mayora! The scent of the mayo on my pizza was enough to make me hurl! Blaaargh!"

"Move over. Now I have to hurl too." At some point, the usually quiet Nobume stood next to them and started vomiting rainbow-coloured vomit. Shinpachi was screeching at everyone to get a hold of themselves.

The floor was covered with an ample amount vomit. Kondou's weeping corpse was eventually carried by the unfortunate cleaning ladies to the washroom. Eventually, everyone calmed down, and Soyo gave everyone a glass of water.

* * *

Soyo later announced that dinner was over, and everyone shuffled back to the library. Kondou came back as well, clad in a luxurious white bathrobe which barely covered a mosaic area over his crotch, and studied next to Hijikata as if nothing happened.

Okita went back to trying to let Kagura remember all the equations she learned from the night before. Surprisingly, she remembered about three-quarters of the things they studied, and it was easier to do the practice equations afterwards.

Before they knew it, it was almost midnight. Soyo asked all of them if they would like to stay over for the night, but everyone except Nobume declined. The Shimuras went ahead on their way home first, with Kondou earning another beating for insisting that he escort Otae and his future brother-in-law back to their family-owned dojo.

"Kagura-chan, if you'd like, I can ask one of our chauffeurs to drive you home," said Soyo.

"It's okay, Soyo-chan! My old man wouldn't like it if a flashy car made it to our neighbourhood… it might get the neighbours talking, uh-huh," said Kagura.

"You better reconsider it, brat. We wouldn't feel comfortable sending you home by yourself," said Hijikata.

"Hate to agree with the Mayora, China, but he's right. You can't go home alone at this time of night. Don't make the princess worry about you," said Okita. He looked at her in the eye. _It'll be Soyo's responsibility if something happened on the way home from her house._

Kagura pouted and looked away. "W-well. If it's Soyo-chan who'll worry about me, I _guess_ I'm okay with being driven home…"

"Yay~! Thanks, Kagura-chan!" She signalled one of the guards, who nodded and walked away. "It'll be a minute… in the meantime, here's all the extra pizzas you asked for!"

A servant struggling to carry ten boxes of pizza came. He handed the boxes over to Okita, who got startled at the weight.

"O-oi, why am I carrying these?"

Soyo giggled. "Okita-san, you're coming with Kagura-chan to make sure she gets home safely, right?"

"Soyo-chan, it's okay, I don't need the Sadist to take me home… if anything, don't you think I'm less safe if the ultimate super S knew where I lived?" protested Kagura.

"Kagura-chan, you know he wouldn't hurt a fly! You even slept at his house already. Come on, I want to be super, super sure that you get home safe!"

As the two girls argued, Okita moved the tower of pizzas to look at Hijikata, who only shrugged at him.

_Don't look at me. You're the one who wants to make sure that someone's got her eye out on her at all times. You never know when those idiots who took her to the Dragon's Vein will strike again._

He scowled. Of course Hijikata was right. Anyone who knew about Dragon's Vein was rarely ever sane. He sighed and interrupted the girls' squabble by saying, "Come on, China, I know you're shameless, but you've inconvenienced the Princess enough. Let's get you back to the hole you crawled out of."

* * *

The ride to China's house was quiet. They sat at opposite ends, each facing the window, with the boxes of pizzas between them. The scent of them was enough to make him sick again. He was sure that most of them were the weird ones with sukonbu and eggs-on-rice.

Kagura's head leaned against the other window. He heard the rhythmic, soft snore and watched the steady rise and fall of her chest. Her hair crumpled against the window, surrounding her pale face in a halo of red.

He didn't realize that he was staring. Was he even staring? He was probably staring angrily and disinterestedly and uncaringly at the clear line of drool forming at the corner of her mouth. An awful, strangely hypnotizing rhythmic gurgling sound emanated not-so-horribly from the small gap in between her pink, soft-looking lips.

 _What… a total turn-off._ Something weird in Okita's chest throbbed.

"Excuse me, Kagura-dono. We are close to your home," said the chauffeur politely, abruptly cutting into Okita's reverie. Kagura didn't stir from her sleep.

He sighed, shook his head, willed himself to snap out of it. "China. Oi, China, wake up. You're almost home," he said.

"Grrgl grrgle shut up, Sadist," she groaned. Reluctantly, she rubbed her eyes awake and looked outside. "Hm. Julio-san, it's okay, you can drop me off at that street light there," she said.

Okita realized that they were in a small street in the Kabuki district, very close to where the host clubs and girly bars and gay bars were, but was relatively quieter with less of the red light establishments. They stopped in front of a small shop called Snack Otose. He assumed that Kagura lived in the dingy apartment at the second floor.

"Don't look at it like that, Sadist. I know it's not the Ritz," said Kagura.

"It's better than I expected. I thought you lived in a box under the bridge next to a kappa. Do you work in the bar to pay for rent or something?"

"… sometimes I help. Anyway part-time work is against the rules, so you better not tell anyone about this place," she said. The driver came up to them carrying all the boxes of pizza. "Oh, Sadist, I almost forgot… Julio-san, help me out a bit." She opened up one box after another, and Okita was sure that he saw one of them covered in strawberries and chocolate. He managed to suppress another wave of nausea.

"Nope, not this one… ah, here we go," she said victoriously.

She pulled one of the boxes from the driver's grasp and handed it to Okita. Curiously, he opened it, and the strong scent of spice instantly filled his nostrils.

The pizza smelled so spicy, it was practically on fire. Every inch of it was covered in red pepper flakes and Tabasco. There were also small green pieces of jalapenos, and many spicy rice crackers cut in the middle were arranged and nicely adorned each slice.

"I asked Soyo-chan's chefs to make it super spicy. They said this was 2 million Scoville units," she said. "Please give that to Mitsuba Onee-Sama and make sure she feels better."

Okita closed the box, sealing the fires within. "All right, I will."

Kagura stared at his face for a while-he fought hard to keep it neutral-then she smiled slyly at him. "You could say _Thank You, your imperial highness Gura-sama,_ you know."

"I'd rather die," he said. Nevertheless, his mouth betrayed him, and he smiled at her earnestly. "But I'm sure Aneue will enjoy this. I'll accept this offering."

"Hmph. Whatever, you punk chihuaua. Anyway, I have to get these pizzas up to my old man. See you on Monday, Sadist." With that, Kagura took the rest of the pizzas and left him with his own box, not even looking back or saying another word.

The chauffeur called his attention. It was time for him to go home.

Going into their own small apartment, he set the 18-inch pizza down in the kitchen, went to Mitsuba's room, and watched her sleep for a little bit. He held her hand and whispered to her about the nice, delicious pizza that the wild Chinese girl picked out for her.


	6. Red Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet Takasugi Shinsuke.

Sunday went by rather dully compared to the day before. The Okita siblings went to the park. Sougo went for a run, and Mitsuba read a book while sitting on a park bench and took in much-needed fresh air for her lungs. Later Mitsuba treated him to coffee before going back to their apartment so he could study.

He read and re-read his notes. He knew that he would pass the exams easily but for some reason he felt restless. Maybe it was because of Mitsuba, who was happily munching on the 2M Scoville Unit pizza in the kitchen. Maybe it was the 2-hour Weather Bonanza Special with Ketsuno Ana which was making sufficient noise in the background. Maybe it was constipation. In any case, he felt a heaviness in the air, some dark foreboding that he couldn't define or justify.

The next day was the first day of exams. A mixture of nervous and sleep-deprived students marched towards the gates. Ever since the renowned mad scientist Gengai came back to teach at the high school, exams in Gintama High became notorious for being super hard. Even the A-classes were having a hard time coping, and mortality rates for these classes were high, whether or not the students went to cram school or not.

More so for the slobs of 3Z. Apart from Okita himself, he could only see Imai Nobume (who had no emotions) and Saitou Shimaru (who was mute, and also had no emotions) as the only other people who did not look like they were dancing on the edge of a sharp knife and/or had the life sucked out of them over the weekend.

For example, these idiots. "Th—this is bad!" Glasses screeched. "Why did I eat breakfast? Why did I think that the breakfast burrito with black eggs and black ham and black tortilla and black material was harmless? My memory… no, scratch that, my vision is fading! I won't make it!"

"Shin-chan~ you aren't blaming the tamagoyaki burrito I lovingly prepared for you this morning, hm? It was meant as a calorie-dense nutritious meal so your brain doesn't starve during exams." Even though her tone was sweet, shadows and tension was etched into every line of Otae's face, making her look like a character from Fist of the North Star.

"F-forget calorie-dense… It was dense with something else entirely…"

"You should be ashamed of yourself, Shinpachi. I'll help you commit ritual suicide," said Kyuubei, looking honourable and standing threateningly over the weeping Shinpachi. "… and then I'll come after you… my vision is turning black too… I'm sorry, Otae-san… I'm not worthy of your food!"

"Kyuu-chan! Get a hold of yourself!" Sarutobi yelled, stomping in between them. "Before you go and hurt Shinpachi, you better do me first! Here, my whip! Come on, I need it to concentrate before the exams start! (Also, as a warm-up before G-ginp-p-pachi-sensei whips me with his… eeeee!)"

Was China really serious about protecting these retards? If anything, society needed to be protected from their potential to create massive and perverted man-made disasters. He watched this scene absently and realized that the seat next to his was empty. However, just as the first bell rang, the red-haired, twin-bunned girl in question ran into the classroom, huffing and puffing with rivulets of sweat dripping down her face.

"Damn! I woke up late! I had to run from my house to here!" she announced, dropping to her seat in a heap.

"Don't you live, like, 10 km away?"

"Yup," she said. She was munching on a plate of fried rice already. "What's your point, Sadist? Oi, Zura, this is good!"

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura," said the long-haired wig, who decided for some reason to make fried rice for everyone in the classroom while dressed as a waiter. "Leader, I remember you telling me you had stress barfs because of the exams, so Elizabeth and I lessened the portion."

It was a normal portion. "That's super nice of you, Zura! I couldn't keep anything down so I was actually thinking of eating something light too! _Chomp chomp."_

"I hope you do well in the exams, Leader." He glanced at Okita and gave him a dark look. "If you fail, I'll make sure that the corrupt Shinsengumi pays for their failure."

"And I'll make sure you're expelled," said Okita in his usual deadpan way. "Terrorist wannabe."

Katsura said nothing more and went to his seat, where Elizabeth was stressfully writing on a signboard. ( _We're gonna die, Katsura-san. Die. Die. Die. Why did we spend all morning making chahan!)_

Okita tried to ignore the annoyance welling up inside—that tended to happen whenever he interacted with Katsura—and turned his attention back to Kagura. "Hm. China. You're not wearing a tracksuit anymore," he commented.

For once she looked like a proper student. Her sailor uniform was only slightly rumpled, and she was even wearing her student ID, which hung from a striking red ID lace around her pale neck. More importantly, her arms were snow white and clear and fresh, as if nothing had happened. The skin under her skirt and above her knee-high socks was also unmarred. Not a single cut or bruise in sight. "Well, duh, Sadist. They might not give me my test if I'm not in proper and complete uniform."

 _She was beaten and bruised three nights ago. This doesn't make sense. This girl is totally an alien,_ thought Okita, but not without wonder. "You have to take me on an all-expenses paid trip to your home planet if you pass all the exams."

(He tried not to let his gaze linger over her skin for too long.)

"What are you talking about?" The second bell rang and interrupted their conversation. Ginpachi-sensei lazily entered the room and took his place behind the teachers' desk.

"Yo. As you slobs know, today's exam day. Put all your crap in front of the classroom and take your seats. Uh, right, I have to explain the directions. So basically you shade the circles completely in these scantron sheets, and, uh… dammit, I have no energy to explain everything." He started passing out the answer sheets. "So you guys are all in high school anyway. If you're too stupid to get how this works then you might as well fail. Open the textbooks in your hearts, but if I catch any of you brats opening anything else, I'll open up a new gateway to—"

He was interrupted by the slam of the door against the wall. 3Z, who were all on edge (thanks to Ginpachi-sensei too), faced the door, brandishing all their hidden weapons.

"Tsk. Sensei, I thought this was exams, not a school rumble."

Okita's eyes widened at the newcomer.

"Tch." Ginpachi looked tense for a moment, but seemingly forced himself to relax, turning back to his slack, fish-eyed self. "Making a scene so early in the morning, Takasugi. Sit your ass over there at the back."

Takasugi Shinsuke, the delinquent of legend, was back. Except for the fact that one of his eyes was covered with a bandage, the crazed look in his eyes, the one Okita remembered clearly from two years ago, remained the same. His uniform was untidy and loose, and he carelessly ambled over to the seat where Ginpachi made him sit.

Okita glanced quickly at his classmates from the disciplinary committee. Kondou, Hijikata, Yamazaki, and Saitou caught his glances. They were all thinking the same thing.

_This guy… what's he playing at?_

"All right kids. Make your poor ol' overworked Ginpachi-sensei proud. Good luck."

All the students flipped their questionnaires over, fighting off the tension that was taking over the room. Ginpachi, as a proctor, needed to roam around the room and make sure he didn't need to open up a gateway up someone's ass to Laputa's Castle in the Sky. In his usual lazy stride, walked from one aisle to the next, momentarily feigning indifference to the so-called legendary delinquent, who was quietly answering their Geometry exam.

* * *

The first two exams, Geometry and English, were quite painful. By lunchtime, everyone was either weeping, laughing inappropriately, or were complaining of hallucinations. Kondou-san was so stressed he started stripping almost automatically before Hijikata and Yamazaki stopped him.

"Oi, Sadist. This is bad. They'll deport me to Timbuktu if I don't make it." Sitting across him with another plate of chahan, five pieces of garlic soy chicken, and three cups of chocolate pudding in front of her, Kagura had a look that was between defeat and utter emptiness. "I'm totally going to crush your nuts if I fail. Yup."

"Not if I skin you, shred your innards, and sell what's left of you to the black market first, you sow," grumbled Okita. "At this point I don't even care what Ginpachi-sensei will do to me. I'm totally going to kill you if you don't pass."

"I'll kill you first. Totally. Yup." Kagura bit lifelessly into her drumstick. "A light lunch for me today, too… I've lost so much of my appetite. I feel like I'm wasting away."

Okita munched on a hotdog sandwich tiredly. The exams were pretty difficult, but doable. If China failed and let their punishment stick, he swore to himself that he'd deport her to Timbuktu personally.

"Okita-kun. Long time no see."

His guard up, he sharply turned to the side and met Takasugi's one crazed eyeball with his own gaze. The members of the disciplinary committee suddenly stood up from their seats on high alert.

"Whoa, jumpy. Calm down, my dear _Shinsengumi_. As you can see, I'm a reformed man," he said, waving his arms around, as if to show everyone in the room that he had nothing to hide. "I'm just here to greet an old acquaintance and…" He tilted his head as he turned to the red-haired girl seated across Okita. "… his new girlfriend? Very cute, Okita-kun. You better introduce us," he drawled.

"How about no?" said Okita, earning him a mocking laugh from the delinquent. Kagura and the rest of 3Z were looking at them anxiously.

The delinquent laughed-it had the rasp gained from years of tobacco use. "I didn't think you were the possessive type. You don't have to worry. I won't steal her from you... different story though, if she decides to pick me instead."

"Not that I care, but if you went out with her, it'd be a felony. What are you, 25?"

"18."

"Takasugi." From the other side of the room, Katsura momentarily stopped serving his classmates their fried rice desserts. He stopped in the middle of them, making his body a barrier. "Sou-kun and Leader aren't in that kind of relationship. Let's not worsen the misunderstanding."

"Is that so, Zura? The rumours of the Yakuza Princess and her Yankee Prince aren't true? I thought I'd have some interesting people to spar with when I came back." Takasugi grinned at them.

"I'm no yakuza, you damned Yankee," seethed Kagura, clenching her fists. The tension around her grew, and Okita knew that she was keeping herself again from going violent.

"Oh. So she speaks Japanese. Aren't you interesting." The one-eyed man motioned himself to come closer to the redhead and was reaching out to grab her ID-lace to read her name, but Okita stood in between them.

Wordlessly, he glared at the delinquent. Next thing he knew, his other classmates followed suit—the members of the Shinsengumi, the Sadistic Sisters, the Shimuras, and Kyuubei and Sarutobi all stood behind Kagura, as if to protect her from Takasugi.

"Oh. How cute." Takasugi laughed. "You guys are overreacting. Sheesh, a guy like me can't be friendly with new students anymore. At least one question, though. Where'd she come from?"

"Enough." A strong, authoritative voice sounded from the front of the classroom. To everyone's surprise, Ginpachi-sensei was watching the scene unfold before him for who knows how long already.

He ambled his way in between Takasugi, Katsura, and everyone else. He then flicked Takasugi on the nose. "Don't act like such a punk. Characters like you with a complex and dark backstory with bad-ass looking facial injuries are never the Big Bad Guy anyway, so quit acting like one."

Momentarily losing his poise, Takasugi rubbed his nose in irritation, before composing himself again and clearing his throat. " _Hai, sensei._ I didn't think I was acting like a bad guy anyway."

"Hm. I thought so." Ginpachi-sensei looked dully at everyone else. "The rest of you—finish your damn chahan and take your damn seats. You think the next exams are easy?... Oi, Zura, gimme my dessert."

One by one, everyone went back to their seats to tensely eat their lunch. Okita went back to his hotdog sandwich. Out of nowhere, a plastic bag fell on his table with a resonant thud.

"What's this."

"Yakulk. A peace offering. To show you and your red girl that I mean no harm," said Takasugi with a deadly smile before going back to his seat at the back of the room, hands in his pockets.

"Hmph. As if you can buy peace with Yakulk… What's that guy doing, adapting all those clichéd bad-ass poses…" Suddenly hearing gulping noises beside him, Okita turned and watched blankly as Kagura chugged bottle after bottle of Yakulk.

"Glug-glug-gulp…" Kagura looked at him, and then turned green. "S-sadist… this is bad… my stress barfs… my stress barfs! Hrrgh!"

Okita nonchalantly pushed her head to the opposite direction as she hurled, and it just happened to be where Kondou was seated, eating a suspiciously black burrito with his fried rice plate. "Ahhh! China-san! You barfed on my lunch! And on me too!"

"K-Kondou-san. I feel sick too. Hrrrgh!"

"Oh no, not again! Toushi! Help me! Hrrrrgh!"

Thankfully, 3Z had enough time to transfer to the school gym for their afternoon exams. Kondou, however, had no time to get a change of clothes and had to take his exam at the far corner of the gym, with a mosaic covering his nether regions.

* * *

After the initial shock of the first day, the next day and the day after that were more tolerable. Okita supposed that it was due to people either getting used to the stress or just plain giving up on trying. When Kondou tried to strip out of stress again, no-one lifted a finger to stop him.

After classes, the active members of the Shinsengumi, allegedly under the instruction of the committee adviser Matsudaira-sensei, discreetly watched Takasugi's movements around campus. While he still had that same crazed look on his face, he didn't seem to be doing much of anything. He read The Prince by Machiavelli (the English version! exclaimed Yamazaki in admiration) in between exams, and went home as early as he could. Sometimes he hung out with the creepy Lolicon guy and the kind-of-popular ukulele guy from 3-Y, but they all went home early each time.

 _Maybe he's serious about being a reformed man…? That could be why Ginpachi-sensei seems like he trusts him so much,_ typed Kondou in the group chat.

 _Dunno about that. It's been a few days. He might do something drastic after exams,_ replied Hijikata.

 _I, too, feel bad vibez around him. Those guyz from 3Y feel suspiciouz as well. Zzz (sleeping emoji),_ typed Saitou.

_In any case, even though it's exams, we can't drop our guards. Yamazaki, continue giving us your reports. Might want to drop out of Badminton club for a while._

_Eehhh? Hijikata-san, that's too much! Minton is life! (crying emoji)_ _And you promised to reimburse me for all the anpan I ate while doing stakeouts last week orz I'm poor plz help_

_I'll stick that racket so far up your XXXXX that XXXXXXXXX_

The screenshot that Hijikata sent him ended there. Okita deleted the file and looked at Hijikata, who was regarding his reactions.

"So?"

"We just keep watching our backs," said Hijikata. They were hanging out near the river just outside school grounds, away from prying eyes. "Smartest move for any one of us at the moment."

Okita mulled over the information in his head silently. All of them had a good reason for reacting the way they did when _he_ came back. Takasugi Shinsuke was at the center of a massive disaster in Gintama High three years back, when he, Hijikata and Kondou were in their first year of high school. Many regretful things happened. The awful conclusion was that many students ended up needing hospitalization, and the three of them were expelled.

It was such a huge scandal that since then, section Z had a bad reputation with the rest of the school for being a class full of delinquents. It was Ginpachi-sensei who picked up the pieces of the class and fought for the school to give Kondou and Hijikata a second chance, because as he said, the modern world evolved so that Gorilla and a Demon Mayora can be of good use to the society.

The two of them only got held back a year and were now doing their best to pay back as members of the Disciplinary Committee, which was given the nickname _Shinsengumi_ after the historical police force, since Hijikata instilled his demon-like disciplinary code over the entire student body.

In the present, they have been doing well. While known as a class of misfits and weirdoes from outer space, the student body began to trust in section Z again. So it came as a surprise for everyone that Takasugi was allowed to come back, and even enter as a third year, after passing the third year entrance examinations with only two mistakes. Apparently, Ginpachi-sensei must have seen something in him that also warranted this second chance. The utter injustice of it angered Okita, though he tried his best not to show it. Besides, something else apart from ancient history bothered him…

"Any idea why he's so interested in China?" He didn't appreciate how he called her _red girl,_ nor did he like the way he looked at her when she wasn't looking. It was eerily similar to how he looked at Mitsuba years before. Hungrily. Like she was something to be used. And Kagura was infuriatingly oblivious to all of it.

Hijikata sighed deeply, similar to the way he would when he still smoked cigarettes. "No clue. I've an inkling that those girls got the courage to target that brat because of him. But I can't make a connection yet. It could be as simple as he and that Lolicon having the hots for China…"

Suddenly Hijikata was doubling over in pain. Okita had a dead look in his face and had automatically hit him in the stomach with his fist. "W-what the fuck, Sougo… you damn Sadist!"

"Don't say dangerous things in public, Hijikata-san. I'm only trying to protect you."

"Bastard! Just because you have it too, doesn't mean that—" Okita had him in a headlock at this point, and just as Hijikata almost ran out of air, he heard a girlish voice behind him.

"Okita-kun! Hijikata-san! What are you guys up to?" Soyo, who was flanked by Nobume and Kagura, saw them from a distance and was waving at them. Okita let go of Hijikata, who fell to the ground gasping for air.

"Hi, Princess. We were just jogging," he said blankly.

"The Sadist lies." Kagura said, munching on an ear of corn. "They were probably peeing in the grass side-by-side and looking at each other's xxxxx in secret, yup."

"Oh. Is that why you were trying to kill Hijikata-san again? Did his xxxxx offend you?"

"It was offensive in that it was leaking a mayo-like substance at one end of it."

"O-oi, what the hell are you telling these girls, you disgusting brat!"

"Yuck! I knew it, yup! Mayora, you should stop eating so much mayo! It's making your xxxxx sick!"

Hijikata was turning into a furious shade of red. "We w-weren't doing anything like that! Be serious. We were just talking about the exams today."

"The Mayora lies. He's totally hiding his xxxxx disease, yup. And Sadist will never have his stand up again."

"Like I said, China, want me to prove to you that I don't have it?"

"You guys should really stop talking about xxxxx's! Apart from making me sick-" Hijikata pointed his finger dramatically at Nobume, who was hastily scribbling down on a notebook. "She looks like she's enjoying this too much! Oi, what's a so-called elite brat like you doing with that kind of filth?"

Nobume held her notebook, labelled "BL (HijiOki Serial #21)" written in huge, block letters, closer to her. "… it's one of my bestsellers," she said nonchalantly, as a line of blood appeared from under her nostrils.

Further chaos ensued, with Soyo gushing about how excited she is for Nobume's next chapter, Hijikata stammering about how long was this going on and is that why a lot of fan girls panted around him so much when he was hanging out with the Shinsengumi all these years, and China…

China was just laughing her ass off over the whole thing. While it wasn't the first time that Okita saw this, it was the first time that she was laughing so openly and boisterously around him. It was probably the first time she had her guard down, and Okita knew that he needed to make sure to protect that laughter of hers.

As that inappropriate thought made its way into his head, he felt that irrational need to punch Hijikata in the gut once more.

* * *


	7. Red Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They lose a fight.

It probably started during lunchbreak. Kagura was guffawing at the Madao's despair one moment. The next, she was looking at her phone, an unmistakable anxious glow in her eyes. She didn't linger on this for too long-it was just enough that Okita noticed the difference. She pushed up her swirly glasses and immediately moved on to bother Shinpachi.

Okita glanced at Takasugi. If he had something to do with the message that Kagura received, it wasn't apparent. He was at his seat at the back, his feet up on the table, quietly reading an English print of The Little Prince. (Did Yamazaki just misread what he was reading? That badminton idiot.)

"All right, my dear pupils. One more today, and one last exam tomorrow. Let's get to it," slurred Ginpachi-sensei as the bell rang.

At that time, China looked as she normally did, but she was unable to hide the twitch in her fists.

As soon as exams were over, Kagura, in an impressive feat of stealth and discretion, disappeared under the watchful eye of the Shinsengumi. Soyo told Okita that no, she didn't tell her where she was going either and hasn't sent a message yet, and was there any reason to worry? Okita answered in the negative, but rushed the hell out of the school just the same.

Okita cursed China for being the secretive brat that she was. What the hell happened to her for her act this way? What kind of trouble was she getting into again? And what was this annoying protective instinct that suddenly activated in him, anyway? Okita told himself that it was so his school life could go back to normal because Ginpachi-sensei punished him blablabla but he knew that it wasn't entirely true, and he inwardly cursed himself for whatever the reason truly was.

Responding immediately to his SOS, Shimaru messaged everyone that no, China-san wazn't at Dragon'z Vein. Okita stopped in his tracks, racked his brain for the next likely place that she would be, and ran.

He looked at all the alleys and yards and enclosed spaces he could think of near Gintama High, but they were all empty. He closed his eyes and thought again, and ran to the dumbest place he could think of, which was the dump near the middle school.

"Bingo."

True enough, there she was, in all of her red-haired, stubborn glory. Nothing physical was going on yet. And to Okita's surprise, it was only her and that fake orange-haired girl there speaking to each other.

He ducked out of sight. He sent the location to the Shinsengumi groupchat. He would be ready to jump in when needed. For the meantime, he needed to listen.

"… I'm super sick of seeing your face and hearing your name all over campus," the girl was saying. She had a steel pipe in her hands, and even though she held it awkwardly, she had enough ill intent in her eyes to use it. "You think you're so popular, you Chinese freak, but you're wrong. You have no idea—no idea how much the other kids want to see you deported!"

Kagura was making a show of looking bored. She picked her nose and yawned. "Uh-huh. And so?"

The more bored she was, the angrier the other girl got. "I—I'll show you what happens to those who cross Urara-chan!" The girl charged at her, but her movements were too predictable. Kagura merely stepped back, and the girl called Urara swung the pipe in the air, lost her balance, and almost fell.

"… are we done? I need to go home and take a dump, yup," Kagura said.

Before Urara could finish grinding her teeth and try again, a strong voice came from the shadows. "Urara-chan. You disappoint me."

A taller female with long, blonde hair tied in two pigtails came out from the shadows. She wore the same Gintama High sailor uniform. Okita didn't know who she was. She had a haughty and dangerous look in her eyes, and this alone was enough to make Urara flinch.

"M—Matako-san," stammered the girl on the ground. "I could handle—" she squealed as the blonde girl took the pipe from her hands.

"I gave you enough time, little girl. You had one job, and that was to make the Yakuza Princess to leave school." She spat on the ground, making the girl cry out. "If you were serious about it, I wouldn't have to do this to her. So whatever happens today is all your fault. Remember that."

"What do you mean?" asked Urara.

Matako's answer was a violent swing of the steel pipe. The whooshing sound echoed all around the dump. The girl whimpered.

"Hmph. Are we gonna get serious today? You guys suck at timing, yup," said Kagura, stretching her neck to the side as if warming up. "I don't understand why you guys are fussing over me, but I'm telling you, I'm not Yakuza. I'm not even Japanese, nuh-uh." She spat.

In slow motion, Okita watched as the spit flew in the air and landed in the middle of Matako's face.

For a tense second, there was silence. And then, Matako yelled and charged at Kagura, brandishing the steel pipe angrily in one strong arm.

Once weapons are used, the chance of people needing hospitalization increases. Okita's body tensed, ready to jump to defend her, but something suddenly held him back. He felt a pair of arms clamp his from the shoulder joint.

'What the—"

"I'm afraid this is none of your business, Okita-san," an unfamiliar voice spoke calmly in his ear.

He wrestled himself free of his grasp, but not without difficulty. He delivered a kick backwards, and the other guy's grip loosened. He found himself face-to-face with an older guy with a receding hairline, big, dark eyes, and a vacant expression.

In his peripheral vision, Okita saw that China was putting up a decent fight. She jumped and dodged and rolled away from Matako's heavy blows, which progressively came down more quickly than the last. To his relief, China didn't seem to throw any punches or kicks. _As long as she gets out of here with her hands clean, we're good._

"Let the ladies have their fight. We can have our own—" began the guy, but he was cut off when a fist suddenly appeared in the air dangerously close to his head. "… oh?... Zura-dono. This is a surprise."

"It's not Zura. It's Katsura." True enough, the long-haired wig was standing behind him. He brought his fist back. "It's Takechi-san, isn't it? If it's related to Takasugi, I prefer you spoke to me rather than that Shinsengumi dog."

The guy named Takechi clicked his tongue and faced Katsura. "It's really none of your concern. Like I said, it's a fight between the ladies. If we don't respect their personal space, it's sexism, isn't it?"

Katsura's fist went out again, and the lolicon dodged this. "Sou-kun. I'll handle this. Take care of Leader," he called out as a fist fight began between the two of them.

"Not so fast!"

Out of nowhere, about ten or more delinquents, who were watching the fight from within the shadows of the dump, stepped out and surrounded Katsura and Okita. They did not wear uniforms, did not all have a complete set of teeth, and looked like they didn't smell nice. They were equipped with various pipes, wooden knives, and bats, some of them glimmering with nails.

"… not good," muttered Okita. Katsura flinched.

Takechi blinked vacantly. "Now now, Okita-san, Zura-dono. I am a peaceful student just like you two. I do not wish to resort to violence. I advise the two of you to just watch our strong women fight. Let's all be feminists and let things unfold." A gleam of excitement shone in his dark eyes, and the perversion in them made Okita sick.

His fist collided with Takechi's jaw before he could stop himself.

Noticing the commotion over at their side, Kagura stopped mid-fight, causing Matako to freeze in her steps stupidly too. "Oi! Sadist! Zura! What's going on over there? You better get out of here!"

"Like hell we will, China! What the fuck are you doing, causing trouble for all of us?!"

"You aren't supposed to be here in the first place, you idiot! Get out of here NOW!" Kagura yelled. Her face which was red from all the jumping and dodging grew even redder with rage. "And Mayora! Gorilla! You better leave too, or I'm kicking your asses next!"

Okita heard a familiar voice curse from behind. "I don't know why we even bother helping you out, you brat!" Hiding themselves within the group of delinquents, Hijikata, Kondou, Saitou, and Yamazaki made themselves known. They were carrying wooden swords (probably borrowed from the Kendo club) except for Yamazaki (badminton racket).

The delinquents yelled comically in surprise, jumping away from the disguised disciplinary committee. "It can't be—the Shinsengumi's here?! I didn't sign up for this!" and various other comments of a similar fashion erupted from the crowd.

"Anyway, now that we're exposed, we might as well strike. Right. You filthy delinquents! Come at us!" Kondou yelled heroically, and in an instant, the rowdy bunch of teenagers charged at them.

There was a pretty good reason why the Shinsengumi, a small-time student committee from a small-time high school in Kyoto, was infamous among delinquents—almost all of them were former delinquents, and all of them were crazy skilled at streetfighting. Kondou came down with all the strength of a gorilla, able to take on two guys with bats at the same time with just his bare hands. Hijikata fought like he was possessed by an actual demon, and the delinquents he was facing practically ran off, whimpering in fear. Saitou was the famed Wolf with an Afro (a Wolf-fro), moving quickly and powerfully, leaving a number of bruised bodies on the ground. Yamazaki wasn't particularly strong, but he was so ordinary that his enemies frequently forgot which side he was on, and this confusion gives him time to beat them up.

And Okita was the deadliest of them all. He didn't earn the nickname Sadist and his reputation for being the strongest man in the Shinsengumi for nothing. He had so much skill that Kendo club bored him. Rumours as early as his middle school years circulated that he enjoyed fighting for the sake of hurting others and getting high off the scent of blood. It wasn't entirely true (at least the scent of blood part, which was frankly gross), but he intended to demonstrate it all in that dump.

The assailants seemed to increase in number, but he fought his way through the mess of them as if they were ants. On his way to Kagura, a couple of thugs blocked his path. He didn't flinch; a single roundhouse kick took care of one of them instantly, and it took him a few seconds of struggle to deal with the one carrying a nail bat.

"Hey, Yakuza. Your fight is with me!" Matako angrily swung her pipe. Kagura dodged out of the way again and spat in her face.

Matako shrieked once more. "You—we've wasted enough time! Bansai-san!"

Out of nowhere, a shadow wearing dark glasses and a giant headset loomed behind Kagura. Before she could dodge, her arms were clamped, and she was lifted up by her arms.

"Okay. Hold her still." Within the blink of an eye, Matako's foot impacted against Kagura's abdomen with a thud that resonated within the whole dump. Kagura's strained cry and coughs came after, as her torso contracted in pain.

Okita watched this in horror. He kicked the thug away, barely even acknowledging the nail bat that flew out of his hands. Matako was positioning another kick to her gut again. He had to run—had to get her away from there—had to protect her—

Another loud thud echoed in the dump, followed by a loud gasp.

"S—SOUGO!" came the horrified yell of Kondou.

He had jumped in the way on time, but the kick landed on his solar plexus. He felt his diaphragm stunned into silence, and he fought to keep air in his lungs. He collapsed on the ground in a fit of coughing and fought not to lose consciousness.

Seeing this scene unfold in front of their eyes, the delinquents, the Shinsengumi, and Katsura stopped dead in their tracks. A few moments of shocked silence followed, as they watched the guy called Bansai drop Kagura onto the ground next to Okita.

Matako first had a look of shock on her face as well, but she immediately hid it. In an instant, it was as if nothing happened. She faced the boys fighting on the other side of the dump and put her hands on her hips. "We're done, you retards. Time to go."

"Y—you damn thugs! Do you think we're letting you off this easy? You are all going to be expelled, starting with you!" Hijikata growled, storming his way towards her, the shinai appearing menacing in his grasp.

Matako clicked her tongue. "I don't think so. Takechi-sempai," she called.

The self-proclaimed feminist sighed briefly. "I suppose I must do this." He jumped swiftly to where Matako was before the Mayora was able to get to her.

"What are you—"

Without so much as a grimace, Takechi allowed the steel pipe to fall over his outstretched arm, resulting in a horrible shattering sound.

Matako sniffed and threw the pipe on the ground. She turned to Urara, whose existence was forgotten until that moment. "Urara-chan~ look at what happened to Takechi-sempai! I think he broke his arm! Isn't it horrible? How could the Shinsengumi do such a thing…? Weren't they supposed to protect the students of Gintama High? What are they doing, attacking them instead?"

"H-huh?"

The members of the Shinsengumi flinched. "Oi, what are you playing at?"

"… and to get involved in a dirty streetfight with other delinquents… even going so far as to work with that other yankee, Katsura—doesn't he have all those suspensions for ruining bathrooms with his fireworks?" continued Matako, faking a worried pose. "Isn't it terrible, Urara-chan? And it's all because Kagura-chan told them to do it! Because she didn't quite like it when you beat her up a week ago, didn't she? This is some next-level revenge, isn't it? Even though Urara-chan ought to be suspended too for bullying her, you didn't deserve any of this, didn't you, Urara-chan?"

Upon the mention of suspension, Urara's eyes widened, and she looked at Matako's deadly gaze in horror.

"So… you do understand, don't you, Urara-chan?" Matako finished, smiling sweetly.

"… I… I understand," she whimpered, tears welling up in her eyes.

Sighing deeply, the blonde girl turned once more to the Shinsengumi, who still had their weapons up. "There you have it. I have witnesses to your crime, Shinsengumi. I wonder what would happen to the school if they found out that the disciplinary committee was run by a bunch of thugs. Of course, we could make it so that Takechi-sempai broke his arm while biking home. It's up to you." Without further ado, she started walking away. Takechi, Bansai, and the significantly weakened Urara went after her without so much as another glance to the rest of them.

The delinquents knew that the show was over and had the good sense to scamper away with the little dignity they had left before the Shinsengumi remembered that they had to beat them up further. However, the committee rushed to their collapsed suspended member and the shell-shocked transfer student seated next to him.

The kick was stronger than it looked, Okita thought with some twisted admiration. Not many kicks would send him to the ground and make him stare at the reddening sky.

"Sougo, are you all right? Say something." He felt Kondou's gruff hands lift his shoulders from behind, and he saw the commander's worried gaze.

"I'm fine. I'll be able to stand up in a minute."

He struggled briefly to turn his head to the side. He didn't know how much it hurt for her, but he was sure that the heaviness and sorrow plainly displayed on her face was not from the physical pain. Katsura and Yamazaki simultaneously attempted to comfort her, going as far as wrapping her up using their uniform tops.

The sight of it hurt his chest. On top of it, a dull pain remained in his torso. Thankfully he was able to breathe again normally. He'd taken many other hits in his lifetime, and as strong as the kick was, it wasn't something he couldn't handle. But…

"It's the first time I've seen you purposefully take a hit for someone else, Sougo." Hijikata muttered to him. His gaze was still dark and dangerous—he was almost shaking in anger as to what transpired in the dump. "I promise you guys, the Shinsengumi won't let this go. I won't rest until those bastards are expelled, along with their crazy-eyed—"

"No."

In surprise, everyone looked at Kagura. She was silent and fragile and looked like she would break in a minute, but her voice was heavy and strong.

"Oi, China. You saw how serious this is. This has actual legal implications. You can't just back away from—" began Okita. She cut her off by standing up suddenly.

She stumbled a bit as she did. She had her head bowed down. Her vermilion hair cast a shadow over her face which made it unreadable. "You heard that crazy bitch. If any of you guys say anything, the Shinsengumi and even Zura will get in trouble. Might even get expelled. And all the trouble that Gin-chan went through for everyone in 3Z will be for nothing. If you keep your mouths shut, all I have to do is leave, then everything will be normal—"

"You can't leave! I won't allow you!"

"Sadist, you… you saw how crazy they are! They'll never stop bugging me-never stop hurting you guys until I give in... It'll only get worse from this point on! Besides, who are _you_ to tell me what to do?!" Her voice cracked a little.

"Me? I'm the only one who's allowed to beat you up. Nobody else! Dammit China-girl, you're mine!"

Everyone except her looked at him in surprise. He knew the moment the thought stumbled out of his stupid mouth that it sounded like a confession, albeit a twisted one. But at that point he didn't care. He meant every angry, possessive, sadistic word that he said. He felt that strange version of him take over, and the stoic front he held for so long folded and watched helplessly.

Yet, Kagura didn't answer him. Didn't flinch, didn't curse at him for saying such a stupid thing. Didn't even look at him. The voice that followed wasn't as strong as before, but it was steady and sure. "I don't belong with anyone. And I've had enough of people getting hurt because of me."

Silently, head held high and facing the direction of the sunset, the strange, wild girl walked out of the dump, leaving a confused set of boys and a severely wounded one to face the dark red sky alone.


	8. Red Bra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They try to talk (but get interrupted).

Hijikata had been itching for a cigarette. He thought he had willed all the cravings straight to hell, but the cumulative stress of studying for exams, taking care of the China brat, and Takasugi's return ebbed away at his resolve. He was consuming more and more bottles of Kewbie as a result, but the cells in his body yearned for nicotine instead of the gooey, eggy, rich goodness of mayo.

The only thing that kept him from rushing out to buy a pack of Mayoboro was her. It was late at night, and she had spent a considerable amount of time taking care of her psychopathic younger brother. He watched as she slipped out of Sougo's room and gently slid the door shut.

"That part will definitely bruise, but he'll be able to handle it. I gave him a pain reliever so he'd be able to sleep," she said, placing her first-aid kit on the living room table. She looked at him, and he felt that sense of awe that comes with seeing those ruby red eyes shining at him. "And you say that a stray dog head-butted him out of nowhere?"

"Y—yeah. A big one. A giant bitch." He followed his impulse to look away, worrying that he'll never find the strength to look away if he didn't do it immediately.

Mitsuba sighed. He knew she wasn't fooling her, not one bit. She had also placed bandages around her brother's hands, and not one of those bruises looked like a dog bite. Still, he had to try to keep her away from this huge mess that they walked into again. "And this giant dog… will she bother Sou-chan again?"

"No. I promise. I'll keep a closer watch on that kid from now on."

"All right… Thank you, Toushirou." She said his name in a certain way, as if it were a secret just between them. His heart throbbed a little bit. She had set out tea before them, and she wrapped her delicate fingers around her cup. "… you know, it's strange."

"What is?"

"I've watched over that kid for all these years… even though he's had worse injuries before, he's never made the face that he's making now."

Hijikata exhaled slowly. He knew it was going to end up like this one way or another. It had been obvious from the start that the kid was smitten with that China girl. He'd never seen him give so much attention to other people apart from Mitsuba. He bet that Sougo himself didn't even notice how he was spending each and every afternoon with her, capturing her attention every chance he could get, allowing himself to interact with more and more people outside of his comfort zone in the Shinsengumi, and glaring at those who threatened whatever it was that was going on between them.

The face that Mitsuba was describing was the despair of rejection. A broken heart, if he had allowed himself to use a flowery term. While he felt sorry for the guy, he's more worried about the rampage that will happen once Sougo attempts to get his bearings back. Hijikata predicted many injuries and broken-hearted girls on collars and leashes.

"Did I mention how big of a bitch that dog was?"

Mitsuba giggled and playfully slapped him on the shoulder. "I get it… you men are so secretive it's ridiculous. It's a shame though… It seemed to me that Kagura-chan was fond of him, too."

She figured it out so easily. The woman was too smart for her own good. "They're a rowdy pair. They'd end up killing each other and destroying the entire city on the way to the altar."

A sad smile made its way over Mitsuba's mouth. Softly, so that only the two of them would hear, she spoke. "I wonder… Of course I'm just speaking my mind, Toushirou. You know very well that Sou-chan doesn't, er…. get along with everyone else."

 _Tell me about it. He tells me to die everyday, he puts stuff in my milk that makes me shit, and he would have shot me with a bazooka long ago if he had a launcher. He's the devil incarnate,_ thought Hijikata. He was unable to hide his grimace.

"I take the blame for it. I've spoiled him rotten since we were kids." She laughed—the pleasant sound of it made the multiple lifetimes of Hijikata's sufferings under Sougo's rule melt away in an instant—before continuing. "As a result, as skilled as he was in anything he did, as popular as he was with everyone else in school, he never had any interest or loyalty to anyone except Kondou-san. I've never seen him take anything seriously except if it has anything to do with me and my condition… and truth be told, much as I love that kid, it makes me feel a bit.. ashamed too, and…"

She paused, suddenly marvelling at his calloused hand that automatically wrapped itself over hers. He was looking pointedly away from her gaze—dammit, why was he such a wimp when it came to things like these?—and merely nodded, urging her to continue. She couldn't stop the contented blush spreading over her cheeks, so he supposed it was a good thing.

"… and I don't want him to spend the rest of his life taking care of me, you know?" A pained laugh emerged from her. Hijikata squeezed her hand, and she continued. "So… when he took Kagura-chan home one night—the first friend he brought home apart from you and Kondou-san—imagine my surprise when I saw _that_ kind of face on him…"

"… what kind of face?"

She smiled. "I guess… like he's excited. Like he's enjoying himself. Like he's in the moment. Like… he found something that made him look forward to the next day or next week, even though things get tough… It just… looked familiar to me, too."

She was staring at his face at this time.

"Mitsuba," he said dumbly. His voice sounded so dumb. He was dumb—it was no time to be looking in her eyes. It was a dumb thing to move in closer, to stare at her lips, to close that annoying space that kept them apart, to feel that sweet breath of hers over his face, to-

His eyes widened, and he froze in his spot. Mitsuba froze in place too, the anticipation put uncomfortably on hold. "Did you hear that?"

Not waiting for her to answer, he stood up and rushed to Sougo's room. What greeted him was an empty bed and the draft of the outside air whooshing from the open window.

"… I'm going to kill that bastard."

* * *

The moon hung low over the glow of the light pollution in the Kabuki district. It was sleazy and smelly and noisy, and the air made his skin sticky.

His head felt empty. He was dragged home by Hijikata, while Kondou-san and the rest made sure everything else was all right in that dump and if they can use anything as evidence. He had a tough day. By all means, he should be resting at home, but having that Mayora freak at home making googly eyes at his sister and talking in a soft voice made him sick.

He was uncomfortable. In a huff, he shoved his hands in his hoodie's pockets. He ought to sue the entire country of Taiwan—no, China—no, the entire other planet and solar system where that China girl came from—for making him feel so stupid and empty-headed and confused, for making his brain and the inside of his chest feel like a forgotten Chuubert that's been left out in the sun for too long.

He couldn't pinpoint what he wanted to do. He didn't want to _hurt_ someone, and that made him worry momentarily that he was losing his identity as an S and that he was slowly transforming into an M with feelings, which is the worst kind. He certainly didn't want to go into the sleazy establishments glittering in front of him. The drunken salarymen and women of questionable motives were leering at him, else licking their lips at the prospect of such a young, handsome boy falling into their manicured hands that night.

He avoided them. He found himself at a familiar street—not much lights, not much action. A handful of common folk streamed through the entrance of Snack Otose. Soft rock from the eighties played lazily in the background.

 _Okita Sougo. You are a great, empty-headed, masochistic, soft-hearted idiot for coming here. You should just commit ritual suicide already (but not before Hijikata-san)._ His own admission to his misery came as a surprise to him, too. But it wasn't as cringey as he anticipated.

He looked up at the apartment. The lights were off. She might not be there—she might be staying at Tokugawa's mansion or somewhere else. She might be there, but she might be hiding in the dark, trying to forget the things that happened.

Or worse. She might not be there _anymore_.

The thought of it felt sharp, for some reason. But it didn't matter. He needed to talk to her, but he wouldn't go so far as to imitate Kondou-san's talent for breaking into women's homes where he's unwelcome.

He turned on his heel, and promptly bumped into someone coming from the bar.

"Sorry, customer-san. I—"

It was China, and she was in the middle of speaking like a proper lady. She wore a red, long-sleeved shirt, a bowtie, a high-waisted skirt, a black apron over her front. Like a little girl pretending to be a bartender, but the length of her skirt and the length of her toned, white legs exposed were not of a little girl anymore. Half of her body was soaked, and clear liquid ran down the side of one leg.

The moment she locked eyes with Okita, her polite façade crumbled like an old spicy cracker. She said nothing and began walking towards her home.

"China wait." His hand shot out and captured her arm.

"Okita. Let go." It was the first time she called him by his actual name, and it was unnerving. Much as he hated to admit it, all he wanted at that moment was for her to playfully call him Sadist again.

"No. Not until we talk. What are you doing anyway, working as if nothing happened just today?"

"Nothing happened, Okita. And nothing will happen now. You're getting in the way, yup. Some guy spilled a bottle of whiskey on me and I need to change my uniform." She looked away and downwards the entire time. It was pissing him off.

"Too bad. I'm not going anywhere until you start explaining things to me. And neither are you." Before she could protest, suddenly his hands were around her waist and she was being hoisted up as if she weighed nothing. She gasped as she felt herself being placed horizontally over his shoulders, with one of her arms and legs brought down and held in place by one of his hands across his chest.

"W—what are you doing, idiot?"

"Fireman's carry, stupid. Didn't you pay attention during the safety drills? Anyway, let's go to a nice, quiet, cool place near the main street." She smelled like alcohol and strawberries. It was not unpleasant to carry her around like this save for the fact that she was punching him and kicking him with her free hand and leg.

"There's nothing there but love hotels—"

He patted her rump smugly and kept walking away, ignoring the curious stares of various passers-by who looked away, chalking it up to teenagers' antics.

"Y-y-you pervert! What strange things are you going to do to me! I'll—I'll call the police for harassment!"

"I should call the police on _you,_ you monster girl. They'll arrest you for breaking their future prodigy's heart."

Something changed at the mention of heart breaks. He felt her stop struggling suddenly. He stopped in his tracks. She sighed, and her body went limp. "Fine. You win, Sadist. I guess we can talk at home. Can you put me down, please?"

He smirked victoriously. "Nope. Not risking you running from me like a rabbit. You're pretty good at that." He turned and carried her like that, with her kicking, thrashing and cursing him along the way. The stairs to her apartment were steep and laborious and narrow. China's head bumped into the rails and walls when she thrashed about.

Finally, they were at the door. Kagura was stunned into silence as he lifted her off his shoulder and gently placed her with her feet into the ground in front of him.

Her face was as red as her shirt and her hair. She turned away from him, obviously to keep him from noticing. She took out a key from her skirt's pocket and opened the front door.

The apartment looked livable, but it was as dingy inside as it appeared on the outside. There was a living room with a desk and a pair of old sofas facing each other; a huge, curious sign with the characters for Sugar Content hung up the wall. A collection of souvenir swords (probably bought from class field trips somewhere) were on display. Piles of the weekly Shonen JUMP were messily stacked in random corners of the room and on the sofa.

There were two other rooms there, one for Kagura and one presumably for her old man. Okita leaned against the doorway of Kagura's room with his arms crossed. He looked away as Kagura got dressed.

"What do you want to know anyway, Sadist?" he heard her say through the partially open door.

"Maybe start by telling me why that blonde girl was after you."

She gave an exaggerated and aggravated sigh. "I wish I knew too, Sadist. I thought that it would be a fight over you again, since it was your ex who told me to go to that dump alone. Matako came as a surprise for me, too. It looks like they want me to leave town 'cause I'm a yakuza member or something, uh-huh."

Was Urara that girl from first year who let him put a leash on her for like, a week? He struggled to recall. At least Kagura didn't seem to know that the guys from the dump were connected with Takasugi Shinsuke. "And you're not really Yakuza, are you?"

"Are you stupid, Sadist? I'm not Japanese, nuh-huh. And I haven't been staying here for too long. And you saw that my fingers are all complete, yes?"

"Why face them alone then? I know you're as dumb as a pile of bricks but I'm sure you realized that it was stupid of you to face those bullies alone from the start."

He heard her rustle out of her clothes. He focused on the wooden swords, trying not to imagine anything lewd. "It's no big deal. I can fight them, yup. Plus I heal crazy fast."

"I was going to ask about that too. It took you less than three days to completely recover from five days' worth of beatings."

"It's genetics. Mami and Papi were like that so I was like that too. I can't explain it for myself."

"All right. Still, it's stupid of you to go alone. Kondou-san was insistent on keeping you safe, and you just gave him the cold shoulder."

The sounds of movement ceased for a few seconds before he heard her voice again. "… things happened before, okay? I lost a lot of my friends at my old school because people keep going after me. 'A lot of them got seriously hurt too because of me. 'Cause a lot of stupid kids want to be the strongest, they keep fighting all the strong people in their schools and even other schools, and I was one of them, and I didn't bother to hide it. And it looks like it's happening all over again, and I can't stop it." A weaker, more vulnerable voice answered him.

He looked down on the floor—was it in shame? He remembered the events of three years back. He was one of the stupid kids too, back then. It turned out he wasn't the strongest in any way or any form, because he was one of the few who escaped the incident unscathed."Mind telling me more about those stupid kids?"

"Not now, Sadist. I'm sure that the events before had nothing to do with... with what's happening now." The pause in her statement was telling-she just realized something, and she was most likely lying to him again. But maybe it isn't the right time to probe deeper.

"I hear you. I suppose that's a hard thing to have happened. But you're still a huge pain in the ass to deal with, you know."

Kagura didn't answer.

"You would keep all this stupid shit to yourself, even though your friends and the Shinsengumi were reaching out to you to help you, to protect you. After we get ourselves dragged in the drama, after all the fighting and investigating we did to keep you here with us, you would just give up and run away."

Suddenly the door flew open. The doorknob hit him right where he was kicked hours ago, and he felt the breath stop in his lungs. Next thing he knew, Kagura had her hands on his collar, and he was being pushed up against the wall. She was only in a red, lacy bra and her skirt, but Okita had no time to ogle at this fact.

"You—you have no idea what I've been through. You don't know what I've lost. And you don't know how dangerous it is to be around me. I should be alone so no-one else will be victimized by _them_ … So please…" Her eyes downcast, her face hidden in the shadows of her undone hair, her voice cracked once more.

He felt her grip soften, and he saw small drops of saltwater fall from her face. Her lean arms fell at her sides. Her bare abdomen was flat, the skin over it showing a not-so-pretty mix of purple and maroon and green.

Yet she was there with him. She was a wounded idiot, just like him. No reason for a ditzy, mysterious, infuriating girl like this to be alone.

He probably did it in a drunken daze. He blamed the lacy bra which was half-soaked in alcohol. The vapours emanating from her skin and clothes were probably enough for him to feel heady. Shit. That bra wasn't even a D-cup, which he honestly thought he preferred before that moment. He took off his hoodie, placed it around her shoulders, and held her close to him. He felt her breath over his sore chest, felt her hands curling into fists, her small hands holding onto his shirt.

 _You're mine,_ he remembered himself saying earlier. And he remembered once more that she refused him. She was giving up. His heart felt heavy, but at least he was holding her like this, feeling his hands at the small of her back, and…

A crashing sound interrupted their quiet moment. _Shit,_ he thought. _Could it be her old—_

"So… This fiend forcing himself on my beloved, innocent, virginal, _underage_ teenage daughter to do unspeakable things to her under my _own damn roof…"_

He felt Kagura freeze and break out into a cold sweat in their position. In horror, they simultaneously turned to the owner of that tremulous, sickeningly familiar voice.

Apparently having destroyed his own front door in a blind rage, a familiar silver-permed, dead-fish-eyed older man stared at them from across the room, his face sunken and covered in shadows, his usually dull eyes burning with anger, his glasses displaced and his lollipop falling from his open mouth—this being so loliloliloli-ed that it started a bonfire when it landed on the floor.

"… is a Shinsengumi punk! Seta Soujirou-kun!" He pointed at him with an accusing finger.

"… Sensei. It's Sougo. Okita Sougo."

Kagura yelled in response and pushed Okita so hard that his head collided against the concrete wall and an uncomfortable cracking sound formed between the wall and his skull. She wrapped Okita's hoodie around her, hiding her bruised abdomen, and rushed to her room and closed it with a slam.

That left him to face Ginpachi-sensei alone. At that moment, the man's soul seemed to have left his body, and he was walking in a zombie-like gait towards his wooden swords.

_Shit. This guy won't let me out of here with my balls intact._


	9. Red Melancholy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He listens to Sensei.

Sakata Ginpachi, the usually lethargic, occasionally heroic, old-smelling, definitely Japanese, simple high school teacher… was the non-Japanese Kagura's old man.

As Okita struggled to make sense of it, he watched as said old man stared malevolently at him, who was forced to sit at the sofa across him. He had a wooden _bokuto_ with the characters for _Lake Touya_ etched on the hilt laid across his knees as he sat cross-legged. His hand shook as a new smoking lollipop made its way into his mouth.

"So you're telling me, Souichirou-kun," began Ginpachi-sensei, his tremulousness still prominent over his anxious body, "that you, a teenaged boy in his prime… who was caught red-handed with his grubby paws all over my young, innocently stupid dumb kid clad only in her b-b-bra… was just.. passing by with-with no malicious or scandalous intent whatsoever…?"

" _Hai, sensei."_ He answered plainly. He had his usual poker face on and blankly rubbed the spot on his head that collided with the wall, thanks to Kagura panicking.

"You… my famous Sadistic pupil… whom I trusted to guide my _only daughter_ … did NOT have any plans to do this and that and that other thing… nothing involving paraphernalia of any sorts…? Nothing that will ruin her for _marriage?_ "

"Nothing of that sort, sensei. Besides, no man alive is strong enough to survive marriage with that _thing._ Looks like you'll be stuck with her for life."

"Don't joke around!" Lake Touya fell on the table with a loud _bang._ Okita barely flinched.

"Like I told you, sensei, nothing happened. I find her so unattractive that even if she forced herself on me, nothing would stand up." Of course that was a big, fat lie. Okita knew that if his heart didn't feel like it was pulled out of his thorax by that China girl, put in a blender with 10 servings of mayonnaise and then placed in a dog bowl for a beggar to eat, he would maybe—well, most likely—think about this and that and that other thing and all the paraphernalia in question in the privacy of his room. Hey, he _was_ a teenaged boy in his prime, after all.

"Is that so, Souichirou-kun? Is the image of my daughter in skimpy clothing not good enough for you and your xxxxx tent on those cold mornings when you need to release tension?"

"Uh. What exactly do you want to hear, Sensei?"

"I knew it! How dare you taint my pure daughter's image with your sinful thoughts! I'm going to put this sword so far up your asshole that your long dead ancestor's sphincters will-"

The door to Kagura's room swung open. Thankfully, she was fully dressed when she went out this time, garbed in a red shirt with a mandarin collar and a pair of red pants. She looked like a proper China doll, but a depressed one with slightly swollen eyes and a snotty nose. "Gin-chan. My shift is through so I don't have to go back to the bar. I'm going out."

"It's almost midnight, young lady." Ginpachi looked at her sternly but was obviously too lazy to make any real effort of stopping her.

"I'm hungry and there's no _sukonbu_ left. I got a crazy craving and I'm not gonna sleep 'til I have some."

"Ugh. Fine. I need to buy sweets too. Otou-san will go with you—"

"I'm okay. The convenience store is just round the corner. I'll ask Catherine to come with me. I can buy your strawberry chocolates for you, Gin-chan." Without making eye contact with them, she went out of their small apartment. As the door closed, Ginpachi sighed.

Okita tilted his head at him. "Pardon me for asking, sensei. I heard you were a player back in the day, but how young were you when the Chinese woman you impregnated gave birth to _that_?"

Ginpachi-sensei clicked his tongue. "A father and a dad aren't always the same person, Souichorou-kun. Sometimes an innocent boy will immediately find the inner beer-bellied, khaki-pants wearing, hardware-store shopping, lawn-mowing man that has resided in his heart for a long time once the situation calls for it."

It was a pain sometimes to decode the truth out of Ginpachi-sensei's babble. "So basically her biological dad asked you to take care of her for the meantime."

The older man grunted. "So it is. One day you're reading JUMP while pretending to read essays about your students' summer vacations in Sapporo, and the next day a thick-skinned baldy calling in a favour is asking you to legally adopt his wayward daughter. After that, you're the dad to a broken-hearted teenager, even though you know batshit about taking care of yourself, let alone another human." The smoke continued to stream out of his lolly and his mouth.

Despite his words though, Ginpachi-sensei was smiling. Obviously he held a great amount of affection for that wayward daughter of his. It was like talking to an actual dad. "I've taken care for her for about a year now. It hasn't been easy, but I've grown fond of her. So you better watch it, punk. I'll pummel your ass for real if I find out you did anything to her. After you take _responsibility_ for her."

The way he said _responsibility_ could send shivers down any other young boy's spine, but not him. " _Hai, sensei…_ you don't have to worry. She told me that she isn't going back to Gintama High anymore."

Ginpachi stared at him for some time, his fish eyes unreadable. Did his teacher hear the tiny smidgen of melancholy in his voice? In any case, if he noticed, he chose to ignore it.

After some time, he spoke in a clear voice that was different from his baseline slur. "You know, she didn't want to go to high school at first because she felt like she was a monster who wouldn't fit in anywhere. But what kind of a high school teacher dad would I be if I didn't see to her education? She finally agreed to going to Gintama High since I spent 9 months moaning and groaning that she doesn't get to go to school while a grown ass man like me has to wake up early every weekday to go there."

He paused and closed his eyes, as if remembering the days fondly. "First day of school, she goes there against her will and refuses to list her name as _Sakata Kagura_ and makes promises to spread lewd rumours about us so that I'd get arrested and she could go back to her life just staying at home and reading shoujo manga all day. That afternoon—I'm sure you remember this very well, Sofa-kun—she promises that she won't go back to that dog-ridden school ever again, but she didn't push for the lewd rumours strategy anymore. Said it wasn't classy and no-one would take her as a bride after."

Okita remembered how Kagura skilfully dodged almost all the blows he threw that afternoon, so that the ones that made contact felt so damn satisfying—he felt something warm throb inside his chest, but didn't let this show.

"But as the days went on, she whined less and less. Next thing I knew she was talking about going to a nice café with Tokugawa and Imai, and guarding the gorilla girl from the gorilla stalker, and illegally downloading Otsuu's latest album just to piss Shinpachi off, and plotting to overthrow the student government with Zura. Suddenly she was excited about joining clubs and planning the culture festival and even taking her exams.

"I don't know about you, but that doesn't sound like a monster at all." Ginpachi-sensei leaned back and exhaled loudly. "It sounds like a normal girl who found a place where she belonged. That said, Souichirou—isn't it strange that she doesn't want to go to Gintama High anymore, as you claim?"

His heart felt heavier than he thought possible. Dammit, China should be the one talking to him about this. "Don't look at me, sensei. I'm just relaying what she told me. I honestly don't know what's going on in her head."

"Hm. And you're relaying this to me because you hope I'd change her mind."

He didn't answer.

Ginpachi-sensei sighed again. It was an entirely exasperating conversation, and he mumbled about his blood sugar going down. "Something big happened recently with her and you, I gather."

"… It's better if China told you. All I can say is that I tried to stop her from leaving."

Even though Ginpachi-sensei had the most right to know about the trouble that Kagura got herself into, Okita concluded that it would complicate things if they told him about what happened that afternoon without having proof. For one thing, Kagura wouldn't cooperate. Then there's the issue that Takasugi was likely involved, but it was Ginpachi who fought and brought him back to school in the first place. It would be a messy accusation to do it so prematurely, and Ginpachi might not believe them, and they would lose immediately.

It was a well-known secret in school that back in the day he was a delinquent of legend as well—earning the name _Shiroyasha_ for being the strongest and most demonic of them all. His gut told him that telling him now would only beget more violence, and that would be bad for all the persons involved…

Especially Kagura. As If on cue, the front door opened again, and the girl in question entered the apartment. She was moaning and groaning dramatically, clutching her lower abdomen. "G—gin-chan! This is b-bad! My uterus is sucking my soul out and it's gonna take me with it! Waaaah!"

"What? Didn't you just have _that_ a couple of weeks ago? Should I take you to the hospital?" Ginpachi stood up in worry. Kagura stepped back.

"N-n-no, it's totally normal! This is normal for Taiwanese women, yup… I just need to rest, ow ow ow!"

She sucked at faking it. Okita swore that if she pretended to drop dead there, he'd press his elbow down her neck until she actually passes out. "That's not what I remember from Tsukuyo-sensei's sex ed lecture—" began Okita.

"You weren't paying enough attention in class you cherry boy! Now excuse me!" Kagura rushed to her room, slammed the door, and gave a few more dramatic whimpers before fading into silence.

"Hm. Wonder what brought that on. I guess I need to run and get her meds. Tsk. If ever you become a dad, Yagami-kun, better make sure you don't get daughters." He scratched the back of his head lazily and gestured for them to start walking out of the apartment. He continued on his rant as they started going downstairs. "Really… little girls are so cute, with their big Disney princess eyes and chirpy voices, swindling you for 100 yen for coffee milk after a bath… but when they start bleeding there every month you have no choice but to freak out because suddenly you have to act like mom too, saying _oh honey welcome to the world of womanhood_ even though the only time you've ever bled from down there was when you got drunk one time and…"

Okita stared at him blankly. Ginpachi seems to have just realized that he was talking to the wrong student about this. _I might be giving him ideas for inflicting pain unto others so I have to stop,_ the look on his face said.

"A—anyway. That's neither here nor there. Point is, when they grow boobs, that's when you know it's over. Otou-san has to buy a shotgun to protect her from the evils of the world… but even with all the shotguns in the world stored in your heart, it's never enough to save them from heartbreak." A new stream of smoke flowed like steam from his nose and mouth, effectively shrouding his red eyes.

Okita fell silent. He was sure that Kagura didn't say anything about the bullying to Ginpachi either. Giving all these speeches about fatherhood, he was sure that the aloof teacher was actually at a loss on what to do for her.

They walked in silence until they reached the drug store, after which the silver-permed teacher slurred a goodbye and another reprimand and left Okita alone without a second glance. His back was slouched as always, but it looked like he was more exhausted than usual. A new heaviness invaded each step, and his gaze was focused on his own shadow.

Then again, it was already after midnight. Sensei might just be tired.

* * *

"Where the hell were you, you inconsiderate brat?!"

Hijikata was mad. Fuming mad. He had cornered him as he tried to sneak back home. Okita was being collared against a wall for the second time that evening, but he didn't have the energy to even look like his chest was in pain.

"I jogged," he answered. This earned him a slam against the wall and a barrage of curses for being such an idiot and a liar. "… also I helped a drunk girl out of her clothes and helped a worthless old man with his meds for his ageing prostate. Happy?"

He didn't care anymore. Even though Hijikata was so livid he was about to go into his Demon Mode, Okita remained unfazed. "You—you know how much Mitsuba worried about you when we realised you weren't in your room anymore? She was so anxious, she almost—"

"It's fine though since you were there, right? Because you know exactly how to take care of my sister, don't you, Hijikata-san?"

Hijikata clenched his jaw so hard that he was expecting one of his molars to crack. He forced himself to calm down and set the younger boy down on the floor again. "I don't know what the fuck is wrong with your head, Sadist. But please—for the sake of your sister—don't do anything that will hurt her."

"Rich, coming from you."

The Demon Vice-Commander was breathing in and out rhythmically. He motioned his hands as if he were taking a deep drag from an imaginary cigarette. It was a filthy habit that kept him as sane as he needed to be functional, and now he didn't have that crutch anymore. Okita loved pushing him to the edge like this.

"I get it, okay? You're having a hard time because for the first time in your spoiled life, a girl broke your heart and made you feel like trash instead of the other way around. I don't wanna say you deserved it, Sougo, but—"

"You said it just now, Hijibaka."

"Yeah I did, you little shit. But, you have other things you have to do. Remember your goals." Hijikata tossed him something that glimmered in the dark, and Okita caught it.

It was his smart phone. He didn't even realize that he left it at home. He unlocked his screen, and he was greeted with a selfie of him and Mitsuba at the park. From the mess of missed call notices from Kondou, Hijikata, and Mitsuba, he found a massive amount of unread messages from the Shinsengumi group chat. He was placed back there.

"Sensei texted Kondou-san that you're back in the Shinsengumi. So, welcome back, you bastard. We've got our work cut out for us."

That sealed it. China was definitely not coming to school the next day, even though they had one exam to go. Every time he realized that he wasn't going to see her the next day, it pissed him off more and more. What a waste of time those hours of practice quizzes, insults, and smacks on the head turned out to be…

"Oi. You're spacing out." Okita snapped back to reality. Hijikata's stern face showed concern. "You better come in already. Don't go in with that kind of miserable look. Mitsuba'll worry herself sick over you."

"Die, Hijikata." Without further ado, he left him there and slammed the door shut on him.

* * *

The last day of exams came and went. The seat next to Okita's was glaringly empty; everyone who passed by looked at it in surprise or knowing sadness. Kagura's close friends in class were also quiet—he supposed that they figured out one way or another that she won't be coming back. Despite that, no-one dared ask him or even Ginpachi-sensei, who still called out her name during roll call and was met with silence.

Takasugi, that arrogant bastard, feigned indifference to it all. But just barely. There was a layer of self-satisfaction in the usual sneer he had on his face, and he wasn't afraid for it to show. There was nothing that Okita wanted to do more than to bash that one-eyed freak's head on the table, but Kondou-san ordered him and the rest of the Shinsengumi to stay silent, bide their time, and strategize.

The problem that they faced as the committee is that the person they wanted to defend didn't want to be defended, and the persons that they wanted to report had a witness who will testify against them. If they spoke up at this time, Kagura will only appear like a guilty runaway, and the Shinsengumi plus Katsura will be the ones to suffer the consequences. The mistrust that they faced before will come back with a vengeance, and no-one in the campus will believe in them anymore. And Takasugi will have won.

The Shinsengumi went off to celebrate the end of the exams by instantly holding a meeting about it at Yamazaki's place. All they could figure out was that those who hurt Kagura had different motives apart from jealousy; that their goal was to stop her from coming to school, and nothing else apart from that; that Matako might have been involved from the start (Okita remembered that an angry-looking blonde was there when he first caught Kagura being bullied); that she was in cahoots with that crazy-eyed bastard.

"What's on your mind, Toushi?" asked Kondou. He had just finished placing photos of all the suspects in the case on a corkboard, along with a red string of yarn that he randomly connected in between the photos. (He totally didn't know what he was doing, but he was imitating what cops do on American cop dramas).

"Dragon's Vein is Takasugi's turf. She probably brought Kagura there to let him see… he was probably hiding in the shadows like a cockroach during that incident." Hijikata banged on the corkboard where Takasugi's photo hung, and then promptly fell.

They had zero clue about the motive though.

"We have to be very sure about this, Toushi. There was never any mention of Takasugi at any point. Just because Kijima and those two fellows were involved, doesn't mean that Takasugi ordered them to do it." Kondou picked up Takasugi's photo and carefully placed it at the center of the corkboard.

"What does Katsura have to say about any of this?" That's right—that terrorist wannabe was one of Takasugi's closest allies, but had a falling out when that guy went batshit crazy. Years ago, when Mitsuba got in trouble, Katsura suddenly lent them a hand and led them to where he was.

"… not much. He claims he followed us to help out China-san and to see what Takasugi was up to… but he tells us he doesn't know anything about him anymore." Kondou answered.

"… and you tortured him to get this information?"

"What? Sougo, no!"

"Hmph. I guess I'll have to take care of it, Kondou-san."

"Stop kidding around, brat. We just need more evidence…" muttered Hijikata. "I'm sure we'll find something."

"Until we do, we can't accuse him of anything." The gorilla sighed. They fell silent simultaneously, deep in thought. Nothing was heard apart from the "Zzz's" of Saitou, who already had a balloon of snot rhythmically blowing in and out of his nose.


	10. Red Sauce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet a new challenger.

A bar of sunlight passed through the window, searing the skin of her arm and part of her pure white tummy, now completely healed of bruises. She grunted unappreciatively at the fact that she woke up, it wasn't lunchtime yet, and she had a long day of doing nothing ahead of her.

Was it three days or four days or a week or two weeks since she stopped going to school? Without the comfortable routine she developed (though a lot of it was with the Sadist), she had lost track of the passage of time.

All she knew was that she's out of manga. Apart from an ancient Famicom, there were no video game consoles in their small apartment for her to play with. (Gin-chan refused to buy her an Owee or a TS or the Bintendo Stitch or a PS Zita because he didn't want her to be exposed to violent games, even though all she wanted to do was to play otome games all day long). They didn't have cable, so there was nothing to watch except the news channel, the weather channel, and a vintage channel that showed nothing but action series from the eighties.

She could go to the supermarket or the mall, but after that _thing_ with the Sadist happened, Gin-chan had grounded her. Besides, even if she weren't, she had less than a thousand yen in her purse and going out would mean that she needed to take a shower and she didn't have the energy to do anything as taxing as that today. Maybe she could hang out at Snack Otose and leech off of their wifi…

Feeling more empty-headed than the day before, she shuffled out of the room and was mildly surprised to see the old man contentedly watching the Ketsuno Ana Weather Bonanza in the living room. He looked up from his bowl of Chocolate Coated Sugar Bombs in condensed milk. "Oh. My young NEET is awake."

"Isn't it noon? Don't you have work, you lazy bastard?"

"It's Saturday. And I don't want to hear that from a miserable dropout who has Cheetos in her hair."

She absently picked at her hair. Indeed, a Jalapeno Cheeto was pasted at the side of her head. She popped it in her mouth carelessly and dropped next to Ginpachi. "Make me some cereal too, Gin-chan."

"You have a fully functional pair of legs and arms, don't you? Make some for yourself."

"Urgh… It's too much trouble…" She lay down on the space next to him and continued groaning lazily. "I'll just keep lying down here 'til you make me food. Come on, tou-san. It's child abuse if you don't feed me, yup."

Ginpachi sighed and put his bowl on the coffee table. He pulled Kagura up by her arms and forced her to sit down. "Look, I get how bad an example I must be, but don't you aspire to the level of laziness I've achieved, young lady. You've spent the whole week out of school dicking around and playing video games and reading manga and ignoring your personal hygiene. Let's try to get you to actually take a few more steps than the distance between your room and the refrigerator today."

"I'm recovering, Gin-chan. My broken heart just sapped me of my energy. I thought that I couldn't go on living," she said blankly. As if to emphasize her thought, she started picking her nose until a thin line of blood flowed from her left nostril.

"Hrm. Who was that ass who rejected you again? Hisashi or whatever?"

"Yup. From the calisthenics club. That's him. He's the reason why I can't bring myself to go back to school. But, don't call him an ass, okay? He's a good kid, yup."

"Funny, I can't seem to find a name like that in any of the class lists. Didn't you tell me that guy was in the old hag's homeroom class?"

She made the cutest whining noise that she could muster. "I only said he was there so you wouldn't find him~ it's too embarrassing, Gin-chan! He technically didn't do anything wrong… he felt that he was too unhealthy to have a relationship with me, so he broke my heart early on to save us further heartbreak. It was… a _The Fart In Our Stars_ kind of situation."

"It's _Fault._ " Ginpachi clicked his tongue while scratching his head. Kagura knew that he knew she was just bullshitting him, yet he kept playing along her lie. "You know the first cut is always the deepest and the one that hurts the most, Kagura. So's the first shot of anesthetic they put on your xxxxx during circumcision. But after you wear a skirt for a few days and the swelling goes down, you come out of it stronger and manlier than before."

"Ew. Also, don't talk about gross things like circumcision to me, an innocent young maiden. Yup."

"That's not my point. I just want you to heal your heart and feel better and to come back to school, okay? Whenever you're ready." Ginpachi said this in such a gentle, almost pleading tone that Kagura momentarily felt bad about all of her brazen lies. But what could she do? She wouldn't be able to stand it if Gin-chan knew about how she let those girls hurt her and how her classmates in 3Z stood up for her, but broke the rules and risked expulsion as they did.

_I'm still a weakling after all._

"And… your friends miss you too. Patsuan and Otae, Zura and that duck, and Tokugawa and her bodyguard ask about you all the time. The others…" Ginpachi paused for a bit, mulled over an unknown thought for a while, then let it go. "The other kids miss you too. They don't tell me, but I know. Don't you miss them too?"

No mention of the Shinsengumi. Or of that annoying Sadist who couldn't leave her alone. Kagura thought that being a dad, Gin-chan was still mad at Okita after he caught them in that compromising position. (She was barely able to explain _that_ incident away. Gin-chan spent days ranting about evil sadistic boys who take advantage of broken-hearted stupid girls and how she should never be one of those stupid girls because she'll end up at the wrong end of the leash in a BDSM brothel with him somewhere.)

Those rants went in one ear and out the other. However, thinking about _it_ made her cheeks unjustifiably warm. She was barely able to fight the red from rising up her cheeks.

"Of course I miss them." Damn it, that stupid face with those stupid red eyes and stupid soft looking sandy hair won't go away from her imagination. She blinked rapidly and forced that image out of her head. "But Gin-chan… maybe it's not a bad idea for me to stay at home, yes? Remember, Papi told you that I should be home-schooled instead… he had that long rant about how the educational system is ruining children's lives and all that, yup."

GInpachi made an annoyed grumbling noise. "That Baldy doesn't know the first thing about kids and education. Even though I'm the greatest thing since sweet beans on rice, it ain't good for you to stay in here all day without anyone else to talk to but me." He paused as if remembering something important. "I have a deal for you Kagura. If you really want to be homeschooled instead, you have to agree to my terms."

Kagura nodded seriously. "I'll take it, Gin-chan."

"Listen first." Ginpachi sighed. "Your classmates worked hard for next week's Culture Festival. I want you to be there to support them."

"Oh, they did? What will the class be doing?" She had known that Soyo-chan was hard at work since the month before organizing the event—it was how she ended up in the grubby grasp of the Sadist, after all.

"Janken Pon Tournament." Ginpachi shrugged when Kagura made a face. "It's Souichirou-kun's idea."

Her face scrunched up even more. It surprised her, though, that that uninterested punk Chihuahua was suddenly getting himself involved in class projects. _I wonder what's happening in that twisted head of his._

( _Stupid, stupid Kagura, thinking about his stupid bishonen face again. Wait, who says he's a bishonen, huh?! Get a grip, this ain't no shoujo manga dammit.)_

"There's some modifications to the rules. I don't know why the class is excited, but they're all fired up about it. Anyway, for the entire festival, all the students, faculty, and even visitors are encouraged to go in any costume they like. So I'd like us to go in a father-daughter costume set too. That's part of the deal."

"Gin-chan, that's so cheesy," said Kagura. She couldn't repress her giggle, though. "So if I go there, you won't force me to go back to school anymore?"

Ginpachi shrugged. "If that's what you really want. So… deal?"

That wasn't what she wanted to do, of course. She felt awful that she wasn't in Gintama High. She felt lonely that she wasn't with everyone, planning out the tournament and thinking up of costumes she could wear with the girls and even arguing with the others about things.

But she couldn't bear it if the Sadist-no, if anybody else got hurt because of her again. If she went back as a student, there is no other outcome. If she went back for one day, just one last time as a visitor, and in a nice disguise too, then maybe things wouldn't come to that.

With a straight face, she put out her hand, and Ginpachi shook it.

"Since you agreed to our proposal, I have a present for you. Close your eyes."

"No way. You're just gonna wipe your boogers on my hair again."

"My boogers would be the cleanest thing on your head if I wiped it there, you slob. When was the last time you washed it? I'm serious. Close those baby blues already, god."

He was never a guy who liked giving presents or pleasant surprises, so that in itself was a surprise. With unease very plain on her face, Kagura closed her eyes. Her auditory sense increasing in sensitivity (honed from years of fighting with her biological family), she clearly imagined her foster dad standing up from the couch, walking with a wide stride out of the door (more quickly than his usual lazy gait—as if he was excited about this too). It took him a few moments before he came back, panting (?), with a grunt that meant he was carrying something heavy.

Her nostrils captured a strange, familiar, warm smell. A fuzzy feeling of excitement welled up in her.

"Open your eyes."

She opened them excitedly—her theory was correct. In Ginpachi's arms was a big, round pile of white floof, with huge dark eyes and a big pink tongue. He wagged his tail happily as he looked up at Kagura's smile.

"A puppy! Gin-chan! He's perfect!" She took the dog in her arms and gave it a big hug. He barked happily in response.

"A puppy…? Oi, if this giant thing stood up on its hind legs and ran it could play in the NBA," said Ginpachi. He tried his best to look annoyed, but it was clear that seeing the big spirited smile on Kagura's face for the first time again in a long time brightened him up too. "Granny says we can keep him here, but you have to feed it and bathe it and walk it outside so it could shit and piss and throw up as dogs are bound to do. Capice?"

"Caprice!"

Ginpachi smiled—he was used to her messing up her words that he found this quirk very cute. "Okay. Now go take a shower already. The dog smells better than you."

"Okay~ Come on, Sadaharu, let's use Gin-chan's Vidal Hahoon on you too!"

"Oi, keep away from my Vidal Hahoon, you punk."

* * *

Preparations went by in a blur, and the next thing anyone knew, it was already the day of the festival.

Okita sighed as he stared at himself in the mirror. Mitsuba was behind him and was taking a photo of them for her Instagram. "Aneue, come on, don't post that."

"Why not? You see how handsome you are? The girls at your school are going to swoon and drool over you. Besides, my selfies with you get the most likes." She showed him the photo that she took, which showed him in his ronin costume—a red kimono over a white hakama, a long cream coloured scarf, a fake katana and wakizashi at his side, a wig that made him look like he had longer hair in a high ponytail. It was due in part to the class's agreement to dress as fighters or warriors, and he and the rest of the Shinsengumi decided to wear period Japanese samurai costumes. He didn't look too bad, he supposed.

And later on, when he made it to Gintama High, Mitsuba's prediction about how the girls would react were annoyingly accurate. They swooned and drooled and blushed and squee'd when he gave them his usual fake polite smile. He heard them whisper about how heroic he looked, and _wasn't it nice that he doesn't seem to have that noisy, perpetually hungry Chinese girl around him all the time anymore? Did they break up or something? Single looks so good on him though!_

A quiet annoyance flared up from within his chest.

Section 3Z was preparing for the Janken Pon Tourney when he walked in. As soon as he saw him, Kondou, who was in a massive gorilla suit that suited him well, called him over to ask for help setting up the ring.

"Kondou-san. I thought we were going to be samurai."

"… an accident happened," he answered with a look of pure shame in his face. Hijikata, dressed in a dark soldier's uniform with a trench coat, looked like he was suffering from severe second-hand embarrassment, and this was enough to confirm that it was related to Kondou-san's anal sphincter control problem. "This was the only other costume I had lying around at home. I'm Monkey Kong."

He didn't bother asking why he had the gorilla suit in the first place.

The rest of the class prepared in a rush, setting up booths, small snack stands, arranging seats, placing the teaser posters, and doing each other's' make-up. Later on, Soyo (dressed as Princess Orange from Bintendo's Bash Brothers series) called everyone's attention and told them they would be starting soon.

3Z was not without its fans, and as soon as the doors opened, people flooded in. Dedicated fangirls (mostly for the Shinsengumi and their individual members) and fanboys (of Diamond Perfume, Otae's girlband from the last talent show) had created sign boards and posters and cheering squads and everything.

"We have a huge audience this early in the day! Thank you very much for supporting Class 3Z's first ever Janken Pon Tourney!" Shinpachi, clad in a blue-and-white Luchador costume, shone on stage in all his leather and baby oiled skin. "Let's hear everyone shout! Who do you think is going to win the tournament?!"

The audience shouted all over the place. Okita noted that a bunch of girls who were eyeing him hungrily from the entrance simultaneously screeched "Sougo-kunnn!" the loudest, and this earned him the ire of most of the other guys in the room.

"All right! We encourage everyone to bet on who will be the champion! Winners will have a chance to win these 2000 yen Frontbucks Coffee gift certificates!" Shinpachi proudly flashed the certificates in one hand. "So, without further ado, let the games begin!"

The fights were unexpectedly exciting—even Okita had to admit that. Even though the class decided on the battles at random, they were matched with the best possible challenger. The first match (Kondou as Monkey Kong vs Otae as Sailor Bloom) ended up with Otae successfully giving Kondou a concussion. The next one (Katsura as Super Katsuo versus Kyuubei as Black Tie Mask) ended up with the janken pon hammer not-accidentally falling on Katsura's balls because he kept bringing up the 'best androgynous character' argument with her. A heart-stopping battle between Nobume (dressed as Boa Hancock from One P*ece, much to her fanboys' delight) and Saitou (dressed as the Halfro Samurai) followed next, with the hammer and helmet breaking simultaneously, ending in a draw.

Hijikata and Okita fought next. The boys had a brilliantly entertaining battle—many girls ended up with their faces red from squealing and with their noses bleeding. Okita won and heard from the side that Nobume was going to release her next HijiOki doujinshi next week (much to Hijikata's chagrin).

The only unsatisfactory fight was between Takasugi (dressed in a soldier's uniform with a white headband and metal plate) and Hasegawa (dressed in a really nice magenta kimono with golden butterflies embroidered on them, and an eyepatch and a pipe—no one knew who the heck he was supposed to be). The fight ended in one clean stroke, with the hammer in Takasugi's hand and the helmet barely touching Madao's head, broken in half. The fight went as everyone expected. Takasugi walked out of the ring, earning himself a following of fangirls as he did, and all Hasegawa earned was profanities from Ginpachi-sensei because he lost a bet.

"What a punk," grumbled Hijikata. Takasugi disappeared at the back of the room and, making his disinterest plain, started reading _Les Miserables_ with his feet up a desk. A few girls discreetly took photos of him with their phones.

"All right! Is everyone still fired up?!" Shinpachi was greeted by the audience screaming their lungs out. "Our judges will deliberate on who will move on to the semi-finals." He gestured to a desk, where Soyo, Yamazaki (dressed in a period Japan version of the Prince of Minton outfit), and Ginpachi-sensei (dressed as a 'police chief from Eaglekins,' but he looked like a park ranger). "In the meantime, we'll have the Free Melee! We encourage our audience members at this point to play Janken Pon with any 3Z student of their choice! Those who win against our classmates will earn these discount coupons from the Great Edo Supermarket!"

No-one mentioned the fact that the discount coupon was for a buy one, take one mayonnaise or anpan. Hijikata and Yamazaki were too pissed that the prizes would be given to someone else.

"So… any takers?" Shinpachi stood there awkwardly, sweating in his oil-covered Luchador costume for a while, regarding the suddenly silent audience. No-one would dare challenge the nutjobs of 3Z for fear of their own lives, except maybe a nutjob himself.

Indeed, after a few awkward silent moments, someone raised his hand from behind the classroom. "I'm in!"

Everyone turned to the nutjob who volunteered. Okita guessed that he was probably a visitor. He was in costume, just like most of the attendees of the festival. His head, face, and arms were covered in white bandages, and he was wearing what appeared to be an admiral's outfit, with a long red trenchcoat, a dark suit underneath, and heavy duty boots. Because of the bandages, all that was visible was the blue eyes underneath, which glowed in excitement.

Okita frowned. He had a bad feeling about this.

"We have our first challenger!" Shinpachi walked up to the bandaged guy, who leaped, flipped, and landed neatly at the center of the ring. "Challenger-san! Please tell us your name and where you're from, who you're dressed as, and who you want to challenge!"

"Yeah, okay! Name—I guess my wrestling name could be Bebop K-kun. I'm from a different planet. Um… I'm dressed as a piece of toast. And I wanna challenge that guy over there." He pointed to the far end of the room, where Takasugi barely looked up from his book.

"Wh-what about your real name? T-this isn't wrestling—"

"Huh? Then why are you in a tight body suit? Is this a fetish or something?"

"N-no… our theme was fighters," stammered Shinpachi. "Alright then. Can we please ask Takasugi-kun to—"

"Sorry," interrupted Takasugi. "Hasegawa-kun put up such a tough fight that my hand got sprained. I respectfully refuse this challenge." He waved his hand around, showing how intact it was, before turning back to his book.

"Oh! Then—Bebop K-kun-san, perhaps you can challenge _another_ 3Z student instead of Takasugi-kun?"

The bandaged guy snorted. "Nah. I wanted to fight the strongest guy here. It'd be boring fighting against anyone else." He motioned to leave the stage, leaving Shinpachi stranded.

"We better watch that guy. He doesn't look right in the head," muttered Hijikata. Okita had to agree—there was something _disconcerting_ about those blue eyes…

"If I may suggest something, Bebop-kun…" Again, everyone turned to Takasugi. "If the strongest is who you're looking for, maybe try my friends from the Shinsengumi."

Kondou, Hijikata, and Okita glanced briefly at each other, and then at Takasugi, and then at the bandaged guy. Bebop-kun, with a look of renewed interest in his eyes, started laughing in a boyish way. "So who in the Shinsengumi should I challenge, Takasugi-kun? Which one among them is the strongest?"

Takasugi shrugged in response. In his place, however, a girl from the audience shouted with fervour, "There's no-one as strong as Okita-kun! He could beat your ass!"

"Yeah! That bastard's pretty strong! He chased our Queen Gura-sama out! You better beat _his_ ass, Bebop-kun!" Some ugly nerd from the audience screamed. He was backed up later by some other ugly nerds who were publicly, unabashedly, and shamelessly in-love with Kagura, and something sadistic inside Okita whispered to him to root all those nerds out and beat them up one by one when the festival was over.

The room was soon divided into those cheering for Okita (mostly girls) and those supporting that bandaged guy (mostly jealous guys), and both guys seemed to have no choice but to battle. Okita climbed into the ring and bent forward slightly, prepared to throw either rock-paper-scissors. Bebop mimicked his position, his eyes creased gleefully.

"R-right! I guess our next battle is between Okita-san, 3Z's very own top student and resident sadist, and Bebop K-kun, our mysterious challenger from outer space with a bandage fetish! Everyone, chant with me! Jan! Ken!"

Barely has the audience screamed "Pon!" when both Okita and Bebop threw their hands. The game progressed rapidly after that—Okita acting purely on reflex and what he felt was survival instinct, and that bandaged guy with those unnerving blue eyes matching his speed and accuracy.

Everyone in the room held his breath. "This is amazing, ladies and gentlemen! They're moving so fast that it looks like they simultaneously have a hammer and helmet on! I can't tell who's winning!" cried Shinpachi, in full commentator mode.

Okita saw the moment when their not-so-friendly game turned into a brawl: as that Bebop guy attempted to hit him on the head with a hammer, his other hand shot out to target Okita's head. He dodged this, and the audience barely noticed this at first, but the assault continued. The strikes were strong enough to make a whooshing sound close to his ear each time a bandaged fist aimed for his eyes.

And he knew he shouldn't have, but Okita couldn't keep himself from retaliating, and the wicked excitement in his opponent's eyes grew and grew. His fists attempted to hit that annoying bandaged head of his. At one point, their fists collided with each other head on, and Okita could feel the raw strength through the punch. _He's as strong as me,_ he thought in blank admiration, _but he is too damn irritating._

"Wait a sec—this is beginning to look like a full-on brawl!" announced Shinpachi.

 _Finally you caught on, you human wearing glasses,_ thought Okita, as he received a blow to his shoulder. This time, the bandaged guy didn't bother putting up a farce of playing Janken Pon against him. The blows continued to come down, the next one quicker and stronger than the last, and Okita matched each easily strike per strike—even though he wanted to stop the fight, he had no choice but to keep fighting. If he were hit, he would definitely need to go to the hospital to get surgery for internal haemorrhage.

He barely heard the audience break simultaneously into screams of horror and excitement. Just as a bandaged fist was on its way to the space between his eyes, Okita felt himself being swiped away from the battlefield. At the same time, a silver shadow roughly grabbed his opponent from behind.

His fighting trance broken abruptly, he looked up and saw a gorilla holding him by the shoulders with a worried look on his face.

Across him, Bebop was struggling out of Ginpachi-sensei's iron grip. Barely looking bothered, Ginpachi announced, "Enough of that. I decree that Soy-sauce-kun and Barbecue-sauce-kun are disqualified from the match."

"What? Just as it was getting good? You guys are so uptight!" said the bandage guy in his boyish voice. He broke free from Ginpachi's grip, not without difficulty, and straightened out his costume. "Can I get a rematch?"

"Sorry, Barbecue-kun." Soyo was also inside the ring and placed herself in between the fighters. "We thank you for participating, and we'll give you the discount coupons, but I'm afraid we can't let the likes of you stay here any longer."

He tilted his head to the side, his eyes creased in amusement. "Oh~ the likes of me, huh, Princess? You have any idea what I'm really like underneath these bandages?"

"Not interested in punks like you." Soyo said this with a regal smile on her face. "Thank you for supporting our class's contribution to the festival!"

The audience practically _flinched_ when Soyo coldly replied like that, whispering _wow, I didn't know that Tokugawa-san could be such an ice queen_ and they looked nervously at the guy's reaction. However, he was practically laughing his ass off. "Wow—oh, wow, my heart rate just went up! Am I—am I blushing? So… so this is the famous Tokugawa-san…? I think I'm falling in-love! I'm definitely—definitely coming back for you, yup!" His creased eyes opened sharply, and suddenly he was glaring at everyone else on stage.

Behind Soyo, Nobume stood in attention, and the rest of the Shinsengumi were facing him as well. Just when it seemed like he was about to fight them, he changed his mind and shrugged. "I guess show's over. I'm gonna go check out the other classes. See ya!" Without further ado, he leaped off the ring and landed neatly on his feet. He walked out of the room with both hands in his pockets, as if nothing happened.

Shinpachi then stammered to the audience that they're taking a quick break before the semi-finals will continue. The other students streamed in and out of the room, whispering excitedly to each other how cool/twisted that mystery guy was and how cool/twisted Okita was for being able to match him.

"Geez, you're really a magnet for trouble, aren't you, Sougo?" said Hijikata, tossing him a bottle of Bocari sweat.

Okita effortlessly caught the bottle in one hand and pointed its nozzle to the back of the room. "We owe this one to Takasugi."

He nodded. "Yeah. I've been watching that bandage guy—he kept glancing at that one-eyed freak the entire time. He obviously knows about him before the games started. But Takasugi looks like he's avoiding him at all costs."

"Could be a delinquent from another school who knows about his rep." Okita flashbacked to what Kagura told him about stupid kids who only want to be the strongest, and would keep seeking out the strongest in other schools.

"Hm. Let's hope it's as simple as that."

"Oi. Soy-sauce. You have any idea who that guy was?" They turned simultaneously to Ginpachi-sensei, who ambled up to them lazily. He had a new smoking lollipop in his mouth. "Don't go inviting your other sadist friends to this school, alright? The damage could have been worse."

"I don't make friends with other sadists, teach. I don't like sharing my toys," replied Okita shamelessly.

"You better be sure. I'm letting you off easy now 'cause it looked like you just fought in self-defense, but next time that happens I'm taking you to the principal's office. What is it with these nut jobs in bandages? Looking like you have multiple bodily injuries doesn't make you look cool at all," he mumbled, not without bitterness in his voice. He gave Takasugi a well-meaning side-eye, but this was blatantly ignored.

"Speaking of which, Sensei, what are you supposed to be? Sm*key the Bear? We were supposed to dress like fighters," asked Hijikata.

"I told you, I'm the police chief of Eaglekins. Fighting monsters and other slimy shit from the Upside Down. My costume doesn't make much sense as it is right now, though."

"You usually don't make any sense anyway, sensei."

"And you have nothing but mayonnaise in between your ears." He sighed. "Let's hope she gets here soon so that I don't have to waste my breath explaining my costume to every loser who asks."

"… she?" Hijikata and Okita asked simultaneously. As if on cue, a clamour composed of surprised gasps and excited squeals rose from the other side of the room.

"Kagura-chan! You're back!" As he heard one of his classmates say this, he turned to the doorway.

It felt like it was a scene from a bad teen movie. The crowd parted before her in slow motion. The light from the ceiling inexplicably shone over her. She was in the middle of giving Soyo a tight hug. Her eyes, dusted with dark brown eyeshadow, were closed mid-blink. Her red hair was slicked back with a generous amount of hair wax. Her small body, clothed in a dark coat with tall shoulder pads, a dark shirt, and high-waisted cuffed jeans, turned to his direction slowly, and her striking blue eyes opened slowly and caught his own gaze, and…

She made an ugly face at him and stuck out her tongue.

He raised his middle finger in response, and when Ginpachi-sensei saw this, he earned a smack to the head. "Oi. Treat my dumb kid with respect, you punk."

"Gin-chan!" She ran over to him and showed him a pile of yellow boxes. "Sorry I'm late! I bought a bunch of stuff from the supermarket and I lost track of time, uh-huh!"

"Tsk. 'bout time you got here. Anyway, take a good look at us, you bastards. Do you understand our costumes now?"

The two Shinsengumi boys stared at them blankly. "Um… is this… Sm*key the Bear and an arsonist…?" stammered Hijikata.

"See, Kagura? They don't get it! I told you we should have stuck to B*lma and Tr*nks!" whined Ginpachi.

"Gin-chan, don't mind them, yup. These guys only watch harem anime. They don't know about quality TV like _Weirder Things._ Besides, if you dressed up like B*lma everyone would need eye bleach," said Kagura, chewing on a frozen corndog. "For your information, he's the police chief of Eaglekins and I'm 111. I could like, make you piss your pants with just one look, yup."

It figured that they would go as the magical girl with superpowers and her reluctant adopted dad who fed them constantly with sweets. Okita knew that the costumes fit them well. Heck, China with dark make-up was unexpectedly not gross-looking. But he'll never say that out loud. "I'd piss over you given the chance."

"I'll break your xxxxx if you ever did that to me," she grumbled, however, she was distinctly avoiding his eyes. She turned to her foster dad and pulled his sleeve. "Gin-chan, take me around the festival~ it isn't Soyo-chan's break yet, so she can't come with me."

"Sorry, kiddo. You know that the other damn kids here are all walking time bombs so I can't leave them alone," Ginpachi drawled. "Anyways, I think it's Souichirou-kun's break right now. Ask him."

Kagura reluctantly looked at Okita, and he looked back at her with the blankest expression he could muster, as if challenging her to say something to him. But infuriatingly, she stayed silent. Instead, she looked away and mumbled something that he couldn't hear.

Shinpachi came up to them, all oily and sweaty from his hosting stint. No doubt he sensed the suddenly tense atmosphere in between them. "I can come with you, Kagura-chan. It's Yamazaki-san's turn to host, anyway."

"Yahoo! You better treat me to lots and lots of yakisoba, Patsuan! … ew, you're super slippery!" Without sparing another glance at the rest of them, Kagura took the shiny glasses by the arm and rushed out of the classroom, leaving a trail of slick oil behind.

Ginpachi shrugged and went back to his place at the judges' table. Hijikata patted Okita on the shoulder, as if saying _hang in there, buddy,_ and went over to where Kondou was trying in vain to impress Otae-san.

That left Okita to explore the rest of the festival by himself, trying to shake off the looming feeling of boredom and annoyance bubbling from within him, and purposefully going in the opposite direction of where the Magical Girl and the Glasses Luchador were hopping off gleefully.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes about costumes, even though they're obvious parodies lolz:  
> Okita and Hijikata - dressed as they did in the Be Forever Yorozuya movie. (They're both so panty-droppingly hot in this damn movie that I had to do it sorry. Hijikata should comb his hair more please please please huff huff)  
> Kondou - parody of Donkey Kong; Soyo - parody of Princess Peach; Katsura - parody of Super Mario (as he looked in the Owee Arc)  
> Shinpachi - as a luchador; you can imagine him dressed like Ramses from Nacho Libre if you want  
> Otae - Sailor Moon; Kyuubei - Tuxedo Mask (Although you can kinda guess that Toujou wanted her to dress as Chibi-usa instead)  
> Takasugi - dressed as he did as a Joui faction member  
> Hasegawa - canon Takasugi cosplay :3  
> Nobume - Boa Hancock from One Piece (pants this would really look good on her huff huff)  
> Saitou - Afro Samurai (super uncreative I know sorry)  
> Yamazaki - Prince of Tennis parody  
> Gin and Kagura - Hopper and Eleven from Stranger Things Season 2. (The moment that I saw Hopper eating all those sweets I knew I had to do this.) Almost Bulma and Trunks  
> Bebop/Barbecue-kun (hehe you know who this guy is) - Shishio Makoto from Rurouni Kenshin (or so he claims)


	11. Red Suit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They dance it off.

Shinpachi tried to keep himself calm as the princess finished explaining her so-called fool-proof plan to him. He knew that it wasn't _anything-_ proof—certainly wasn't death-proof, judging by the persons involved in her plan. He told her so, not even fighting the shrill tone that his voice tended to have when he gets stressed out. "Soyo-san, I'm sure that I'd be dead before the dance is over!" he said.

Soyo shook her finger at him. "Not if you do as I say, Shinpachi-kun!"

It was the evening of the festival, and the Dance Club was hosting a Gala Night for the students. They had rushed cleaning up their classroom and went home quickly to dress up in their formal attire. Shinpachi's hand nervously went up to his bow tie as Soyo kept smiling at him, unfazed.

"Even if you say so, Soyo-san, I know how they are, there's like a 90% chance that the gym will get partially to completely destroyed. And _that guy,_ you know he looks like he's close to treating me like he treats Hijikata-san, right? And by that I mean death threats and laxatives and mauling-"

Soyo laughed, interrupting the _megane_ 's rant. "Maybe. But this is the only way, Shinpachi-kun. I can take responsibility for property damage if it comes to that," she said sweetly. The way she looked in her white ball gown befitting an actual Disney Princess made Shinpachi feel like a peasant. "Anyway, if it doesn't work, at least you'll be able to help Kagura-chan not feel left out, right?"

"I—I guess…" His next statement was interrupted by Nobume suddenly appearing behind Soyo. She was also in a white floor-length gown, which hugged her curves rather nicely, and a white synthetic fur coat. Shinpachi felt dowdier in his suit—his coat felt too large for him, suddenly.

"Let's go," said Nobume simply, and she and the princess went inside the gymnasium. Shinpachi nervously looked around, hoping that he would be able to smoothly come inside the dance with his own date before anyone else saw.

His date of course, was the transfer student of 3Z, now drop-out of 3Z, Sakata Kagura. Earlier that day, after the Janken Pon Tourney ended with Okita being disqualified for the rest of the match and his older sister bagging the championship, Gin-san cornered him and asked him to bring his only daughter for a date. The perm-head insisted that Shinpachi was the only sane and decent boy in 3Z and he would entrust Kagura with nobody else. However, the fact that he was told to keep her away from lechers, perverts, sadists (extra emphasis on this one), masochists, aliens, time-travelers, and espers and all that suggested that Shinpachi was basically being asked to babysit her.

Speak of the devil—a scooter slowly putted its way to the outside of the gymnasium. Next to it, a giant white dog was jogging happily without a leash. It stopped in front of him, and down went a small girl in a shiny, red cocktail dress that showed off her pale shoulders and collarbones and back. She took her helmet off, and down went her shiny vermillion hair, barely even creased. She still had buns at the side of her head. She waved at Shinpachi and said something to Ginpachi-sensei, who nodded and went off to park the scooter somewhere.

She was _super cute,_ Shinpachi acknowledged, cute enough that if he wasn't so faithful to Otsuu-chan and didn't know her personally, he would feel his breath catch at his throat and he'd stalk her in the party all night long. But he knew all about her and her potty mouth and her insane strength, which was endearing, to be sure, but not really good for a normal young boy and his self-esteem.

"Yo! Glasses! Didn't they have your size in the rental shop or something?" asked Kagura. "I thought you were planning to look extra nice 'cos the Dance Club got Otsuu-chan to perform for us."

"Don't be mean, Kagura-chan," said Shinpachi, the feeling of gloom and uneasiness forming in the pit of his stomach. It was the night he's been preparing for all his life. In his fantasies, he would walk up the stage in the middle of Otsuu-chan performing _Your Mother Is An XX,_ and he would lift her by the waist and dance with her all night in the dance floor and maybe ask her to marry him or something.

But now that Gin-san and Soyo both gave him a handful of extra things to do, that magical dance with Otsuu-chan likely isn't going to happen. Now his priority was keeping himself alive and with his self-esteem and glasses and balls intact after the night was over. Trying not to show his nervousness, he said, "I'm still going to get that autograph and selfie no matter what, so you better not ruin this for me."

"I'm gonna go full-on wingman mode for you, Patsuan, so don't worry. I read the Bro Code and everything. Oh, by the way, this is Sadaharu. He's a chick magnet. He's gonna help you get the girl, too!"

The dog barked as if to say hi. Sadaharu wore a collar with a big red bowtie. It was cuter beyond words, even when he managed to get Shinpachi's entire head in his mouth.

"K—kagura-chan—he just chewed through my scalp—is this normal? Is he performing neurosurgery on me with his mouth?!"

"Don't be silly, glasses! He's just saying hi, uh-huh! Anyway dude, come on, we're wasting time!" Kagura gave him a big grin and dragged him by the arm inside the gymnasium. Sadaharu padded behind them.

The gym was already three-quarters full with the students of Gintama High dressed to the nines. The students of 3Z all looked like they were celebrities (… maybe except Hasegawa-san—what's with the cardboard tuxedo?), and it only served to make Shinpachi feel even more inadequate.

He went with Kagura to joke around with Aneue _,_ and later on they helped themselves to the pizza rolls and sandwiches laid out on the snack table. As expected, a bunch of girls flocked around Sadaharu and pointedly ignored the human-wearing glasses (… _wait, no),_ the glasses-wearing human.

From the corner of his eye, he also saw Soyo speaking with Hijikata and a polite, but aloof looking Okita. Glancing at Kagura, he saw that she was blatantly ignoring this other scene. He sighed in apprehension.

"Gintama High! You are looking beautiful tonight!" announced the class president of the dance club. "We have an exciting night waiting for you tonight, with Japan's favourite idol Otsuu-chan set to make an appearance later! But for now, let's warm up with a few mixes courtesy of DJ Ozura!"

"It's not DJ Ozura, it's Katsura!" yelled DJ Ozura. Elizabeth was behind him, hyping him up with sign boards and in eerie silence. Nevertheless, he laid out a smooth jam, and it wasn't long before the students went to the dance floor in twos.

"Wow, look at that, Patsuan," said Kagura, regarding the couples on the floor. Among the other people from the other classes, the 3Z students really stood out. Otae and a red-faced Kyuubei danced together, with the gorilla stalker failing to cut in and that obsessive blond guardian of Kyuubei's hanging around and taking a video. His fellow jimi Yamazaki managed to take the cyborg Tama-san for a dance, and the unmistakable sound of bones breaking underneath metal was heard every time she accidentally stepped on his feet. Shimaru-san and Nobume-san somehow silently agreed to dance together, but were doing so at such an insane speed that the other students dodged out of their way to avoid being run over. Sa-chan-san was at the corner of the gymnasium, begging for a dance with Ginpachi-sensei, but was kept away with a hand to her blushing, excited face as a response.

And Soyo-chan, under the jealous but grudgingly respectful gazes of the other girls, was being led by the hand to the dance floor by none other than Okita Sougo.

Shinpachi turned to Kagura, who was intently watching the floor. Her facial expression was unreadable, but that may be because the lights were so dim. He nudged her and offered his hand.

"Kagura-chan. Wanna dance?"

* * *

Kagura broke out of her daze and dumbly looked at Shinpachi's hand. "Huh? Whaddaya mean, dance? Do you even know how to dance, Shinpachi? I've seen you try to bust a move when you put your Otsuu-chan records on full blast, yup."

Shinpachi gave her an annoyed look. "You're so mean! Anyway, it's a slow dance. We just need to step side to side."

"Hm. Pass. I'll wait for Zura to play some Ill Smith so I can breakdance," she said. In truth, seeing her best friend dancing with that poker-faced punk Chihuahua made her lose interest in the dance floor, and she couldn't figure out why. She knew that Soyo was close to the boys of the Shinsengumi for a long time now, and she knew Okita as early as middle school, so they must be close friends, right? And this must be something that close friends do, without anything in between them, right? And even if there was _something there,_ she shouldn't care at all about it, right?

So why was it that even though they looked good together, like a high-class royal couple and everything… why was it so wrong to the eyes?

"But Kagura-chan, this is a nice song," stammered Shinpachi, strangely insistent. "And it looks like they're having fun? See?" He pointed to the direction to where the Gorilla was being pummelled to the ground by Anego. Shinpachi faltered at this and adjusted his glasses. "Um, also, I promised Gin-san that you'd have a good time tonight, so…"

Upon the mention of Gin-chan, Kagura glanced to where he was standing with the other chaperones. He was speaking to Tsukuyo-sensei, who was discreetly smoking a cigarette. They were both sipping punch. They both caught her looking at them, after which they gave her a cheery wave of the hand.

From her side, she felt a cold, damp nose nudging her to the dance floor. Sadaharu looked up at her with his tongue out and his mouth in a big, toothy smile.

"… fine, Megane. But if you step on my feet, I'm beating you up, yup."

Shinpachi helped her up from the bleachers and led her by the hand to the dance floor. He positioned one hand to her waist, let her put her hand on her shoulder, and put his other clammy hand held hers. Without another word, they started dancing slowly.

Even though it was awkward, Shinpachi didn't dare step on her feet. The lights in the room swirled round and round, and the deep bass of the slow song throbbed through her chest. She looked up at Shinpachi's face, and she saw that he looked out of it, and was looking over her shoulder and over his shoulder and up the ceiling and in the direction of the bathroom.

"Oi, Shinpachi. Do you need to go to the bathroom or something?" she asked in annoyance. At that moment, DJ Ozura let the song fade out, to be replaced by a more upbeat song.

"Oh! No. Yes. Maybe. My bladder is at the edge of explosion," Shinpachi said. The sweat on his brow was obvious now, and he seemingly signalled to someone behind her.

Before she could say anything, Shinpachi's hand clamped onto her shoulders, and he whispered urgently "I'msorrythisisn'tmyideayoucankillmelater", turned her around, and tossed her away from him…

… and into someone else's arms. The strength of the toss would have sent her careening into the ground, but the one in the red suit had his strong arms instantly wrapped around her and restored her balance.

To her horror, she looked up and peered into the equally surprised red eyes of none other than Okita Sougo.

She gave a death glare to Shinpachi, who was standing beside a triumphant looking Soyo. "She's all yours, Okita-san! Please don't kill me!" he shrieked for the last time before running off with the princess.

 _I'm gonna crush his glasses, then his spleen, then I'll give him cataracts so he'll never see out of his glasses again, that stupid megane!_ she thought in rage. What were those two planning? She agreed to this stupid dance in the first place because she was supposed to have a nice, benign time with her best friends and with Shinpachi, the legendary number 8, where nothing ever happens! Now that she's back in the arms of the one guy she was avoiding the entire day, the calm that she had transformed into something warm and unpleasant, like gas, but more labile and unpredictable.

"Tsk. I knew something was up when the princess asked me to dance outta nowhere," said Okita in his usual cold voice. He blinked at her with a slightly perturbed look in his eyes. "… you okay?"

Kagura felt she was malfunctioning. She bet it had something to do with the Sadist's body spray. Did he use Mace or something? Was it laced with drugs? She kept sniffing it and sniffing it and it wasn't unpleasant and she couldn't stop herself. And maybe as a result of it, her body was frozen in place, and she had nothing to say.

"Hm. I've never seen your face so red before. I know I look good in a suit, China. This is seriously giving me an ego boost," he said with a smug, evil look. It was enough to snap her back to her senses.

"A fugly dog in a suit is still a fugly dog, yup. Lemme go, Sadist!" She finally managed to stand up on her own two feet, but wasn't able to free herself from Okita's almost-embrace. The song got everybody else jumping around them, and soon the energetic crowd was shoving both of them in multiple directions. He almost looked like he was shielding her away from the others.

"Tsk. We won't be able to walk out of here at this rate," said Okita, his hands firmly grasping the bare skin on her arms. She marvelled at how rough his fingertips were, and how close he's holding her, and how _pleasantly_ different his face was up close. That perfume of his invaded her nostrils again, and an unfamiliar heady feeling took over her brain.

He was saying something to her again, and his red eyes centred in on her blue ones so intensely that she felt like hypnosis laser beams were shooting out of them. She wished she had her swirly eyed glasses again. When it was apparent that she couldn't hear him over the ruckus, he pulled her closer so he could speak directly in her ear.

"We got no choice. I gotta javelin-throw you off of the dance floor."

"What?! Don't you dare—" she began, but she felt his hands move from her arms down to her waist. Within seconds, she was being lifted high off of the ground with just one strong arm. She had a bird's eye view of the dance floor and everybody else's awe-stricken faces.

Before Okita could position himself to toss her away like a fuckin' javelin as he promised, someone screamed, "Aaah! They're recreating that sexy dance from Dirty Dancing! HOW ROMANTIC!"

"What the fuck do you mean, you bastard?!" To her horror, the other students cheered and made a circle around them, effectively blocking their path. The bass line of the song thrummed in her chest louder and louder, and she felt like it was about to explode. Okita, without missing a beat, put her down on the floor, grabbed her small body and leaned her back so far down that the top of her head almost touched the floor.

"… looks like we gotta dance this one off, China-girl," he said, his face uncomfortably close to hers, with that dashing—no, evil, _evil, evil and fugly—_ smile of his.

She had an idea of how his body moved from those fights they had on the day they first met, and she was surprised that her body remembered _him._ He swung and maneuvered her round and round, and her hands and hips and legs automatically knew where they were supposed to be, which was at times too close for comfort. In some moments of the dance, she stomped her feet and kicked her legs way up high, but always missed him. And smoothly he made these parts of their dance, simultaneously stunning and enchanting the crowd that was watching them.

 _Wo ai ni… Chodai?... do you love me? Oh baby, love me too._ The song ended, and she found herself face to face with her fiercest rival. They were both panting heavily, and just as the trance state they found themselves in got deeper, the cheering of the audience snapped them out of it.

She looked down and instantly blushed again. Shit. Her heart was going so fast. That can't be from just dancing.

"Tsk… this isn't good," she heard Okita mumble in front of her. "The old man's livid."

"Oh shit. Gin-chan," she said. She looked up at her dad, and _livid_ wasn't the correct term in this case. His face was contorted into a serial killer's smile, and his eyes were practically fireballs and he was breathing fire and asphalt and he looked like he was growing horns and losing his hair and turning into a baldy shit he was so mad.

"But we're lucky. Looks like someone spiked the punch." True enough, the only thing holding the silver perm back was Tsukuyo-sensei, who was wasted beyond belief and had her elbow around his neck. She was determined to do other, possibly x-rated things with him it seemed, and she successfully dragged him kicking and screaming to the back of the gymnasium.

Kagura put a palm to her face as she watched this happening. "Sadist… he's going to disembowel you, yup. Then he's going to kill Glasses. Then he's going to ground me for life, uh-huh."

"Geez. This was bound to happen sooner or later anyway." Another slow song played, and the other kids broke off into couples and started dancing again.

Kagura felt a warm hand enclose around hers, and she looked up at him. He had a blank look of enlightenment on his face. "… anyway. I'd rather not get disemboweled tonight, so let's make a run for it."

Without warning, he ran off, dragging her with him. When she wouldn't make a run for it, he lifted her off in his arms in a princess carry against her wishes and ran out of the gymnasium, as if his life depended on it. Somewhere along the way, she heard the horrified yell of the Mayora and Glasses, the happy bark of her dog, the squeals of a bunch of girls, and other yells of either cheering or protest.

As she allowed herself to be carried off from one floor to the next, the voices faded, and it was just the two of them. At the end of the stairway, Sougo opened up the door, and a quiet, starry night greeted them.

"We should be safe here, China." He carried her out onto that rooftop, a new type of calm and quiet entering her reluctant and turbulent heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song in question is Wo Ai Ni by Hitomi Takahashi + Beat Crusaders. I know it ain't recent but I've always thought of it as an Okikagu song maybe cos of how the official music video looked


	12. Red-Faced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They try to talk and get interrupted (again).

He didn't know what he was thinking. He couldn't blame the spiked punch, since he didn't have a sip of it before he went and carried China-girl out of the gymnasium as if they were on a honeymoon.

All he knew was that he was probably going crazy. Seeing her in that red dress, with her pale arms and legs exposed, and her wild vermilion hair falling down her partially exposed back drove him crazy. Seeing her avoiding him all night, clinging to that Glasses Stand and then dancing with that nerd and then barely acknowledging his presence drove him crazy. The way she felt when said Glasses Stand suddenly tossed her to him, the smell of strawberries in her hair, and the glow of her blue eyes under the lights, the flush of her face as she danced, the feel of her small waist in between his hands…

Well, you get the point. She was still driving him crazy 'cause she decided to break the silence by whining that it was cold up on the rooftop. He put her coat around her shoulders and she looked so damn good in it. There was a weird feeling of possessiveness in seeing her wearing his clothes.

Another silence followed after that, and they regarded each other awkwardly for a while. Kagura fumbled with one of the buttons of his coat, her mouth opening and closing like a confused fish. Maybe she wanted to ask where the heck he learned how to dance like that, or why he decided to dance with her anyway, or why was he giving all those death glares to Glasses (but he was sure that she never noticed that). Maybe she was about to say sorry for ignoring him the whole day and was struggling to explain things to him. The things that she wanted to say never made their way to the surface, though, and a new type of shyness emerged—something that he never thought was possible with the usually brutish China girl that he knew.

Finally, she mustered up enough of something to break the silence. "So this is your secret spot, Sadist?" she asked. She looked up at the sky, and the stars shone in her blue eyes.

He looked away before she noticed him staring. "Yep. This is where I go when I need to think. Students aren't allowed here so no-one thinks to go here, but they never lock the door, so…"

"I wish I knew about this spot too. It's pretty nice up here." She allowed herself to take in the view, and she visibly relaxed. She had a huge smile on her face. It relieved him that for once she didn't have that usual grumpy scowl on her face, as cute as it usually was.

"This is a one-time event only, China. After tonight, I'll chase you out of here if I see you sneaking around."

"Try and catch me then, Sadist," she said, with a teasing smile on her face. She playfully threw a punch at him, and he caught her fist in one hand.

He held her hand like that for a while, just staring at it silently. His fingers subtly found her pulse, and he felt it quicken under his grasp. When he looked up at her, her cheeks were a very enticing shade of pink.

"Pink, like an ugly li'l pig," he teased.

"Butt ugly, like a fugly dog," she retorted. She attempted to pull her fist back, but he didn't let go. The other fist came flying at his face, and he caught it with his other hand.

Now, both of her hands were in his, and his eyes centred on hers dead on. She had no choice but to return his gaze, her blue eyes full of wonder.

"Are you really not coming back, Kagura?" he heard himself ask, his voice uncharacteristically soft.

Her eyes widened slightly, hearing him speak her name for the first time. She looked down on the ground, the redness on her face not going away. "I… I don't know…"

"You don't?" His face moved closer to hers.

"N-no."

He hummed and moved closer, a sadistic smile making its way over his mouth. Her face was the colour of her dress now.

"Y-you got hurt, you idiot."

"Since when did you care so much about me, Ka-gu-ra?" Her name rolled off his tongue playfully, and it made her visibly shiver. His face was so close, their noses were almost touching. It was garnering more and more interesting shades of red over her face.

She was trying her best to look at any other place except his eyes, much like a _tsundere_ main character who's caught in a shitty, cheesy situation with the main male lead character of said shitty shoujo anime. Shit, if it wasn't cute. "S-Sougo, you stupid—"

The sound of his name escaping from her mouth probably did it. Whatever she was saying was lost in between as the space between them closed up and their lips made contact for the first time. Nervously, as his hands made their way to cup her face, he felt her hands reach up around his neck to draw him closer.

Neither of them knew how long that moment lasted. When the kiss broke, he opened his eyes and instantly got lost in the deep blue shine of the stars in her eyes. _Shit. I'm done for._

No use denying it now. He was head over heels in love with the China girl.

And no matter where she goes or what she does, that feeling with remain in him. He will never have the words to say that, though, and reluctantly, he held her a little bit farther away from him.

"Sougo," she said in a daze. She was confused too. He wondered whether she was offended or surprised at her own actions. She looked down on the ground again and avoided his gaze.

They sat down on the ground simultaneously, their backs against a wall, their faces to the sky. The lights below looked like distant diamonds. For a while, they only heard the muffled music coming from the gymnasium. "I… I don't know what to do, to be honest."

"I know."

"I like going to Gintama High, but… things are just so complicated, you know?" She sighed and let her head fall on his shoulder.

"When you're ready to tell me what's going on, I'll be here," he said in that rare, sincere tone he usually reserved for Mitsuba only, "but only when you're ready."

"Okay."

"And maybe then, you can give me your answer too."

She pulled her head back and frowned at him. "Huh? An answer to what?" she asked.

"I confessed to you, didn't I?"

"When did you do that, huh?"

"When I told you that you were mine."

"That's not a confession, you idiot. If anything, you were acting like a brat whose favourite plaything was being taken away, yup."

He shrugged. Maybe she _was_ his favourite plaything. That wasn't inaccurate. "That's probably the best that you're getting out of me, China-doll."

"You really are insane, you know that? Yup." She said this in annoyance. She failed to hide the fondness in her voice, however. "After I do you a favour and give you your first real kiss. Cherry boy."

"… sure. You're my first kiss," he said nonchalantly. He suddenly felt her hands enclose around his neck, and felt her gnashing her jaws against his head. He heard her speak something rapidly in Mandarin, and he knew that she was _insanely jealous_ of the other girls he dated before, and he knew that it was only a matter of time before she admitted that she was in-love with him too.

 _'In-love?' Who knew you could use terms like that, Sougo? You fucker._ When she finished gnawing him out, he held both of her hands in front of her and kissed her again. The tension in her muscles suddenly went away, and a soft moan escaped her lips. Her mouth tasted like sugar and salt, and her lips were soft and warm, and her hot breath and her strawberry scent was addicting. Suddenly, he couldn't help himself, and he was holding her closer than ever before, and he was putting his tongue in her open mouth, and her hands found their way into his hair. His hands were moving automatically, exploring the exposed parts of her skin, and restlessly his mouth wanted to explore the skin of her neck too. But just as he was getting to it—

The door to the rooftop opened with a _bang,_ and it took less than a second for Kagura to break their kiss and to push Okita away, causing him to smack his head against the wall. Rubbing his head, he turned to look at the intruder, determined to destroy whoever it was that ruined their moment.

The sneer of Takasugi Shinsuke greeted him. He had his sports jacket off and tossed over his shoulder. Kijima, clad in a hot pink gown, had her arm hooked around his, and she glared at the two of them. Bansai and Takechi were close behind, regarding them with blank stares.

"Hm. Sorry to disturb you while you're eating your girlfriend's face, Okita-kun," he said. "I know you're excited to finally lose your virginity, but I advise you to do it in a less public space."

Okita clicked his tongue and stood up, assisting the embarrassed Kagura as he did so. "Did you follow us up here on purpose, you pervert?" His whole body tensed on instinct, and he automatically hid Kagura from Takasugi's stare.

Yet, he didn't falter. "No. You aren't supposed to be here. And you, Red Girl. I thought Matako-san kindly asked you to leave Gintama High."

"And why would I do what that bitch tells me to do anyway?" shouted Kagura. "What the hell is your problem with me, you yankee scum?"

"You're the last person I wanted to see here. Keep your voice down." Uncharacteristically, Takasugi turned away from them, apparently uninterested in a fight. He let go of Matako's arm and lit a cigarette. "If you know what's good for you, you guys better leave now."

"What are you talking about—"

"You better listen to Takasugi-san, Okita-san, else I would have broken my arm for nothing. Sigh. I don't know how long my jealous heart could take this," said the Lolicon, his arm in a sling and his dark eyes barely breaking contact from Kagura's figure.

"I'm sorry, Shinsuke-sama. It seems I failed, after all," said Matako, in an uncharacteristic low, shameful voice. Takasugi merely waved his hand and stared at the edge of the building.

"Let it be known to all persons on this rooftop that the _Kiheitai_ did all it could to keep this encounter from happening," the one-eyed delinquent said cryptically. Okita and Kagura looked at each other nervously, and then looked back at the unmoving Takasugi.

"You know, Red Girl… I know that the rumours about you being Yakuza aren't true. But the _Triads…_ now that's a different animal altogether." He looked up at them and regarded the way Kagura suddenly froze in her place. "… so you guys still aren't leaving?" He asked once more, his voice strong and even.

A feeling of pure dread hit Okita's gut, and he knew that this was the one time they had to do what Takasugi told them. He grabbed Kagura's arm in an attempt to make her move, but she remained frozen, her eyes glued to the edge of the building, where a black shadow was making its way up the protective wire fence. Her eyes widened in horror.

"Shinsuke-dono. It's time, I daresay," said Bansai, tossing a shinai in Takasugi's direction. He caught this in one hand and stared out at the shadow.

"Red Girl, you aren't leaving? You're sticking with this Shinsengumi dog? How sure are you that he can protect you once the shit hits the fan? As it will, right about now?"

The shadow effortlessly leaped onto the rooftop. Under the dim light from the buildings below, Okita was able to make out a human figure clad in all black, his face and arms wrapped in bandages, a long, vermilion braid flowing with the wind. A strange, comically large parasol was strapped to his back.

"Takasugi-san, I thought that this will be a private party~ since we're planning to fight to the death and all." The boyish voice that greeted them was sickeningly familiar. His eyes were creased, and as they fell on Okita and Kagura, they widened, revealing crazed blue eyes. "And weaklings, at that? You insult me, Takasugi-san!"

"A… Aniki," whispered Kagura in an uncharacteristic shaky voice. Okita felt her small figure trembling behind him, and for the first time since they met, saw her truly afraid.

Takasugi clicked his tongue and stepped closer to the bandaged guy. "Pay them no heed, my friend. They're merely unwanted guests. You've been asking me for a fight for god knows how long, and a fight with me—and only me—you shall have."

The red-haired shadow laughed long and hard until he was out of breath. The other members of the Kiheitai even found it unnerving. "No, no, no, Takasugi-kun. Shit. I was looking forward to our fight for a fucking long time, but this?" He lifted the umbrella strapped to his back and pointed the end of it threateningly at Okita and Kagura—he saw then that it was probably a modified gun from how the end of it looked. "This changes the game completely, Takasugi-kun. Did you—did you hide her from me on purpose, my guy? Or are you showing her off to me, telling me _I've had her all along, bitch?_ That kinda thing, huh?" His voice was frenetic and crazed, and his eyes darted from one direction to the other.

"Hmph. Why would I even bother to do any of that?" The delinquent's cold, unnaturally calm voice contrasted greatly with the intruder's. A gust of smoke flowed out of Takasugi's nostrils, hiding his facial expression.

The guy laughed again. "I don't know, maybe 'cause _everyone_ knows I've been looking for this idiot for a long, long, long time already." He moved quickly, and the next second he was already in front of Okita, with the scared Kagura standing behind him. Slowly, he peeled off the bandages from his face, revealing a cold, psychopathic, male version of Kagura's face. "Ain't that right… sister dear?"

The way he said _sister_ was so full of hatred and vitriol that Okita almost flinched. Even though he knew China was kind of crazy, this psychopath who was claiming to be her brother had a face of the criminally insane. "Oi. Stop kidding around, fuck-face. Obviously, China doesn't want anything to do with you. And it looks like the one-eyed bastard over there is close to throwing a tantrum since you've been ignoring him for too long."

"Say, I know you too, you dog! Aren't you that punk bitch who I almost beat up before your homeroom teacher guarded you like a baby?" He laughed out loud, a sharpened fang from his mouth glimmering under the moonlight. "I can play with you too if you like, dog, but maybe after you shape up. Now kindly step aside so we can iron out some… _urgent_ family matters."

"There's nothing to talk about, idiot older brother! Leave me alone!" yelled Kagura.

The guy feigned hurt. "That hurts me, Kagura-chan. You don't want to play with Kamui nii-san anymore? After I spent all those years protecting your ass from being beat up, this is how you treat me? After I took over the Harusame, when that Baldy-"

"You're the worst out of all of them, you idiot! Now go away!"

As soon as the words flew out of Kagura's mouth, the dangerous guy called Kamui lunged for her without warning. Okita felt his body move by itself, and instantly his foot went across the redhead's face.

Barely flinching as he rubbed the point of impact on his face, Kamui laughed excitedly, the frenzied energy from before rising to the point of actual electricity. "So you wanna play now dog? Have you been _enjoying that weakling's company_ that much?... well, Onii-san isn't allowing anyone to ever date that weakling, ever!" Within the next second, a barrage of fists and kicks went Okita's way. He matched his speed and strength, but not as easily earlier that day during Janken Pon.

"Hmph. If you're whining about weakness, it might be a genetic problem, you fucking siscon," he said with a confident smirk. A feeling of excitement inexplicably rose inside him—he finally found his match. His fist collided with his opponent's, and he felt the bones and tendons underneath his bandages strain under the force of his punch.

"Not bad, dude. But let's see you handle this." The umbrella from Kamui's back came down over his head, and he barely dodged it. The part of the floor that collided with it shattered into pieces of broken tile.

Barely a moment has passed when the umbrella aimed for him again, and all he could do was to jump away from it. He heard the _click_ of the safety being switched off. He cursed out loud when he saw a red blur making its way at Kamui's back. "Idiot! Don't—"

"BASTAAARD!" Kagura had kicked off her heels and leaped high enough to kick the back of Kamui's head, causing the umbrella to drop to the ground. The kick didn't hit him squarely, and to Okita's dismay it took him less than a second to turn around and go on full-on berserker mode against his little sister. They moved so quickly that all anybody else saw were black, red, and white blurs spinning around and breaking more floor tiles.

There was something wrong with the way both of them fought—it felt like all the limits were off, it felt like nothing fuelled the fight but unfiltered killing intent. Okita helplessly watched the display of raw strength and power and bloodlust displayed in front of him. When he moved to try to attack Kamui again, a shinai blocked his path.

With smoke coming out of his nostrils, Takasugi said, "This isn't for a Shinsengumi dog to be involved in."

The next moment happened very quickly. Kamui, his pale face now flushed with excitement and killing intent, had finally overpowered Kagura, and had straddled her, aiming to hit her on her face. Takasugi rushed in, aiming to pierce Kamui's head with the end of the shinai. Right before the fist or the wooden sword made contact with any of their targets, the loud _bang_ of the door and the fierce snarl of a dog stopped them in their tracks.

"You rule-breaking bastards. Students aren't allowed here," came the low, dangerous drawl of a tall figure permeating a bright silver aura.

While he was livid before, Okita now had no words to describe the pure rage that emanated from Ginpachi-sensei. There was nothing lazy or ridiculous about his appearance then. His suit was rumpled and torn at some areas, as if he had just come from a massive struggle. Just the mere step he took towards the red-haired siblings was enough to stun everyone on that rooftop into silence. A giant white dog with a red bow tie followed him with bared fangs, looking like a wild direwolf who's ready to eat any villain's face off.

Okita surmised that this was not the Ginpachi-sensei that he knew, but it was _him_ —the Shiroyasha of legend.

"Gin-chan," whimpered Kagura pleadingly. She had a trail of blood coming from a tear in her lower lip. She had her hands to her throat, trying in vain to pry Kamui's strong fingers off.

"Sensei—" began the surprised Takasugi, but he was effortlessly pushed aside by the angry teacher, and he stumbled out of the way. In an instant, Ginpachi's foot was at the centre of the petrified Kamui's face. The sound of the impact was strong, like a gunshot, and any ordinary skull would have sustained a fracture. The older brother's grip loosened, and the small girl was able to wriggle free from his hold. In the next instant, she was being shielded from further harm by the big white dog.

Getting kicked in the face seemed to have snapped Kamui out of the trance. He laughed maniacally and rubbed his forehead. Part of his skin at his forehead had torn upon impact, and blood freely flowed down his face. "What a kick, teach! I came here to duke it out against the strongest person in Gintama High, but it looks like I picked a fight with the wrong person."

"I don't fight barbecue-smelling, snot-nosed punks like you," said Ginpachi. He took a step in between the siblings, shielding Kagura behind his strong back. The white dog padded next to her and growled protectively. "Besides, I'm the only one who's allowed to kick my stupid students' asses, so you just crossed a thin line."

Kamui looked like he was about to retort, but was interrupted with the clanging of the metal fence at the edge of the building and an unfamiliar exasperated voice. "Captain, what's taking so long?"

All of the persons on the rooftop glared at the owner of the voice: it was an older, shabbier looking guy with brown hair and a five o'clock shadow, probably in his thirties. He wore the same black outfit as the crazy redhead. He faltered upon seeing all the people of the rooftop. "H-hey Cap. What's with all the people here? What part of _top secret_ and _undercover_ did you not get?! We were supposed to be sneaky about this!"

"Ah~! About that, Abuto. Obviously, I ran into some unexpected retards!" Despite the blood flowing over his face, he had a happy look and scratched the back of his head comically. "Including that weak idiot over there. See? So excuse me for taking longer than expected."

"Oh?" The man called Abuto glanced at Kagura, and then at Kamui again. "A rabbit too, huh? Anyways, Captain, it doesn't matter. We gotta leave. NOW."

"Now-now?"

"Yes, now-now. For the love of god, hurry up." Without another word, Abuto leaped off the fence and disappeared from sight.

Kamui clicked his tongue and leapt off the roof, not even sparing another glance at the mess he made.

At the same moment, the sound of an explosion, followed by the screams of about a hundred students, suddenly rang out and echoed around the stillness of the night.

* * *

It wasn't the first time that Okita felt that nauseating, cold-sweat-down-your-spine kind of fear, the type of fear that you feel when people might be _fucking dying around you_ , but it wasn't a feeling that he missed.

Even though they all ran at the speed of light, the run from the rooftop to the gymnasium felt like it took a hundred years. There was smoke all over the gym, and the scent of it made him choke. He heard someone ahead of him shout something like _Don't come any closer, get to safety_ but he didn't listen. There were people lying on the floor, crawling out, and he needed to help them. His Shinsengumi instinct took over.

At some point, someone pulled the fire alarm, and water flowed freely out of the sprinklers in the ceiling. There must have been a fire somewhere in the gym, and even more smoke covered what little left was there to be seen. He saw a couple of unconscious girls on the ground, and he carried them off. With his limited vision, he saw Kagura and even the members of the Kiheitai begin to help some people too.

Somewhere, somehow, the evacuation effort was accomplished, and a mess of fire trucks and ambulances crowded the school's driveway, their red and blue flashing lights disturbing the night sky. Some people were on stretchers and wheelchairs, and many of them were crying and shell-shocked. But he heard one of the doctors say that apart from a few kids hyperventilating and pulling a muscle from running away, it seems that everyone was able to escape with mild injuries only.

Some grown-ups examined him for any injuries, found none, and put a blanket over him. He saw someone put a band-aid over the lower half of Kagura's face—an injury that definitely wasn't from the chaos of the gym. In another minute she was wrapped in her own white blanket as well.

He walked over and sat next to her wordlessly. She was absently petting her dog with one hand, and staring at where her foster dad was speaking to a couple of police officers.

"Hey."

"This is fucked up."

Nothing summarized the situation better. Okita, who never had to comfort anyone before, awkwardly patted her on the back. Her eyes were turbulent, and he almost heard her mind racing.

"Hey. Where have you guys been?"

Wrapped in their individual white blankets, Hijikata and Kondou joined them, with the former slumping tiredly next to Okita. Both of them had bandages at various parts of their faces and looked equally miserable.

"We were at the rooftop with Sensei when the explosion happened," said Okita. Noting the state of shock in their features, he decided to fill them in on the actual commotion with Takasugi and that crazy older brother later. "How about you guys? Were you there when it happened?"

Kondou nodded. "Otsuu-chan had just started her gig, so most of us flocked near the stage. All I can remember is a flash of light coming from the other side of the gym, followed by a loud sound and a ton of smoke. Didn't see who could have done it. People started screaming and panicking, so it was harder to see anyone suspicious… we worked hard to evacuate everyone and to keep everyone safe, but…"

"But?"

Kondou glanced nervously at Kagura, who returned his concerned gaze. "Gorilla, what happened? O-oi, Mayora…" she asked, the panic rising in her voice.

Hijikata didn't look her way. Instead, he glanced in the direction of where an utterly defeated Nobume was seated all by herself. Next to her was the police chief Isaburo, who seemed to be attempting to console her.

"Shit. Don't tell me—" began Okita. Kagura bolted to where Nobume was seated. The boys watched as the girls embraced each other, the taller, more stoic one of them suddenly bursting into tears.

Tokugawa Soyo, 3Z's class president and princess, was missing. Very likely kidnapped. And most likely by the hands of that Kamui bastard's gang.

Later on, after the tears were shed and bandages were placed and statements were taken and blankets were taken off, Kagura and Nobume marched resolutely in front of the surprised members of the Shinsengumi, and behind Ginpachi-sensei's back.

"I'm through running away from that idiot and his idiot gang," she announced. "Let's get Soyo-chan back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this or the next chapter I might have to slow down with my updates because 1) real-life related stuff (it ain't easy workin' in health care) and 2) there will be lots of other POVs to be used, and I want to make sure that they will be properly written down. Also the insomnia engine that made me write the story up to this point seems to have burnt out and suddenly it's hard to write again. But not to worry! I've an outline written out so I know how this story ends. I plan to keep this under 30 chapters at least orz
> 
> EDIT 6/14/18 - thanks to the lovely sidsinning (http://sidsinning.tumblr.com) for drawing fanart for this chapter! I am crying. I want to do this story further justice by continuing this story.  
> ... but not now since i need to pass my exams huhuhu  
> I will try my best!


	13. Red Bastard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They sneak out.

It took some time for the immediate aftermath of Tokugawa Soyo's kidnapping to die down. After the students were made to give their statements, the teachers who acted as chaperones had to give even longer statements, briefings, and debriefings by the police officers.

As Kagura waited for her silver-haired dad to come out of the school, her thoughts ran like wildfire. Would he say anything to the police about her brother? Will he tell them about the Harusame, and consequently, about her and her messed-up family tree? Would she be brought to a different country again just to keep her away from that group?

Most important of all, what happened to Soyo-chan? What could she do about it? She didn't know where Gin-chan will place her next, whether it was back to Papi or with police protection, but wherever it was, she'd have to find a way to get out, find her idiot older brother and fight him, then get Soyo-chan back within the next few hours. Her insides were a mess of anger, guilt, shame, and despair, but she pushed them further down so that there was nothing else but raw, idiotic determination fuelling her.

Before Okita went home with Kondou and Hijikata, he touched her shoulder firmly and looked her in the eye. "Whatever insane plan is forming in your head right now, I'm in," he said in a low voice. She nodded numbly in response.

It was almost daybreak when Ginpachi was released by the police. "Gin-chan," she asked in an uneasy voice, "Am I… are you going to send me away? B-because if you are… it's okay, I mean… if it will be safer for you to send me somewhere else…" The wetness that suddenly invaded the corners of her eyes caught her off guard and made her trail off.

He had the weight of the world on his shoulders, but when he looked at her, he had the same, lazy, comforting look on his face, as if nothing earth-shattering happened. "What're ya talking about? You ain't going anywhere. You're still grounded, remember?" He ruffled her hair then, and Kagura couldn't help but to half-hug, half-tackle him in sheer relief.

"Gin-chan! Are you sure? Wauuugh!" She sniffled and sobbed and snivelled in the least lady-like manner she could muster as she gripped onto Gin-chan's shirt.

The silver-haired man—her _dad_ , she thought fondly—patted her on the head comfortingly as her tears and snot stained the front of his shirt. "Why the heck would I send my only daughter somewhere else? Listen—you're stayin' with me whether you like it or not, all right? And I ain't sending you off until you get married (when you're forty. Make sure that damn sadist knows)."

"Stupid Gin-chan!" Kagura meant to playfully hit him on the chest, but this turned out to be not-so-playful. Ginpachi received this with an _oof_ as the air was forcefully pushed out of his lungs.

"Oi, watch it. Gin-chan's so freakin' tired he'll need to sleep this off for the next three days." He coughed as the small girl kept on hugging him.

They rode off on their Vespa with Sadaharu galloping beside them. The first rays of the sun bled into the dawn's sky. Kagura's mind continued to race.

* * *

Principal Hata suspended classes the next day amidst continuing investigations, pressure from the government, and the media circus that followed. At around 9 AM, Ginpachi was called to come to the school for an emergency meeting.

"Dammit." Kagura heard him mumbling through the door. With her trained ears, she was able to pick up the sound of him splashing water on his face, putting on his white coat, and fumbling with his shoes near the doorway. He mumbled a soft, "I'm leaving," to no-one in particular before the sound of the door closing and the lock sliding shut was heard.

She took out her mobile phone and sent a group text. _Park bench 15 mins._

A flood of _Ok_ s and _OMWs_ went in her inbox one by one.

It was safe to say that all of them in that group chat had little to no sleep since the events of the dance, judging from how quickly they responded to the call. Kagura had told everyone to gather weapons, and surprisingly, for this group of high schoolers, this was not difficult to do.

The Shimuras had supplies from their family-owned dojo; Shinpachi knew how to use a wooden sword and Otae knew how to use a spear. Kyuubei and Nobume were the stars of Kendo club and had _shinai_ of their own. Sa-chan said that Hattori-sensei was her personal coach in rhythmic gymnastics at school which is why she had all assortments of actual fuckin' _knives and ninja stars_ —no one bothered asking how these things connected.

Hijikata, being part of the baseball varsity, had access to a shit load of baseball bats. Before they went home from the school, he got Yamazaki and Saitou to help him smuggle them out of their stockroom. Kondou and Okita worked hard in the former's basement, slamming a variety of nine-inch nails into the old wooden ones. All of them had one each, except for Yamazaki who said he felt more comfortable fighting with his badminton racket.

Apart from his trusty _bokuto_ , Katsura also had Elizabeth prepare a bunch of illegal fireworks for their mission. Luckily, the truce within 3Z extended to him also, and the Shinsengumi boys let him go this one time for the sake of their class president.

As for Kagura, she thought about just going with her own body, but she knew that she needed to be the strongest she could be against Kamui. She had taken a deep breath and slid the door of her closet wide open, revealing the darkest, most hidden part of it.

Her own purple parasol, slightly dusty with disuse, gleamed under the fluorescent light of her room.

She took it out and swung it in the air, its weight familiar and dreadfully _wonderful_ in her grasp.

She placed it over her shoulder and turned to Sadaharu, who barked at her happily. "It's a sunny day, boy! Let's go for a nice walk."

She left, leaving the apartment she shared with Gin-chan hollow. She promised that by hook or by crook, she would be back in that apartment by night-time, with Soyo-chan safe in her own home.

* * *

They all met in the park at the designated time. As agreed upon in the group chat, all were dressed in clothes that were easy to move around in. Funnily enough, they all decided to wear track suits in different colours. The most striking of them were Katsura, who was dressed in curry yellow, and Shinpachi, who had a Holstein pattern about him.

Kagura, in her blood-red tracksuit, nodded to everyone resolutely. She regarded everyone's bleary eyes, but determined gazes. They all had their weapons concealed one way or another. If any of the police were following them then, they would think that they would probably be doing radio calisthenics together. "Nobume-chan, are they coming yet?"

The raven-haired girl-in-question, who looked the most dangerous of them all in her snow-white track suit and her shinai, merely nodded. As if on cue, a number of limousines suddenly appeared near them.

Along with a number of men in suits, a familiar guy with dark eyes and a receding hairline greeted them from within one of the limousines. "I appreciate the punctuality, Shinsengumi and friends. Let's go."

"Limousines…? This wasn't what we were expecting, Takechi-san," said Kondou.

"We can explain later, I suppose. We barely have time to waste."

Trying to ignore the feelings of uneasiness within themselves, the 3Z students did as instructed and went into the limousines.

And that was how they found themselves in a luxurious Western-style home, sipping tea and eating chiffon cake. In the background, a Mozart piece was softly playing.

"What the fuck?! This isn't the time to have a fancy-ass tea party!" Hijikata exclaimed, putting down his cup of Darjeeling rather violently on the table. Anticlimactically, however, most of the others in the group went from apprehensively tasting their cakes to scarfing it down without dignity when it turned out that it was quite delicious.

Takasugi shrugged. "You don't have to take it if you don't want to, Hijikata-kun. But Bansai's mom worked hard baking that cake for all of you. Isn't that right?"

The guy in dark glasses and an obnoxious looking headset shrugged. Apparently, since his parents were in the music business and managed and produced for a number of successful artists, the Kawakamis were freakin' loaded. This was contrary to what they were expecting, which was a meeting in an abandoned warehouse at some wharf somewhere. "I daresay we are fresh out of mayo, Hijikata-dono. My deepest apologies," he said politely.

"That's not why I'm pissed off."

"Beg your pardon, Takasugi-kun," began Kondou, ever the diplomat. "It's just that, truce or not, we didn't expect this kind of treatment from you and your friends. It's a pleasant surprise."

"I told Takechi that holding a meeting under the bridge with just Yakulk for everyone would be good enough for the likes of you, but my suggestion was respectfully overruled. Anyway, that's barely of importance, as Hijikata-kun has eloquently pointed out just now," said the one-eyed leader, lighting a cigarette in between his lips. He then turned to Kagura, who was in the middle of eating her second (… actually, fifth) slice of cake. "So, Red Girl. You were the one who asked to talk to me. What do you want?"

She knew that he was trying to unnerve her with his one-eyed stare. Beside him, that crazy blonde bitch was also glaring at her, as if daring her to spit on her face again. Kagura tried not to give in to instinct, though. She glanced at Nobume, who barely touched anything and was coldly glaring back at the Kiheitai, and to Okita, who merely nodded in her direction.

She looked at Takasugi right in the eye and said, "Yeah. I want to know exactly what happened that night, uh-huh."

He smiled back suggestively at her. "Which part?"

"The part where you set up a meeting inside school grounds with that insane older brother of mine—a _legit criminal—_ in what he said was a fight to the death, yup." She said this in a steadfast tone. She knew that he was hinting at the fact that he caught her and Okita, um, _going at it_ , and that he knew that the two of them were keeping it a secret for now. She told herself not to care whether he decides to reveal it to everybody else or not.

Surprisingly, he didn't. "Kamui's hunted me for a while now. I agreed to beat his ass that night so that he'd quit it."

"Why bring the mess inside the school, you bastard?" seethed Hijikata. "We knew that your miserable ass was still involved in gangs, but because of what you did, they went in and took the princess!"

"Excuse me, Hijikata-san. I understand that everybody here is upset, but you are gravely mistaken," said Takechi, regarding the tension in the students' faces. "It was Kamui-san who insisted on having the meeting inside the school. We did not know why he was insistent on that at the start, but it is beginning to be clear that the Harusame's primary intent was to kidnap Tokugawa-hime. It seems that Kamui-san sought out Takasugi-san on his own and acted against the orders of his superiors."

That seemed to be true. That scruffy brown-haired guy who went up to get Kamui looked harassed when he saw what was going on.

"The… Harusame? What's that?" asked Shinpachi apprehensively.

Takasugi smirked. "Good question. Care to elaborate, red girl?"

At this, the others in the room turned to look at her in curiosity. Okita looked the most curious of them all.

She steeled herself. _No more hiding,_ she repeated in her head, as she had done when she looked at the mirror that morning. "The Harusame's a huge organization from Hongkong, Taiwan, and parts of mainland China. It's involved in a lot of criminal activity. Drug smuggling, human trafficking, money laundering, you name it, yup. Papi—my real Papi, not Gin-chan—used to be one of the heads of that triad, but he left. Kamui, my stupid older brother, is still part of that group."

The cruel Takasugi, with his cold, unaffected smile, said, "Go on."

She felt the cold sweat trickling down her back. She hated his guts right now, but she had to explain it in full, or else their mission wouldn't make sense. She took a deep breath. "I… I was in Kamui's group before. But I left… Papi fought them and gave me a chance to leave and made Gin-chan legally adopt me so I could start over here in Japan…"

A small gasp escaped from the 3Z kids. As she recounted her bloody history in simple terms, she bitterly remembered that the Harusame was not above using strong little girls as killing machines. She felt her throat closing in—just the mere mention of it brought back memories of the cold bodies, the blood on her hands, and the overwhelming fear, thick in the air, snuffing out the _human_ part of her.

"Did they find out about Soyo because of you?" Nobume's voice was so sharp that she felt it cut through her heart.

"No, Nobume-chan, I'm not in contact with any of them, I swear!"

"She's right. That insane bastard didn't even realize that China was in Gintama High until he saw her on the rooftop," said Okita in his usual emotionless and detached voice. Despite that, it surprised her that it gave her comfort. "And it was finally clear what this one-eyed freak was up to all this time. He was trying to prevent these two monsters from encountering each other and making a mess of things."

"Hm. So I was," said Takasugi, "But you knew that already, ne, _kouhai?_ "

Nobume stood up in a cold rage and pointed her _shinai_ at Takasugi's face. Matako, in response, jumped in front of her leader and brandished an aluminium bat threateningly against the other girl. Everyone else jumped up in battle stance, so that it was instantly a messed up Mexican stand-off.

Kagura's body was tensed and ready to fight at any time. However, she had only begun to process what Takasugi said, and Nobume didn't deny: _she knew that Kagura was being bullied. And she let it happen._

 _She didn't do anything. She knew about the beatings, and she didn't do anything._ A pang of sorrow filled the void within her chest. Something warm and damp made itself felt at one of her cheeks, and she heard Anego's voice softly speak her name in worry.

Nobume didn't acknowledge this. Instead, she tilted her head and sent a cold glare at Takasugi. "I made Soyo stay out of your business because you said it was for Kagura-chan's own good. For _everyone's_ own good."

"And I meant it," said Takasugi. "That's why it's unfortunate how these things happened."

"If I find out that you are working with those criminals—"

"Bitch, don't make Shinsuke-sama repeat himself," snarled Matako, swinging the bat full-force down on the table. "He's already told you dumb-asses from the very beginning that he's reformed, right?! There's no _way_ that we'd work with those criminals. After we worked extra hard to keep that brat away from Gintama High and from that crazy red-haired bastard, this is how you punks see us!"

In response, Hijikata pointed his own baseball at the girl. "Then explain to us why you fucking idiots decided that the best way to keep her away from him was to send a bunch of girls to do the dirty work for you! You could have just—"

"What? Asked nicely?" replied Takasugi, with a ridiculing smile on his face. "Believe me, my dear Shinsengumi, if I even tried calmly telling you gents about this, you wouldn't have grasped how serious the situation was. The first time I heard of a foreigner with red hair and blue eyes whose fighting skill was at par with Okita Sougo's, my first concern was confirming that it wasn't Kamui going after my head. When I found out it was a little girl, I knew instantly that it was that _sister_ of his that he is famously known to rant about. There's a rumour that she's the reason why he went to Japan in the first place."

Kagura flinched. Papi never told her why she had to stay put at Gin-chan's house, but she had an inkling of the truth. Hearing her worst fears confirmed was more upsetting than she thought. Okita was looking at her with a hint of worry now.

"And it was just as Ginpachi got me back on track too. Tsk. I knew that the red girl and I should not be in the same place—there were too many troublesome possibilities—so Matako here said that she'd take care of it."

Kagura thought back to when she was being bullied. It never occurred to her then that it was strange that all those girls came together out of nowhere to force her to leave the school, when she was making her then-hatred of the Sadist very plain to see.

"That's why you dragged China to your turf. To confirm who she was," said Okita.

He nodded. "It was around the same time that red bastard discovered that I was coming back to Gintama High. When I actually came back and saw the red girl here without a single cut or bruise despite a week's worth of injuries, I knew that she came from the same genetic pool as him. We had to resort to even more drastic measures." He laughed, and irregular puffs of smoke went out of his nostrils. "It was just my luck that the Shinsengumi and Zura got involved. We had to resort to breaking my strategist's arm to keep the situation less complicated."

"It had to be done. A feminist will do anything to protect women, no matter how drastic," said Takechi wistfully, staring at Kagura with longing. She must have made a disturbed face, because Katsura stepped in front of her with a bokuto in his grasp.

"Still, Takasugi. It was despicable of you to go behind Ginpachi's back like that. I know what he went through to get you back," he said in a low voice. "Expulsion is the least of your worries. You know what he's capable of doing."

"I appreciate you worrying about me, Zura, but I believe that the ends justify the means. In this case, I did what I needed to protect his kid. Whatever my men did to her is nothing compared to what Kamui is capable of doing to her."

"What is he capable of doing anyway? I'm sure that whoever that punk is, Ginpachi-sensei can outdo him!" exclaimed Sa-chan, a slight blush on her cheeks. "There's no reason for any of us to be scared!"

"Sarutobi-san, it isn't a good idea for sensei to be involved," replied Hijikata. "Besides, a criminal bastard who's at par with Sougo or even this one-eyed freak is someone to worry about. And if he's involved with a bunch of other criminals, that guy doesn't have a limit to the type of cruelty he could do."

"Why _can_ 't we involve Sensei?" asked Otae, the worry plain on her face. "Sa-chan is right. He's the best person to handle this. He should have every right to protect Kagura-chan!"

"Because Ginpachi-sensei will tell us to wait on the sidelines and handle all this shit himself and likely get himself _fired,_ that's why! Besides the princess and Kagura, isn't he the main reason why we decided to take these things into our own hands in the first place?"

A heated argument exploded between Hijikata and the girls in the room. Kagura barely managed to control the turmoil building up inside her. She inhaled deeply and struck the table between them with her two hands, and everyone fell silent and looked at her.

She tried to forget about the way the silver-haired man patted her so comfortingly on the head earlier. _Sorry,_ she said to him, hoping that the telepathic message gets through somehow. "Gin-chan cannot find out about this. And that's final."

To Takasugi, she said, "I don't care about what shitty feud you might have with my idiot brother, or what you guys thought you were doing when you thought you could make me do something against my will." A tense silence followed, with everyone staring at either Takasugi or Kagura. The girl inhaled deeply and let the breath out, and she looked up at his one eye with new courage in her eyes.

"What I want to know now is, how can I get to him so I can kill him and get Soyo-chan back?"

"You? By yourself?" asked Takasugi, an incredulous tone apparent in his voice. "You might have forgotten how he almost _killed you_ before sensei intervened."

"She's not doing it alone." To her surprise, she was suddenly surrounded by the tall figures of the Shinsengumi boys. The gorilla, stepping into his Commander mode, stepped in front of her heroically. "It's part of our code to defend the students of Gintama High, no matter how difficult the situation is. We'll have her back."

"Us too." Shinpachi stood up, and he and Otae and Kyuubei and Sa-chan took their places next to Kagura. "We don't understand what's going on completely, Kagura-chan, but we'll stand by you. Even if you don't want him to be involved, we made a promise to Gin-san that 3Z will help each other, no matter what."

Katsura and Elizabeth stood up as well. "We won't abandon you in your mission, Leader. I'll personally keep an eye out for Takasugi for you, too. Just in case he has any more tricks up his sleeve."

"Y… you guys…" Kagura clenched her fists as an unidentified emotion rose within her chest. She was prepared for them to leave, to stay away from the ugly mess that her crazy family has created, to _keep themselves at a safe distance,_ but here they were, jumping right into the eye of the storm with her. "It's too dangerous to—"

She felt a warm hand subtly hold on to hers, and the contact was so sudden that she swore she felt a shock of electricity surge through her. She glanced up at his fierce, red eyes. "Refuse our help again, China, and I'll make sure to beat you up so hard that your two old men wouldn't recognize you anymore."

"As if you could do that, you idiot. I'd beat you up first, yup." Nevertheless, she blushed furiously at this, leaving everyone to uncomfortably speculate whether she was actually an M or not.

Takasugi cleared his throat. He turned to Nobume, who remained steadfastly separated from the rest of the group. "How about you, kouhai? I thought you and her were best friends," he sneered.

The raven-haired girl frowned, her black eyes flashing. "How do we know that you aren't shitting us? That you aren't involved in your gangs anymore?"

That cold smirk of his never leaving his face, his hand slowly went up to the eye patch over the left side of his face.

"Shinsuke-sama—" protested Matako, but she was held back by Takechi and Bansai.

The eyepatch went off, and underneath it was… nothing.

The hollow eye socket stared back at all of them disconcertingly. Ignoring the looks of horror and disgust in their faces and some commentary about pink eye gone wrong, Takasugi said to Nobume, "I left that world some time ago. This was my payment. I don't intend to let this go to waste. And I don't intend to let Shouyou-sensei down any more than I already have."

Kagura didn't know who Shouyou-sensei was, and why the mere mention of his name made Nobume's breath audibly catch in her throat. To everyone's surprise, she merely nodded, and stood up in solidarity with the rest of them.

That was all they needed. The delinquent of legend, Takasugi Shinsuke, now a reformed man, put one elegant hand down the table and told Kagura all she needed to know about Kamui.

* * *

As he cleaned out the nozzle of his parasol-gun, Kamui suddenly sneezed, and inexplicably pulled the trigger as he did so. A bullet ricocheted around the warehouse and almost hit Abuto, who barely dodged out of its way.

"Watch it," he berated. His red-haired captain grinned at him without an ounce of apology on his face before going back to cleaning his weapon.

Well, Kamui certainly was his superior, but he felt that he was less a leader and more of a nuisance. He had the strength and rage of all the fires of the seventh layer of hell, yet all of it was trapped in this unbearable brat's body. Being the only one in the Harusame who could manage him somewhat, Abuto found himself the reluctant babysitter of the 7th Division's Captain.

They were in an undisclosed location somewhere at the edge of Kyoto, surrounded by the forest. In front of them were black and white screens, showing different views of that little girl that they kidnapped. Abuto wrinkled his nose—kidnapping little girls, whether for slavery or for ransom or for blackmail, like in this case, was too tasteless in his opinion. But they had to do what they had to do.

It was close to seventeen hours since the girl has been kidnapped. Housen had her placed in a windowless room with a bed, a cabinet full of clothes, a toilet, and about twenty security cameras that watched her every move. Nobody else was allowed inside except for some of their women gang members, who brought her food and a disposable toothbrush three times a day. She was a strong girl, and so far she has not had a single meal or shed a single tear. She also made a show of destroying any video camera that she was able to find.

One of the screens turned to static—she found the sixth one under the bed. Seeing this, the red-haired captain laughed out loud.

"Good job, princess! Now I won't be able to see her feet. Man, this is _so exciting,"_ he drawled. He put down his umbrella, apparently finally satisfied with it. He let out an exaggerated sigh and leaned back on his chair, his arms behind his head. "Why the heck do we have to do this anyway, Abuto~? It's been a day of this fuckin' nonsense!"

Abuto grunted in response. He'd asked that question so many times that it was like the time they did a raid in Tokyo Nezuland and all he did the entire time was ask _are we there yet? Are we there yet?_ "I told ya, Cap, Housen ain't releasing her until Shigeshige gives in to his demands."

"Why? We got lotsa money and weapons, don't we?"

"We don't need those from Shogun." Well, Tokugawa Shigeshige wasn't actually a shogun, per se, but he had so much influence and popularity that he might as well be.

"Then what? What does that shaved head have that we need so badly? And why am I doin' this again?"

Abuto pressed two fingers on his temple and struggled to keep his tone even. "Political backing. And a guarantee of safe passage of our merch. You know it's been difficult circulating our goods in this part of Japan so we resorted to downright dirty tactics. He's had the idea of getting something valuable from Shigeshige for some time now, and it was apparent that there's nothing else of value to him but the princess here. Housen got you this job 'cause you're the only teenager in this division. You're the only one who could sneak into her high school without anyone asking a lotta questions."

Kamui already look disinterested and at the point of falling asleep in the middle of Abuto's as-you-know spiel. Honestly, he acted like a five-year old sometimes. "Shit. The only reason I agreed to do this job was 'cause I heard that the one-eyed freak went to the same school. Kidnapping is a really stupid method to get your way in my opinion." He looked at the screens again, his usual unnerving cheerful smile on his face. "Look at _her,_ though. Lookin' like a proper princess, even when all she's done is destroy our stuff and shoot daggers with her eyes. It'd be a shame if Housen tells me to cut off one of her pretty fingers to send to her bro. I'd prolly take her out for _xiao long bao_ if the situation were different. She looks like she'd enjoy that type'a thing."

"You? Pssh. She's outta yer league," scoffed Abuto. _As if this poor girl don't got enough to worry about._ "And you should really let go of that unhealthy obsession of yours with that one-eyed guy. I mean, since he's gone back to school, he ain't got any more beef with us, yeah?"

"Haha! No way, man. You saw it for yourself, right? He's hiding that weak little sister of mine from me. Now I have no choice but to kill him and get her back to where—"

When he suddenly stopped speaking, Abuto turned away from the screens and stared at Kamui. The boy inexplicably froze and started sniffing the air in the next second. The lock of hair that usually flopped from the top of his head stood straight like an antenna. The older man could almost hear the _beep beep beep_ from the insane radar that the aliens (?) installed in his head.

"Oi. What's the matter with you?"

"We gotta go, Abuto." Within the next second, Kamui's gone from his seat and leaping off in the direction of where the Princess's room was hidden.

Abuto knew that look. He's seen it twice before. One was right before their ship carrying methamphetamine was raided and bombed by the Hong Kong Police. Second was when a group of turncoats attempted to kill them with a bomb in their then-hideout in Shanghai. In both of those times, Kamui had no clear explanation how he knew about those attacks. It was probably the same gut instinct that made his old man Umibozu survive for as long as he had, even outside of the triad.

_Shit. Is this it? Am I going to die now?_

In any case, Abuto knew he had no time to lose before something else exploded. He yelled at the other members of the gang to get the fuck outta the warehouse if they wanted to live. A lot of them didn't listen to him and chose to remain in their places. He didn't care.

As soon as he saw Kamui with the Princess slung over his shoulder and beating up her guards with his free hand, he destroyed a portion of the wall with his umbrella-gun, cleared a path for them, and ran out.

In ten seconds, the bombs planted outside detonated, and the warehouse was erased in a giant fireball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm no expert in traditional Chinese cuisine, but I do love me some xiaolongbao. It's a kind of a soupy steamed dimsum. I like the ones from Din Tai Fung. Just writing about it makes my mouth water~


	14. Red Vespa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go for a ride.

Kagura figured that the toughest part of their mission was getting transportation. Among the ragtag group of vigilantes, only she (who had Sadaharu) and Glasses had any mode of transportation available to them. Even then, Glasses only had a bike, and it was the freakin’ mama chariot he used to get to school and to do groceries, not even a nice mountain bike that they can bring on long distance.

She had considered asking Mutsu for help, but she’s too close with Sakamoto-sensei, and by association, Ginpachi-sensei. If they got caught now, they’d go nowhere else but home.

Somehow, though, the said ragtag group found themselves holding the keys to a decent-looking sedan and a decent-looking pick-up truck. Mouths agape, they slowly turned to the owner of the vehicles.

“This is the best that I can do for your group, I daresay,” said Kawakami Bansai after he tossed the keys to both vehicles to Hijikata.

“Careful with your jaw, Shinsengumi,” mocked Takasugi with his trademark smirk on his face.

Kondou stammered, “This is way too generous, Kawakami-san!” Even though the vehicles weren’t brand new like the jeep that the Kiheitai was riding, the cars were not in bad shape. They were kind of dusty, and the pick-up had a sizeable dent at the passenger side, but that will work for them to look inconspicuous. 

“Yeah. Too generous. What’s the catch?” Okita asked, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

Takasugi shrugged. “It’d be in the interest of both our groups if this whole mess with that bastard is dealt with as quickly as possible, don’t you agree, Sougo-kun? Besides, Tokugawa-san is my classmate too.”

Nobume scowled upon hearing Soyo’s name from his mouth. “Since when did you start caring about what happens to her?”

He shrugged. “I care about the welfare of my classmates equally.” The way he said it wasn’t convincing in any way.

“In any case, this isn’t the time to be picky. We need to move,” said Hijikata. Even though they were all reluctant to do it, they had all relented to trust Takasugi and his group (apparently, _Kiheitai_ wasn’t the name of a gang, but a garage band) since it was almost a day since Soyo was kidnapped and they had to hurry.

“We can lead you by convoy to as far as the last known hideout of the 7th division,” said Takasugi, as the group went into the cars one by one. “But I told you before that it’s no guarantee that we’ll find them.”

“Yeah yeah, One-Eye. If there’s a chance that Soyo-chan is there, we’ll take it. If she’s not there, we’ll let Sadaharu sniff her location out, yes.” Kagura paused. The sedan was to be driven by Kondou, with Shinpachi, Otae, Kyuubei, and Sa-chan in the back. The pick-up was going to be driven by Yamazaki. In there would be the rest of the Shinsengumi, Nobume, Katsura, and Elizabeth. In other words, they wouldn’t fit.

Maybe she could ride Sadaharu, but she didn’t know how far the hideout was, and she wanted her dog to be in tip-top shape for any possible fight to occur. Just as she chewed on these thoughts a little more, she caught a glimpse of something shiny thrown her way. She grabbed at it automatically and she ended up catching another set of keys.

“My apologies, Red-dono. I can no longer lend you a car. I daresay that I hope that my Vespa will do.” Bansai pointed to a red-and-black scooter at the other end of the garage.

Kagura nodded. “This’ll do, yup.” The past year, Gin-chan let her try using his Vespa, the one possession he had that he actually obsessively maintained. This resulted in a lot of screaming (mainly from the frightened silver perm) and cursing (mostly from Kagura) in the Great Edo Supermarket parking lot, but at least she learned how to ride, and to ride fast. “Nobume-chan, do you want to…”

She looked at the dark-haired girl, who only stared back at her blankly. She was already riding in the back of the pick-up, looking menacing next to Elizabeth.

She felt someone’s hand clap roughly on her shoulder. “I’ll ride with you, China. Let’s go.” Okita appeared next to her and nonchalantly tossed her a helmet before strapping one on his head.

With the dust clouding up the garage, Kagura revved up the scooter and followed the Kiheitai’s jeep. The open road greeted her, and she felt the wind through her clothes and the Sadist’s knees brushing against her hips, and she momentarily ignored the fear and hurt threatening to take over her heart.

\- - -

It was near sunset when the faculty meeting concluded. The purple fatso, Principal Hata, wanted to call off school for the rest of the school year, or at least until Tokugawa Soyo resurfaces with all her fingers and limbs intact. In spite of the awful pressure from the rest of the city to do so, all the teachers refused. Still, the stress level among the faculty was so high that every single person in the room had smoke coming out from one orifice or the other, and cups of coffee were passed out with tremulous hands.

Hata wanted them to review over and over the events of that night, just like all the cops did. When it was apparent that no new information could be gleaned from any of the teachers who participated that night, Matsudaira practically pointed a gun at Hata’s head to make him stop the incessant whining.

Ginpachi stretched his arms and gave a long, tired sigh. Tsukuyo walked up next to him, her fifth cigarette from her second pack of smokes hanging from her lips.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself, lady.”

“What’s with the grumpy attitude, huh?”  

“Even with that shit-show goin’ on last night, I haven’t forgotten what you did to me after you got piss drunk on the punch,” grumbled the white perm.

Tsukuyo formed an _o_ with her mouth and blew, effectively engulfing Ginpachi’s silver head in silver smoke. “Shut up. Nothing happened. Even if that giant dog of yours didn’t interrupt us, your child-like crying was enough of a turn-off,” she said sharply, not bothering to keep her voice down.

“I wasn’t crying… _that hard…”_ he mumbled, scratching the back of his head. He did _not_ want to relive that moment, whether or not he had more pressing matters to think about. He shuffled a bunch of grading sheets from his class mindlessly and without real purpose before he stood up to leave.

Tsukuyo’s purple eyes softened as she regarded his slumped figure. “You really didn’t see anything suspicious last night?”

“Nope. Just that sadistic kid playing with my kid’s heart. I’m gonna castrate that guy once all this is over,” he said. He looked around the room briefly and mumbled, “Sakamoto’s absent today, huh.”

The blonde woman nodded. “He says he’s got a Chinese virus or something and his soul is coming out of his ass from all the diarrhea.”

“Guess I better visit him. Oi, old hag.” He shouted to the other side of the room, where an elderly woman was smoking her cigarette next to Matsudaira.

“Who are you calling Old Hag, you damned perm?” she said in annoyance.

“I might get home late. Sakamoto owes me money. Can you just make sure Kagura-chan is home before curfew?”

Otose scowled at him. By virtue of owning the space where Ginpachi and his sudden teenage daughter resided, she had been the entirely accidental other parent of Kagura. As reluctant as she made that role out to be, Ginpachi knew that she took the role very seriously. “I thought she was grounded. Do you even know what that means?”

Ginpachi shrugged. “I allowed her to go out today. She looked like a wreck last night. Might have wanted to see her other friends because of what happened.”

The old lady sighed. “Fine. But you shouldn’t be out too late either, you lout. She will need someone to be with her. I know how fond she is of Tokugawa-san. Also, once you get your money from Sakamoto you better pay your damned rent--”

“You’re the best, granny! Smell ya later,” said Ginpachi, already on the way out of the faculty lounge. With the wave of his hand, he bid farewell to the rest of the faculty, ignoring the suspicious way that Tsukuyo’s eyes narrowed as he did.

\- - -

As unreliable the man in question was, he was doing pretty well.

Sakamoto Tatsuma-sensei, a humble high school teacher who taught accounting, lived in a three-bedroom condominium unit in the classier side of the city. Ginpachi had to leave his name and an ID card and a dog had to sniff his ass for any bombs or drugs he might have had in his possession before he was allowed inside. It was that type of high-end place, and the injustice of it all pissed him off.

He rang the doorbell. It took a few seconds before the door opened and revealed a bean pole sporting a mossy mop of brown hair and purple sunglasses.

“Kintoki! How nice of you to drop by!”

“It’s Ginpachi, you dolt.”

“I keep forgetting. Come on in then, Kinpachi. You kept us waiting for far too long. Haaa-hahaha!” Sakamoto stepped aside and let the taller man inside his unit.

Sakamoto liked futuristic designs, and Ginpachi thought that the inside of his unit looked like the control center of a Gundam. As expected, a beautiful, but fierce Chinese woman with pale skin and brown hair sat next to the coffee table in the center of the room and appeared to be hard at work on her laptop.

“’Sup, Mutsu. Lookin’ like you got a stick up your ass, as always.”

“Lookin’ like a retard as always, Gintoki.” Mutsu regarded him with the bare minimum of warmth in her eyes, nodded briefly, and went back to work.

“And howdy to you too, chief.” Ginpachi nodded to the guest who sat across Mutsu.

“Sakata Gintoki-san. You are late. This type of behaviour isn’t for an elite like me to tolerate. But I suppose I must be benevolent in this case.” Police Chief of the Mimawarigumi PD, Isaburo Sasaki, had his arms and legs crossed as he sat on a Vantablack leather sofa. He was composing a text on an outdated-looking flip phone with his right hand. His pure white uniform and pure white hair appeared to hover unnaturally in the room.

The silver perm rubbed the back of his head in annoyance. “It’s Sakata Ginpachi now, _kuso jiji._ I’d appreciate it if you don’t use the old one anymore. I spent all that money having it legally changed and shit.”

The older man clicked his tongue. “Very well. Despite obviously withholding important information during your interview with the police, I’ll listen to what you say now. You claim that this is the only way we can rescue Tokugawa Soyo? I must tell you, the rest of the Mimiwarigumi elite force is hard at work tracking down her whereabouts, and I’ve reason to believe that we are getting closer and closer. We’ve had our eyes on the Harusame for some time now.”

 _Here’s another one with a ginormous stick up his ass_. “I get you, Chief. I ain’t here to put down your efforts in tracking down the Harusame. I just thought that you’d appreciate insider info on the situation here.”

Isaburo looked up from his flip phone and narrowed his eyes at him. His monocle gleamed menacingly. “Insider information? Don’t tell me you and Sakamoto-san are involved with them? I thought you two have reformed from criminal activity years ago.”

“Ha-hahahaha! You’re super wrong there, chief. I happen to know that Kinto—I mean, Kinpachi here illegally downloads his xxxxx movies from—“ Sakamoto’s gleeful confession was cut short by a fist to his bespectacled face.

“Don’t listen to this low screen-time idiot,” Ginpachi snarled, giving said idiot a death glare. He cleared his throat. “And you’re looking at the wrong person here, chief.”

The old man blinked in curiosity as his gaze fell on the brown-haired woman, who didn’t even look up from her work. “So… the former Diamond Princess is linked to the Harusame? I know she is formerly of a different crime ring years ago.”

“Those pirate wannabes are hacks. I have neither allegiance nor loyalty to them,” she said, her voice husky and sandpaper-y. “And I’ve not had any interest in criminal activity for some time now, Police Chief Isaburo. The Kaientai—a legitimate company, I’ll have you know—only deals in lawful transactions. You can thank that laughing retard that is my husband over there for that.”

His presence acknowledged (although not in a flattering way), Sakamoto guffawed audaciously. Isaburo focused his none-too-amused monocled glance at Ginpachi once more. “This confuses me, Sakata-san. You clearly said insider information, but none of you claim to be inside of Harusame. I would hate it if you purposefully wasted this elite police chief’s time,” he said in a dangerous monotone voice.

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch, chief. I never said that we’re with Harusame, just that we have insider information.” He lowered his voice, tried not to think of the orange-haired girl he was so desperate to protect, and steeled his resolve.  “I take it you’ve never heard of the Yato before.”

The room fell silent, as if sensing Ginpachi’s apprehension in talking about the topic. Isaburo narrowed his eyes and glanced at Mutsu, who continued doing transactions on her laptop with an air of indifference. “I see,” he said, with some understanding in his voice. “I’ve heard of them. A small, close-knit clan from mainland China. They say that the bloodline carried a mutation, rendering them unbeatable in a fight but very susceptible to developing skin cancer. One way or another the family became a criminal dynasty. A branch of them used to head the Harusame triad.”

“Looks like you did your homework,” said the silver-haired teacher. It was almost the same word-for-word monologue he first gave the baldy on the day he first met Kagura.

Isaburo grunted in affirmation. “I did hear that one of the heads who left and almost ruined the organization by doing so was the strongest of them. I didn’t think that this Yato business was true, though. It almost sounds like science fiction.”

The overenthusiastic Sakamoto wiggled his eyebrows and lowered his glasses, his eyes looking straight into the police chief’s. “Yet, it is. Even from our infrequent and soft-core S&M plays in the bedroom, I can attest to how true the Yato strength is. Ha-hahaha! Furthermore, I don’t dare to leave my dear Mutsu out in the sun for too long, else she’d shrivel like an ugly prune.”

The fair-skinned Mutsu kicked Sakamoto in the face, in effect making him crash into the opposite wall and demonstrating the Yato strength that he babbled about earlier. Isaburo nodded in further understanding.

“All right. I can accept that. But I do not understand how this will help us in finding Tokugawa Soyo,” said the police chief sternly.

Ginpachi nodded to Mutsu, who then turned to Isaburo. “Like I said, I have neither allegiance nor loyalty to them. But much as I hate to admit it—“ she sighed reluctantly at this point, “I owe that baldy—the one you say who used to head a branch of Harusame, and who left the criminal underworld. He left me to keep tabs on his two kids. This silver perm has reason to believe that the baldy’s eldest had something to do with the little princess’s kidnapping.”

The white-haired chief scowled at Ginpachi. “You withheld this information from the police. Why?”

The silver-haired teacher absently played with the lollipop in his mouth before answering. “Remember your promise first, old man. None of this goes on record, you hear?”

He narrowed his eyes and said nothing, but nodded and crossed his arms.

“On the night of the explosion, we ran into some members of the Harusame. One of them was a kid with monstrous, Yato-like strength, whose ass I needed to beat,” began Ginpachi slowly, seeing the scene playing out in his mind’s eye. “And he had vermilion hair, blue eyes, and white skin.”

“…. Hm.” Isaburo was a smart man. And Ginpachi knew how he was practically a _tiger mom_ taking care of Imai, and how he must have known all about Kagura, who was one of his adoptive daughter’s close friends. Ginpachi only hoped that he was able to add two and two together and that he didn’t need to explain further that his daughter is related to a criminal clan. After the police chief mulled the information over in his head, he looked at Ginpachi with some understanding. “Any more secrets that you’re hiding from me? What a troublesome high school teacher you turned out to be.”

“Nothing more, chief. We’ll cooperate with you. Just don’t implicate my daughter into any of this. And before any of you bastards say anything, she’s _legally mine,_ got it? She isn’t a goddamn criminal and she never will be.” He looked at both Isaburo and Mutsu as he said this.

Mutsu shrugged. “She’s a good one, your kid. Anyway, I promised that Baldy that I will always know where his two children are.”

“So you know where Tokugawa is right now?!”

The brown-haired woman shook her head. “I only know of where Kamui most likely is located. If Gintoki is correct that he directly kidnapped the little princess, I suppose she’d be at the same location as well.”

“No time to waste then,” began the police chief, when an obnoxious ringing tone played from his phone, different from the other tones that Ginpachi heard so far. At the same time, his phone vibrated as well, and he fumbled through his pocket trying to look for his Bokia 3210-7.

_Gin-chan! Im stayin over @ Nobume-chans place. tell granny 2 sleep early. gunna eat all ur snaks bye~_

Isaburo shut his phone and hummed in annoyance. “Sakata-san. Seems that Nobutasu is sleeping over at your place tonight. I’ll pick her up as soon as our investigation is over. Better make sure that she’s safe and…

“…”

The two old-smelling, white-haired fathers looked at their phones side by side, and then blankly looked at each other. The sound of their minds adding two and two together sounded like a time bomb, and afterward, without even bothering to hop in a vehicle, the two of them exploded into an enraged run.

\- - -

The late afternoon sun on her pale skin made her radiate a palpable warmth that he could feel from where he seated behind her. The wind rushed past his ears and towards his nose, carrying with them the familiar, pleasant strawberry scent of her shampoo. The autumn leaves from the trees along the side of the road painted everything orange and red, all the colours that reminded him of her.

Yet Okita could not feel an ounce of that shoujo or romantic vibe at that particular moment, as he was too busy cursing and fearing for his life.

“What do you mean you don’t know how to use the fucking brakes?!”

“I know how to use the brakes, you idiot! It’s just that sometimes I forget how to do it!”

“You stupid pig! Oi, at least slow down if you don’t know how to stop! Why do you keep going faster?!”

“If we go faster we could open up a portal and go to where Soyo-chan is right at this moment!”

“You’re going to open up a portal from my small intestines to my mouth! I’m going to throw up!”

“Go ahead, you potato boy! You couldn’t take the Fast and Furious style that Gin-chan taught me!”

Okita didn’t know for how much longer his sphincters could hold on. This was almost exactly like the time that Matsudaira-sensei made them go to Nezuland to spy on his daughter (who went to a different all-girls’ school) and he wasn’t able to lower down the safety bars on the roller coaster and he almost died.

From his peripheral vision, he saw the pick-up that Yamazaki was driving speed up next to them. “What the hell are you guys doing? Slow down, you brat! Takasugi’s way behind in the convoy!” yelled the irate vice-commander from the passenger seat.

“We’re going to go through a portal to go to where Soyo-chan is!” yelled Kagura.

“As expected of leader! A flawless plan!” shouted Katsura from the back of the pick-up truck. “It is time to go over the speed limit, you Shinsengumi dog! Hurry up!”

“Waaah~ even if you say so, it’s impossible! I can’t go any faster than this!” said the weeping Yamazaki, who apparently just obtained his driver’s license a week ago.

“Then we can’t leave our vehicle to this jimi! Let me drive!”

“You don’t have a license to drive, you freakin’ juvie!” yelled Hijikata as he attempted to push the long-haired wig back to his place at the back of the pick-up. In the commotion, the truck began to swerve dangerously near Kagura’s Vespa and the side of the road (which was next to a cliff).

“Ahh~! Vice-Commander! Please calm down!” screamed Yamazaki. Saitou and Elizabeth wrote profanities in their sign boards in solidarity with the jimi’s remarks.

“Toushi! Sougo! China-san! Sagaru!” yelled Kondou, as he drove the sedan closer to the swerving vehicles. “Slow down! You’re leaving the Kiheitai behind!”

“No can do, Gorilla! The brakes on this Vespa are defective! We won’t stop until we’ve crossed dimensions--”

“The only thing that’s defective here is the inside of your skull, you stupid pig! Do you even know where we’re going?! And keep your eyes on the road!” When he noticed that Kagura was looking at anywhere else except the road in front of them, he reached out and held her cheeks from behind to keep it from turning. Why the heck did he volunteer to ride with this reckless girl, anyway? Okita made a mental note to sue Ginpachi-sensei for being an utterly sucky driving instructor.

Hijikata shoved Katsura’s head in desperation and growled, “Commander, permission to kick this rebel wannabe off this mission! You’re gonna kill us before we get to those Harusame jerks! I knew it! You’re in cahoots with them!”

“Now, now, Toushi! Part of good leadership is to maintain order within your unit! Look at us in our car! We’re like a nice happy family, aren’t we? With _my waifu_ , her totally platonic best friend, my brother-in-law and my fellow stalker, we are the definition of a good and harmonious—“

His happy monologue was interrupted within the next moment by four pairs of fists hitting him in various vital spots in his body, and his consequent yelps of pain. An eerie silence where a driver was conspicuously absent followed. Somehow, within the next moment, Sa-chan was behind the wheel, her eyeglasses flashing furiously.

“Don’t put me in the same level as you,” she grumbled not-so-discreetly. Visible behind her were a serene-looking Otae, who looked very satisfied with a murder gone right, and a harassed-looking Kyuubei and Shinpachi.

Smoothly, the Kiheitai jeep caught up with everyone. Takasugi peered from the passenger seat and looked at all of them with a mocking smile on his face. “Oi. If you’re done plotting to kill one another, you better get ready. We’re close, and the welcoming committee’s ready to greet us.”

They all turned to the straight road in front of them. Approximately 1 kilometer away were a group of men in familiar black uniforms, about ten of them standing in a row. They all wielded giant umbrellas, which they aimed at the approaching group like rifles. Okita could make out the shadow of an abandoned-looking warehouse further behind them.  

“China. They’re gonna shoot to kill us. Isn’t that right?”

“Uh-huh,” she answered quietly, her shoulders tensing. She turned her head to the side, the side of her bright blue eye capturing Okita’s. “Sadist. I’m not slowing down for them. Soyo-chan might be there, waiting for us to come save her.”

“… right.” He leaned forward and patted her on the shoulder. “Not like an idiot like you knows how to slow down, anyway. I’ll take care of these bastards here.”

The enemies were getting closer and closer. They raised their umbrellas, the safety clicking off almost simultaneously. She nodded. “I know you’re too stupid to get killed, Sadist. I’ll see you later.”

What happened next was a blur. As the first round of gunfire sparked from the umbrellas, Okita leapt from his seat, then Kagura’s shoulders, with his nailbat aiming for two of the Harusame pirates’ heads. Simultaneously, he saw Katsura and Nobume leaping off from their respective spots at the back of the pick up truck, also hitting two pirates squarely at the back of the head. Sa-chan, Yamazaki, and Takechi drove their vehicles straight into the row of soldiers, effectively running them over.

Miraculously, as it seems to happen in bad-ass teenagers in anime, no-one was hurt in this first scene. Okita looked up at Nobume and Katsura, who were making sure that no-one among the criminals was conscious.

They nodded at each other and then sprinted towards the warehouse as pure adrenaline pumped through their veins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long. Many things happened. :P I kinda lost the groove of the story. Am just hoping I get it back hehe ^_^'


	15. Red Neck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get injured.

The sun was setting, and the uncomfortable heat and humidity that surrounded the forest was slowly dissipating. It was good for them not to need their umbrellas at that time, since they had a lot of cargo—he with a bag of goods, mostly food in the form of rice balls and meat buns and ramen, and the Captain with the collapsed princess.

The explosions were likely not Housen's idea, although Kamui was insistent that the old man was stupid enough to attempt it should the Shogun refuse their demands. However, it hasn't been 24 hours since the princess was kidnapped, and it's unlikely that they would abandon the negotiations so early. No, Abuto was sure that it was a different group who was responsible. A lot of other people in the Harusame wanted the 7th division dead, after all.

"A lot of people are still salty against what that damned baldy did," muttered Kamui. "But do you think they're dumb enough to try to kill the princess along with us?"

Abuto shrugged. "You never really know what the head honchos of the Harusame could be thinking." It was such a big organization, and each division might as well be its own independent gang from how little interaction they had with each other. The unity that it once had dissolved when Umibozu abandoned the triad.

A small groaning sound interrupted their conversation. Kamui looked over his shoulder and noted that the girl was beginning to stir.

"Hey, turns out she's still alive, after all."

The girl was mumbling something incoherent in Japanese. Kamui put her down on the ground and watched intently (well, creepily) as her eyes slowly flew open.

"K… Kagura-chan…?" she mumbled weakly. "Where am I…?"

"Hm. Looks like she knows the weakling, too. Is that why she's pretty weak, too? Birds of a feather and all that." He started poking her on the cheek in a silly attempt to get her out of her stupor.

"Oi. Know how to treat a lady, will ya? She's probably like that 'cause she hasn't eaten or drank anything for almost a day." Abuto knelt and opened up his pack and rummaged for a canteen of water and a rice ball. Carefully, he tipped some water into the princess' dry mouth, and after coughing for a bit, she gratefully gulped down the cool liquid. A bit of color went back into her face, and some semblance of clarity was seen in her eyes.

"Thank you," she said in Mandarin, much to Abuto's surprise.

"Nice, Abuto. Lemme try this time!" Kamui took the rice ball and practically smashed the entire thing into the princess' mouth.

She coughed and punched him in the face in retaliation. It was strong enough to reopen the wound on his forehead, and blood freely gushed out of the gash and over his face.

"… shit. My heart is thumping so fast~"

Abuto sighed and handed his captain a piece of cloth. He turned to the girl, who was munching on the rice ball in irritation. "Sorry about what happened back there, princess. We didn't know any of this would happen."

"Please, call me Soyo. Thank you for rescuing me," she said, again in Mandarin. It was much more fluent than he expected, and he wondered how much of the conversations earlier were picked up by her. "I don't really understand what's going on, but I'd appreciate it if you gentlemen were to bring me back home now. I can guarantee a reward for both of you."

Kamui laughed long and hard at her statement, and she glared back at him in response. "Princess, did you get amnesia and forget about the fireballs that almost killed us back there?"

"Fireballs…?" She held her head, and her face scrunched up, as if getting a massive headache. "Wait… I was kidnapped, and out of nowhere a noisy guy who looked like Kagura-chan broke me out of that prison… yes, I barely remember it, but there were explosions, weren't there…?"

"Can you __not__ compare me to that weakling? Don't you know that I'm—" began Kamui before Abuto kicked him in the shin. "What the f—"

"Yes yes, this guy is the little rabbit's older brother! And we've come to help you out, Princess, since you're her friend, aren't you?"

"What are you talking about—"

Abuto pulled down his captain's ear _painfully_ and he urgently whispered, "She thinks we rescued her, Cap. It'd be easier for us to transport her if she doesn't know 'bout us."

A look of enlightenment then followed, and they turned back to the princess, who sported a look of confusion in her face. Abuto scratched the back of her head bashfully and continued in the most reassuring voice he could muster. "Anyway, Princess, we're currently workin' hard to get ya outta harm's way, so I hope the three of us will get along, yeah?"

Even when she had bits of rice on her face from when his stupid captain tried to feed her, the smile that the girl gave was so elegant, Abuto felt like prostating himself in shame and unworthiness. "I understand very well. Then, please take care of me, ya miserable goons."

"Thank you-eh. Come again?"

Soyo stood up on both feet and dusted her now-dirtied and torn ball gown. She stared at them right in the eyes, the regal smile unwavering from her mouth. "I apologize for not speaking clearly. I entrust that you thugs will take me somewhere that's safer than this place. After all, I am a precious commodity to your group, the type whom you can't harm unless there's direct orders from your superiors, aren't I?"

He'd know that glint of sadism anywhere-the Captain had it, and now this pure white beautiful elegant princess in front of him practically _glowed_ in it. Abuto felt his face turning blue. Kamui, on the other hand, appeared unfazed as he retorted, "Don't push it, girlie. I don't give a fuck whether you're a so-called precious commodity or not, I could still kill you anytime I wanted-"

For some reason, Soyo had another clean hit on the red-head's face, and a fresh spurt of blood followed it.

"P-princess! Please don't-"stammered Abuto.

"If you had wanted to kill me, _boy,_ you would would have left me in that warehouse," said Soyo, her voice still sweet and unwavering. "I don't know what you want from me. I just know that I'm no use for you if I'm hurt or dead. Is that right?"

Despite the blood flowing from his open wound, Kamui grinned back at her. "You don't know anything, do you, little princess? You should know, I'm not like the cute little dogs you hang out with at that little public school of yours."

"Oh? 'Cos you stink like a dog. And not a cute one."

"... in fact, I barely give a shit about what happens to you." The maniacal smile didn't leave his face, and yet the little princess didn't waver until he said the next part of his speech. "But it seems like you're valuable to that weakling, so I'll have to keep you very, very close to me. Maybe if you're around, she'll finally come to her senses and come back to her cute brother's open arms, right? Right?"

While Abuto expected a look of horror on Tokugawa's face, upon the mention of Kagura, a look of disgust was plain on her face. A moment of tense silence followed.

"... siscon," mumbled Soyo, causing Abuto to choke on his own spit.

"Oi, who you calling a siscon."

"I can't believe Kagura-chan is related to a piece of garbage like you, you siscon."

"I'm not a siscon. I'm just a regular older brother."

"You're probably a lolicon too, by the looks of it. It's a good thing my dearly beloved older brother who is perfect in every way (except his stained briefs) isn't anything like you, siscon."

"Like I said, I'm not a siscon. If anything, it sounds like you have a brother complex too. (Seriously? Prime Minister Tokugawa has stained briefs?)"

"You said 'too.' You just admitted that you're a siscon, you lolisiscon. (Yes he does. And they smell pretty bad too.)"

"Um, pardon me, Cap'n and Princess," interrupted Abuto, waving his arms worriedly in the middle of the young ones, "I'm glad we decided that we aren't killing each other right now, but we gotta keep movin' before it gets dark, all right? We don't know if any of the Harusame folks got anyone chasin' after us and all."

"Shaddup, old man, yer the one who's movin' too slow," the sadistic sibling-complex duo said in unison, the creepy smiles never leaving their faces.

Abuto physically keeled over, and before he knew it, the two kids were arguing and talking trash about the Prime Minister's stained briefs once more. He stammered at his attempt at a comeback, sighed, and trudged a good distance behind them, keeping an eye for strangers with parasols in the trees.

* * *

Gunshots. Screaming. Destruction. Fire.

After briskly beating up about fifty thugs who dared stand in their way outside the warehouse, this was the scene that greeted Okita, Katsura, and Nobume when they entered the warehouse where the supposed Seventh Division set-up camp. But while they were ready to fight even more when they came in, they didn't expect to see what greeted them next.

… well, to be honest they kinda expected it. Okita stared blankly as he watched the members of the Shinsengumi pummel all the thugs they can get their hands on to the ground. Kondo-san was naked, for some reason, and was laughing victoriously over a pile of bodies. The Shimura siblings plus Yagyuu were already done with their share of thugs-the way Otae was grinning at her opponents scared them so much that they look ready to shit their pants, and the way Glasses Stand was covering his nose, it probably already happened anyway. China's giant monster of a dog was happily chewing on some poor schmuck's head. Sarutobi was neatly bundling all the defeated enemies together in bondage gear.

Katsura's duck patted his way towards the trio, holding a signboard which read, [You're late.]

"We did a cool thing back there, Elizabeth. You should have stayed behind and filmed us. It would have been good propaganda for the _Jouishishi."_

[But… you're with the _Shinsengumi_ and the _Mimawarigumi._ That would have been sucky propaganda.]

"No matter. By the end of this, these dogs will be at our side, and… hey, don't just walk away from me, you two. Not after we did that cool entrance back there… Hey!"

Ignoring the terrorist wannabe's rambles, Nobume walked briskly amongst the unconscious criminals, not even flinching as her steel-toed boots crushed some guy's organs or balls as she did so. Okita trailed after her as she glared from one corner to another. "… I don't see Tokugawa-san anywhere."

"If she really were in this warehouse, she wouldn't be in the first room we enter."

Nobume scowled. "You're talking as if you already know that she won't be here."

"We got our intel from Takasugi, so I'm taking things with a grain of salt," answered Okita emotionlessly. This earned him a click of the tongue. "Did you really trust in him 100%? Just 'cause he's your sempai or something?"

Nobume glared at him, but didn't say anything. Seeing movement from an open door at a loft, she leapt a couple of meters off the ground, landed gracefully, and ran after it. Okita followed suit.

It led to another hallway, filled with unconscious and/or groaning thugs. They heard the sounds of someone crying and the sound of a fist beating something to a pulp.

As they ran closer, Okita heard a familiar, brash, heavily-accented voice. "I'm tellin' ya, I'll kill ya if you don't start makin' sense, uh-huh! Where's Soyo-chan?! Where did you hide her?" Bam. Bam.

"I… dunno nuthin'! I swear! OW!"

"This is where Ba-Kamui's throwin' his shit around, ainnit? Answer me!" Bam.

"L-like I told ya, that lousy Seventh Division ain't here no more! This here's the Eighth's property now! OWWW! My nose!"

Inside the room, as expected, China was beating the living daylights out of some random thug, who didn't have any front teeth left to sing about. Hijikata was on the floor, for some reason, his ugly mug scrunched up in annoyance and pain, while Takasugi was smoking a cigarette and watching the scene bemusedly. When Okita and Nobume stepped in, he gave them his usual wicked smile. "Ah, Sougo-kun. Kouhai. You survived the brawl."

Okita ignored him. He turned to Hijikata and asked, "What's going on now?"

Hijikata shook his head. "These are just small fry. They don't know anything… I'm actually more concerned about stopping that brat from actually killing that guy over there."

"Did you try to stop her, Hijibaka?"

"I got a bruise on my left kidney to prove it," he grumbled, wincing in pain.

"And I warned you that you couldn't stop a Yato from doing her thing… it's what they are good at," said Takasugi coldly, blowing a puff of smoke in the air.

"And I say, let her kill the guy if he couldn't say anything useful," answered Nobume coldly.

"You shut the fuck up." Hijikata glared at the one-eyed delinquent and even at the cold-eyed girl. Instead, he moved his head, gesturing for the younger boy to try his luck next. "Sougo. She might listen to you."

Sniffing the air, a familiar metallic scent tingled his nose-blood mixed with gunpowder and killing intent-and he briskly went to where China was. As expected, the look in her eyes was different. Before her fists made contact with the poor guy's face again, he caught them with his hands. "Oi, China. You ain't gettin' anything from a low-level thug like that."

Kagura turned to him with those piercing blue eyes carrying a maddening, bloodthirsty glare. The same one that he saw on the school rooftop. "Stay outta the way, chihuahua."

It took all of his strength to keep her fists under control. "I said stop it, China. I thought you left the Harusame so you wouldn't have to do bullshit like this anymore."

She ground her teeth so loudly that Okita expected her to spit out a chunk of tooth in the next moment. "But if we don't find Soyo-chan-"

"If Tokugawa-san saw you like this, what would she think?"

"I'm doing it for her-"

"What about Ginpachi-sensei, huh? If that perm-head saw you beating the shit outta some punk who couldn't give you the time of day, what do you think he's gonna do?"

That stopped Kagura from struggling. The cold glare in her eyes dissipated slowly, and then rapidly, and Okita let her fists go. When she looked at the thug below her in the eye, she raised her right hand once more and hit the floor next to his head with all her might.

The cement floor suddenly had a fist-sized crater next to his head, and the guy choked back a sob. He sputtered, "Y-you'll pay for this, you cheeky brats! N-no matter how strong you are, you're no match for the Harusame!"

"Hm. I'll say we're more than evenly matched, buddy." Okita gripped the guy by the collar, dragged his bloodied body across the floor, and let him look at the main area of the warehouse, where all the fire and destruction and unconscious bodies were piled up. "See, can you believe a buncha high schoolers were able to beat your gang to a pulp like this? Makes you wanna cry uncle, don't it?"

The guy wailed, but didn't falter. "You're the one who's gonna cry uncle soon! I swear it!"

All of them paused when a great noise filled the air. Okita threw the guy against the wall, knocking him unconscious.

"Is that a chopper?"

Takasugi peeked outside the window and nodded. "Looks like one of our friends here called for back-up."

Hijikata grunted as he stood up. "It's good that I've given the signal for everyone else to get outta here minutes ago," he said in a low voice. He cursed under his breath. "How many of them are out there?"

"Maybe 300 or so. With assault rifles."

"That's a lot for just fucking back-up."

"Seems so."

"We have to get moving too." He turned to the others and cursed again when they haven't budged. "Oi, move your asses already. We can't beat these guys. We gotta go, now!"

"I'm not going anywhere without Soyo-chan!" yelled Kagura indignantly. "So just stay outta our way, Hijibaka!"

"Neither am I, Hijibaka," said Nobume, her dark eyes flashing menacingly. "I can probably take on a hundred of them."

"Don't be stupid! And who the fuck are you calling Hijibaka?!" growled Hijikata, losing his composure. "I don't care how strong you are, there's no way you could take on a hundred grown men with just a shinai!"

"Watch me."

"Hijikata-san," said Okita, interrupting his aggravated noises. "We aren't leaving this building anytime soon."

"And why not, you do-S?! Are you that much of a sadist that you think you can take them on by yourself, huh?!"

"... it's just that we don't have much of a choice."

Of course, what Okita was pertaining to was the dark, menacing figure looming behind Hijikata. When he finally realized just what was going on, he jumped back, his nail bat drawn and ready for combat.

The dark figure laughed darkly and clapped his hands. "Good evening, children. I see you've made a mess of this warehouse, as expected… yet this much damage from a handful of highschoolers? I really have to give you credit for exceeding my expectations just a little bit."

The said highschoolers tensed, their weapons drawn out in front of them. The figure stepped out of the shadows, revealing a tall, pale-skinned man clad in a dark, mandarin collar suit, and long grey hair. His figure was imposing, and his smirk was derisive as his gaze went over each standing person in the room.

"... Oh. It's just some old geezer," said Kagura, giving an exaggerated sigh. "And to think I was worried that the main boss finally arrived."

The man's lip twitched upward. "So you think I'm just some old geezer, eh? I don't look main boss enough for you?"

"Why? You look fresh outta the seniors home. Did you lose your way, old man? Do you need our help getting home?"

"Now, now, China," began Okita, not changing his nonchalant facial expression, "he went through all the trouble setting up the tense atmosphere… ya gotta try not to hurt the old geezer's feelings, ya know?"

Hijikata glared at the two of them, begging them silently to shut up, but all the old man did was to laugh that unnerving dark laugh again. "They don't teach good manners in school anymore, I see. I should tell that silver-haired teacher of yours to start doing his job properly, shouldn't I? Maybe an AK to his dead-fish eyes will do the trick."

That shut them up effectively. Seeing the wideness of Kagura's eyes, the man laughed again.

"How-how do you-"

"You're afraid. And now you respect me. That's more like it." The man walked closer to them, both hands hidden behind him, and instinctively all of them stepped back. "Why are you surprised that I know all of you? You figured out rather quickly that the Harusame was behind the incident at your school. It follows that I've done my due research before doing that easy little job back then." He smirked and looked at Nobume, a falsely apologetic look on his face. "I'm sorry. I know you did your best, Nobume-chan. But you could have put more backbone into protecting the precious Prime Minister's sister. That was your one and only job, wasn't it?"

Nobume growled and threw herself at the old man, but he effortlessly dodged. In the blink of an eye, he had already beaten up and thrown Nobume fifteen feet over the loft, and all they heard was the sound of her body crashing to the ground below.

"Nobume-chan!" cried Kagura. The boys looked at each other, and Takasugi nodded and went after where Nobume has fallen. The girl motioned to follow him until the old man tut-tut-tutted at her with one finger.

"Now now, Kagura-chan, don't go. Let Takasugi-kun handle it, that broken boy has no use for me. But you-you're the most important person in this room, and I can't just let you leave…" As he grinned at her, one hand was already reaching for her collar, but in the next second, Okita pulled her back and shielded her with his body. Hijikata stood next to him and added to the human shield.

"Okita-kun and Hijikata-kun. You best stay out of the way," said the old man. "Unless you want to be involved too."

"Just try and get yer grubby hands on her, you damn old geezer," Hijikata seethed.

The old man sighed exaggeratedly. "Look, you guys… you can struggle all you want, but it's way too late for the two of you, okay? If you stay quiet, I won't lay a finger on _her,_ and all of us can go home happy, right?"

"Like heck we'll believe you," said Okita, not backing down. That murderous glint in his eyes was no joke, and Okita knew there was no way that he won't try to maim any of them, little monster girls included. "We ain't backing down without a fight."

"If you say so… I must say, Okita-kun, it is indeed very bold of you to choose to help one of my kin in her misguided attempts to foil my plans… and leave one of your own so helpless and defenseless back in Tokyo."

Okita felt his heart stop.

"What… are you saying," he heard Hijikata choke beside him.

The man laughed obnoxiously again. "Ah, Hijikata-kun, I almost forgot… his precious _aneue_ is your one and only sweetheart, isn't she? Ah, young love… I have to say, my men and I are quite jealous of how endless Mitsuba-chan's affections are for both of you… I'm sure there's an endless supply of it for her to give to an old man like me, even inside a brothel, right?"

Within the next instant, all three of them descended upon the old man with their weapons, and in the next, all three of them were thrown away by the sheer force of his bare hands. Their bodies collided against the concrete and steel walls, leaving body-shaped dents as they fell. Again, they got up and leapt, almost simultaneously, and even though Okita knew that he was able to hit the man on the arm and at the back, all it took was one swing of the fist before the three of them found themselves on the floor again.

They did this a number of times, and each time Okita felt all the wind knocked out of his lungs. He knew that his body was physically reeling from pain and shock, but he couldn't feel anything but a cold, sick dread taking over his body. Next to him, Hijikata was struggling to stand up, a thin line of blood trailing from his mouth.

"Kids, that last hit kind of hurt. I don't have a lot of time to play around, though. I suggest you start taking me more seriously." The man indeed looked like he began to hurt in some places, but the wicked grin on his face told them that he was enjoying himself a little too much.

Kagura had a bit of strength in her, and she was able to leap up once more from the ground, but as she aimed one strong leg at the man's head, all he did was to step to the side neatly and to catch Kagura by the neck.

In horror, Okita watched as the strong, unruly China girl that he knew, choke and struggle weakly against the man's vice grip. "Now, this is interesting. I thought that Umibozu's seed would have a little more fight in her. Japan must have softened you, my dear."

Kagura choked out, "L-leave… onee-sama… alone…"

"Hmph. I could kill you right now, and you have the nerve to be worried about somebody else. Are you taking me seriously, Kagura-chan?"

He tightened his grip around her neck, and Kagura choked some more. Okita cursed his body for not moving, cursed his leg for having the nerve to be broken at a perfect 90-degree angle at this time-cursed his arm for not having the strength to hold onto his bat anymore-

"You're just like your father, aren't you? He never took me seriously, Kagura-chan. Did you know that he once left a duel with me to take a dump? Me, Housen, the King of the Night! I've never been more insulted in my life!"

"I… don't… care…" Kagura wheezed out.

"And it doesn't stop there, Kagura-chan! Your little family really, really, really despises me, doesn't it?!" The man called Housen tightened his grip more, and blood started to seep out of the corner of Kagura's mouth. "Your brother has the nerve to not die, just when I needed him to die! Did you know about that, Kagura-chan? He's supposed to be blown to smithereens now, along with that little Tokugawa Princess, but he isn't."

 _What… is he talking about?_ Okita struggled to stand up and to listen more closely, ignoring all the pain in his body.

Ever so slightly, he loosened the grip on Kagura's neck and looked straight into her face. "So… everyone in Harusame knows that he's obsessed with you, Kagura-chan. I'm sure he's been in touch with you. Won't you tell me where he went?"

The room fell silent. For a few silent moments, there was nothing but the sound of Kagura's ragged breathing, and of the gears in her head click-click-clicking in deep thought. A subtle shift in the aura, so subtle that Okita almost missed it, made her eyes widen in surprise.

And thus, after a few moments of thoughtful silence, Kagura spit in his face in response.

The bloody wad of spit decorated the geezer's ugly old man mug so gracefully that Okita would have applauded, were it not for the impending feeling of doom that followed them. "You cheeky little brat. You still don't understand who you're dealing with, aren't you?"

"I… know… exactly who… you are," breathed Kagura, struggling to keep her voice audible. "And… you don't scare me… because… my dad will protect me…"

"Umibozu? That old wandering fool?" scoffed Housen. "You must be deluded, thinking that that old coward is going to come for you in your time of need."

"No… not him."

Before Housen could open his mouth to retort, the door flew open with a loud _BANG!_ And before he could turn his head to even look at the source of the sound, a pair of black boots already found their way onto his old face.

Okita watched in awe as a familiar silver-permed sensei began to beat the shit out of the older man, who swiftly began to fight back as well. Kagura fell to the ground and crawled away from the brawl, gasping for air and coughing out blood. Instinctively, she grasped at her neck, where angry red streaks of the old man's handprints already began to show through her pale skin.

The way Ginpachi-sensei fought was nothing like how he attacked Kamui before. His red fish-eyes were dark and furious, and all limits seemed to be off. The way he handled a _bokuto_ was so skillful and fearsome that Okita was sure he was looking at an actual samurai. But even as his blows were forceful and quick, Housen was just as quick to block them, and it was hard to tell then who was winning or who was losing.

 _Just who are these people?!_ thought Okita. But he had other things to worry about.

"China... Kagura," called out Okita. He watched her get hurt again, and it really made him feel like shit, but this was no time to feel sorry for himself. Ginpachi-sensei was giving their all to cover their asses, and they needed to get out of there and get help. He tried to crawl to where she was, but before he could reach her, something from the shadows crawled out and grabbed her, and then Hijikata, and then himself.

Seeing them being whisked away, Ginpachi-sensei yelled out their names. Housen hit him in the face in response.

"As expected, Sakata-san. Indeed, you are the _Shiroyasha_ that everyone talked about way back when. Strong, but easily distracted by the very things he wants to protect," said Housen. He was breathing heavily, and the smirk was gone from his face. "Yet I didn't expect you to bring the cops along. What a shame."

As if on cue, Chief Isaburo appeared from the doorway. He carried the unconscious Nobume under one arm and had a gun pointed at Housen in the other. "Housen. You and this faction of the Harusame are surrounded. You are under arrest for a list of crimes too long and bothersome for me to say right now. Let the children go if you want to get out of here alive."

Housen laughed darkly. "You police really think you're all powerful, aren't you…?"

"I wouldn't underestimate these tax robbers, you old geezer," said Ginpachi-sensei. "Especially not this old geezer. He's a dad whose daughter you hurt. You know that no decent father won't hesitate to kill you for that."

Housen smirked, and raised both hands in the air.

In the next moment, however, he and the three shadows who apprehended the kids, jumped out the window, and onto a silent stealth helicopter waiting outside. A barrage of gunfire from the police force below barely missed them, the bullets harmlessly bouncing off the helicopter's hull.

A great noise and a large flash of light filled their senses, and there was a moment when there was nothing but stunned silence. The next thing Okita, Hijikata, and the screaming Kagura saw from the helicopter was the warehouse exploding and turning into a blazing inferno.

The jarring noise of the bombs grew softer as the distance between them and what was once the warehouse grew larger, leaving Okita to listen helplessly as Kagura cried for their teacher and her father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot believe I was able to continue this lol. I'm sorry for the long wait! I've began writing the next chapter as we speak. More drama to ensue. Will try to write more Okikagu into the next chapter. Til next time! :D


	16. Red Embers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get thrown in jail.

The helicopter ride was gravely silent, the tension within it so high that Hijikata felt that he would die.

Coming into this mission, everybody knew that it was going to be dangerous, but… did he really _almost die_ at the hands of a bunch of gangsters in some abandoned warehouse in the middle of the woods? Did he just really watch the kingpin of a large Triad _almost kill_ that little China brat right in front of his eyes? Did he really just watch Sakata-sensei morph into the Shiroyasha, and still lose?… Did he really just _die_ in that explosion?

_And Mitsuba…_

Hijikata felt his heart and stomach and lungs and guts crumple inside him. They were stupid. All of them were stupid to think that they were untouchable, that there was no _way_ that they could die from this stupid rescue mission. Instead of just the Prime Minister's little sister being missing, now the Mimawarigumi PD's got more stupid Gintama High kids to worry about.

He wanted to scream, wanted to beat someone up into a bloody pulp, wanted to put a katana in between that damn old geezer's eyes, wanted to make him suffer for a hundred years for even thinking about hurting her. But he was bound at all limbs, a gag shoved pretty deep in his mouth, with muscle-bound thugs flanking him at both sides.

Sougo and Kagura received the same treatment as he did. Both of them looked shell-shocked and sapped of the usual fire inside their eyes. Earlier, Kagura had enough anger to scream bloody murder and was able to kick two bodyguards into Never-Never Land. The remaining guards then gave her a vial of powerful sedative "enough to knock a _Yato_ out" to calm her down into the stupor she was in now.

Somehow, the thugs had also apprehended Takasugi moments before the three of them were taken. His supposed good eye was swollen shut by a good beating. Some blood oozed out of a cut from his cheek, but he was bound and gagged and no-one cared enough to stop the blood from flowing.

' _Yato_ '-Hijikata vaguely remembered Takasugi used that term earlier, but didn't have the time to ask what it meant. Whatever it meant, it looked like Kagura was a bigger deal than they thought. Heck, that powerful old geezer had to prepare for a Yato in advance.

More and more their little plan to rescue Tokugawa Soyo seemed doomed from the start. But now that he thought about it, that old man seemed to pay no importance to the Princess, and more importance to the China brat. _Are we missing something? What's this old man's game?_

The old man's voice cut through Hijikata's thoughts. "Make sure we get there before sunrise," Housen said to a woman seated at the front, who merely nodded. A merciless silence within the darkness of the hold followed. Somebody, say something. There was nothing to stop Hijikata-or any one of the captured there-from spiralling into despair.

It seemed like an eternity before the woman spoke up again: "We will be landing in five minutes. Where shall we take the prisoners?"

Housen hummed as if bored. Drumming his fingers across the armrest, he glared at the prisoners through the rear-view mirror. "Where, indeed. That little rabbit is more useless than I thought, so it really doesn't matter to me. I was thinking of sending their bodies to Russia or thereabouts."

The woman turned her head, and Hijikata saw her profile: dark hair that shone like lacquer, dark-green eyes, clear skin, a small, pretty face. She was probably a breathtaking beauty at all angles, and even the severe dark suit that she wore did not hinder it in any way. "It's not wise to do that right now. Kagura-sama and her allies are much too important for us to dispose at this time. We're under close scrutiny as it is."

"By the usual?"

"Yes. And the other pirate groups and Interpol as well."

"Do you hear that, Kagura-chan?… You are much too important. How daft." His cold glare shifted over to where Kagura lay motionless and stagnant. The old man clicked his tongue. "How bothersome. I'll leave their fates to you, Hinowa. Don't disappoint me."

"Understood."

The helicopter began its silent descent, and the thugs methodically tied very tight blindfolds over Hijikata's and everyone else's eyes. Almost immediately after landing, he felt a group of strong arms lift him, throw him on the hard concrete of an anonymous roof, and drag him down a set of stairs. He was handled so roughly that he prayed that he didn't break any bones from the number of times he was left to fall on his own, before being dragged forward again.

After what felt like years, Hijikata felt the floor change into something damp and made of cold stone. He caught a whiff of the air, which was stagnant and moldy. He heard the clink of cold metal opening - likely a lattice - and he was roughly shoved inside, his bruised and battered body landing with a cold thud.

He heard more distant metallic sounds, and the sound of what has to be bodies landing on the cold floor.

It was silent, save for the soft wheeze of someone a little far from him. He strained to hear the voice behind the wheeze, but before he could, a cold familiar voice broke the silence.

"Remove everything except the zipties around their wrists and ankles."

A woman's voice. Hijikata guessed that it was the woman from the helicopter.

"But Madame Hinowa, we don't have any cameras here. Without the ropes, how are we gonna make sure that they-"

"Did I stutter?" Even when he couldn't see her face, he could only imagine the frightening darkness her eyes must have had when she said it. Within seconds, he felt the thugs remove his blindfold, the sock in his mouth, and the ropes around the rest of his body.

It was so dark in the dungeon-a single incandescent lightbulb struggled to light up the area with its weak, sickening orange glow. He was sure now that they were in a dungeon, and it was difficult to make out details just when he got used to the dark. There were about ten of the Harusame thugs dressed in dark suits, leering at him from within his cage which they now slammed shut.

The woman was staring right at him as he looked at her, and it was only then that he realized that she was in a wheelchair. Even then there was no sign of weakness in her steely gaze. It was obvious that she was the most powerful person there was in that dungeon.

"Hijikata-kun," she began, without a trace of emotion in her voice. "You are easily the oldest and most responsible of the group, aren't you?"

Even if Hijikata had an answer to that strange sentence, he couldn't speak. His mouth was so dry, his entire body was in pain, he was beyond just craving for nicotine or mayonnaise. He coughed uselessly in response.

Stony-faced as ever, the woman continued without missing a beat. "Even if you weren't, there isn't anybody left in this dungeon for me to speak with, so I have no choice but to brief you. All your friends were unfortunately beaten unconscious in transit. Given the things that happened to all of you today, I can only imagine the suffering that you're going through right now. I deemed the gags and blindfolds unnecessary."

It seemed unfortunately true. Without the gags and blindfolds, he saw that across from him, Sougo and Kagura were unconscious. He saw a thug step away from the younger man, who had a worrying new trail of blood oozing from his forehead. The little China girl had bruises over her pale arms-the lack of movement from her body, save for a slow rise and fall of her chest, could only be telling of another dose of that Yato-subduing drug that Housen boasted of earlier.

As he stared at his friends from beyond his own cage, there it was. Hijikata strained his hearing. That familiar wheeze, very soft and very faint, coming from the cell next to him.

"And all this, because you got in the way of Housen's schemes. It's… unfortunate. Now, I would like you to assess the situation very well, Hijikata-kun." The woman commanded all of his attention to him. "I cannot tell you exactly where we are, but it is enough for you to know that this area is within protected land, with forest surrounding us all around. Housen made it quite… impossible for your group to escape this place. If you are caught trying to do something unnecessary, he could easily send all of you to Russia in any shape or form he wishes."

'Any shape or form' had more weight to it than 'dead or alive'. He gave in to the urge to swallow anxiously.

The woman blinked at him. It was very hard to see, but there was a slight difference in her gaze. Something soft, encouraging. It was there and gone the next moment.

But before he could figure out what it meant, the woman called Hinowa closed her eyes and turned away, her wheelchair whirring mechanically. "In the end, my message to you is, don't… don't do anything that will make me or my men to come down here to teach you a lesson. Excuse me, Hijikata-kun."

Moments later, the woman and her army of thugs exited the dungeon, with the _whoosh_ of an automatic door and lock sounding behind them.

Immediately, Hijikata trained his eyes to get used in the darkness. As promised, his arms were bound behind him, his ankles linked together by two or three zipties. The thug earlier muttered something about 'no cameras'-it might be true, but they could be trying to catch him off guard. The cell about five feet across from him where Sougo and Kagura lay unconscious looked about the same size as his, and had the same lattice door securing them in place.

What was that look that the woman gave him? Was she challenging him to escape this place? Hijikata cursed under his breath.

"Hijikata-kun."

He realized then that there wasn't a wall, but iron bars separating him from the cell next to him. The light of the single light bulb barely illuminated that particular area, but he immediately saw the shadow of the person calling out to him.

"Is that you, you bastard?"

Takasugi murmured-or wheezed-in the affirmative.

"I thought they knocked you unconscious too."

"I know how to play dead," Takasugi slurred to him. The one-eyed delinquent turned his head to the side, and Hijikata saw the shine of blood, sweat, and spit flowing from one corner of his mouth. "Listen. They beat me up badly, and I can't see anything, but I know there's someone else here with me. I think it might be someone you know."

Hijikata shimmied from his place at the center of his cell to the bars, struggling to sit up. The familiar wheeze reached his ears, and he recognized too late the struggle to form words with each laboured breath.

"Hhh… Tou… Tou… Shi…"

Even in the dark, it was unmistakable. She lay on the other side of the cell, too weak to move or to sit upright, weaker than he'd ever remembered her. Blood from her mouth stained the sides of her mouth and the front of her shirt. Unlike them, she had no bindings about her, but she was obviously incapable of escaping anyway. Her breathing was rapid and shallow, and each gasp was tighter than the last.

"Mitsuba!" he cried, his voice strangled and broken. Out of impulse he tried to stand up to reach her, but he fell with a useless thud on the ground.

"Mitsuba…" mumbled Takasugi. "So they weren't bluffing about her, after all."

Hearing her name spoken by _Takasugi,_ of all people, snapped him into a fit of rage. "You-you shut the fuck up! Why would they put her there with _you?!"_

He wanted to say a million other things-a million apologies to her, promises that she would be okay, just wait a minute, Toshirou is _right there, right next to her_ but he really wasn't, and he didn't know what to do, and he couldn't do anything-

_Back then, wasn't this just the same fucking thing?! Takasugi and Mitsuba in the same place, him sneering, her choking to death, Hijikata fucking helpless and useless and sorry-_

"Hijikata-kun, calm down," came the weak slur of Takasugi. If Hijikata could reach him, he would have strangled the blind man to death… that is, until he realized that the other was gesturing vaguely to him.

Takasugi breathed deeply. "In my pants pocket… I have an inhaler."

Hijikata's eyes widened. "Y… you're kidding."

It's impossible, right? Surely these thugs would be so thorough not to leave anything in their damned pockets that could help them. This fucker must be messing with him- _shit,_ they shouldn't have been quick to trust this turd, he had fucking links to the Harusame, for crying out loud, and look where they are now…

The delinquent breathed loudly again, a soft wheeze escaping his lips. "Hijikata-kun, you have no choice but to trust me. Okita-san needs you."

He glared at him. Shifting so that he could see him more clearly, he saw an irregular shape bulging from Takasugi's thigh. With his hands bound behind his back, it was obvious that the blinded man could not reach it in his present state.

"Why do you have an inhaler?"

"I have asthma too." Despite Hijikata's look of disbelief, the other renowned teenage chainsmoker didn't falter. "It's not much, but anything's better than leaving her alone. The air here will only make her attack worse."

"F-fuck-"

"We don't have time to argue, Hijikata-kun," he cut off. It was then that he noted that Takasugi was controlling his breaths-he might be having his own attack as well. "Listen-did they break your arms too? Can you break your ties?"

Good question. Looking at Takasugi's figure, he saw the unnatural sloping of one shoulder-the right one was most likely dislocated. As for Hijikata, all of his body was screaming in pain. But when he moved his bound wrists against his arms, none of them felt broken.

It was only then that he remembered. When they were captured, he had the presence of mind to clench his fists side-by-side when he was being tied down earlier. It was useless to try to escape earlier since they were bound with rope, but now that the ropes were out…

Grunting, he pulled his wrists together. The zip tie cut through his flesh painfully. He grit his teeth, biting down hard until he swore the inside of his cheeks were bleeding. But inch by agonizing inch, he was able to slip one thumb, then the other out of the zip tie.

His hands free, he immediately shifted over to where Takasugi leaned. He cursed under his breath as he fumbled with the other guy's zip tie with shaky, tingling fingers. By some miracle, moments later, he was able to break it with his fingers.

Takasugi sighed with some relief after being freed from the ties. Grunting with pain, he reached into his pocket for the inhaler. Hijikata had half-expected him to use the inhaler on himself first, but surprisingly, he didn't. His legs still bound, he launched himself forward, shimmying like a snake towards where Mitsuba lay wheezing.

"Mitsuba! Hold on!" cried Hijikata, as he watched the other fumble in the dark. He barely heard Takasugi mumbling very soft instructions to her as he struggled to remain upright to hold the puffer to her mouth.

Later on, a much louder cough escaped her mouth. As her airways opened, she gulped for air hungrily. The rise and fall of her chest assured him that she was able to breathe in more freely than earlier.

"Toshirou… I'm here," she said, her weakened voice just above a whisper. The worrisome wheezing noise from her breath disappeared.

 _She's alive. Mitsuba is alive._ Exhaling loudly in relief, Hijikata felt himself collapse briefly to the floor. He was now aware of the sobs escaping from his throat. Fuck, wasn't it embarrassing to just break down in tears like this in front of his mortal enemy?

He struggled to remain upright. Takasugi was exhausted too, likely from being beaten up more thoroughly than the rest of them, and had collapsed on the floor next to Mitsuba.

Taking deep breaths, the sandy-haired woman took two frail arms and supported herself to look at Hijikata in the eye.

"I can't believe you're here too… Oh my god, Toshirou, I'm so sorry that I let them capture me…" Her tears fell down her face and onto her hands. "They… they just stormed in the office and took me… our boss Kuraba-san just gave me to them, as if he knew what was going to happen… it was so fast and I was too weak to do anything…"

 _No, Mitsuba, it's our fault… if we weren't so careless and stupid…_ Hijikata thought, but he was unable to make a sound.

"... they told me that I should work hard, starting tomorrow, so I could 'help my friends', they said… well, that was before… they found out I was sick…"

Hijikata remembered Housen's words. They might have decided that she was damaged goods, not worth selling to the old men like that old lecher who had her kidnapped. Rage began to well up within him.

She crawled to where Hijikata gripped the bars of the cell. Her cold hands touched his, affirming her existence, her survival. The rage screeched to a halt within him, only leaving him with shame and despair, flooding his senses over and over.

"It's… it's our fault-"

"It's not your fault," she cut in sharply. Her tears fell as she looked at the other side of the dungeon, where Sougo breathed quietly next to an equally unconscious Kagura, his eyes shut. She bit her lip, struggling not to cry out. Even then, she repeated under her breath, "it's not our fault…"

"Mitsuba…"

She shook her head. Her voice was weak, but she lowered her voice even more, so that she was practically mumbling to him through the bars. "Listen, Toshirou. I don't know the whole story, but from what I heard, they had planned it from the start. It didn't matter what we did or didn't do. Something's going to happen soon. I don't know when or how, but the two of us need to protect Sou-chan and Kagura-chan, whatever happens, okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"... I heard them talking among themselves. They… they gave her something… something to 'bring her back to the way she used to be,'" She was frightened-her trembling hands over his revealed as much- but her red eyes practically glowed in the dark with fierce determination. He waited for her patiently as she controlled her breaths in measured, even paces.

He ground his teeth once more in frustration. "Back to being a 'Yato', you mean?"

Mitsuba nodded grimly. "I don't know what it is, but they were talking about her as if she were a __monster.__ " She sighed, shaking her head once more. "Whatever a Yato is, Kagura-chan couldn't be-"

"She _could."_

They both glanced at Takasugi, who was breathing more evenly than he was earlier. Somehow the bastard managed to get himself upright. Hijikata clicked his tongue in irritation at his interruption. "What the hell do _you_ know, you bastard?"

In spite of the gruesome situation, the delinquent on the floor had the nerve to chuckle. "You haven't seen a Yato clansman fight for real yet, have you, Hijikata-kun? It's not a pretty sight."

"A clan?" Mitsuba tilted her head in curiosity. "So is it Kagura-chan's original family?"

"You got it, Okita-san." It was annoying how he could grin about it, as if it were exciting to him. "I had the pleasure of seeing her older brother wreak havoc before. He and the little Red Girl are the offspring of the strongest Yato of them all. Do you remember the way she fought during our little raid, Hijikata-kun?"

Hijikata swallowed hard. Of course he remembered. It made him _sick_ to remember it.

The moment they entered the warehouse, Kagura was flying up in the air, her little parasol blooming and shielding her from a rain of bullets. While the rest of 3-Z freaked out from all the guns, she faced about fifty goons head-on, as if this was something she dealt with on a normal working day.

It was… _merciless,_ how she fought. She struck hard blows to their heads with murderous intent glowing in her blue eyes. She took their knives and stabbed the thugs without a hint of hesitation. She forged on ahead with the sprays of blood and gore not fazing her. Her little parasol shot goddamn _bullets_ out of one end. When they interrogated that guy back then, she looked ready to _kill_ the guy on the spot. Hijikata tried to pull her off the guy before she could commit actual murder, and in response she kicked him in the damn gut.

"So you remember. That isn't even half of what she could do," Takasugi said, in a morbidly fascinated way. "When she told you guys that the Harusame used her as a killing machine, she meant that literally."

Mitsuba was staring now at Hijikata, taking in the fear and uneasiness painting his face. "No… no way…" she whispered. As if her pale face couldn't be any paler. "Kagura-chan… Kagura-chan wouldn't…"

Her hand gripped Hijikata's a little tighter. Something sounded from the cell across from theirs, and they both sat up in attention.

In the darkness, Kagura began to stir.

* * *

Shinpachi couldn't believe his eyes as he watched the smoke rise from what was formerly the site of the Harusame's Eight Division hideout.

"Was that-" he heard somebody stammer beside him. His eardrums were probably destroyed in the explosion, even though he barely remembered it happening. It was merely a surge of heat and energy, and then a blast of light, and then the warehouse just… disappeared…

"Kagura-chan?…" Wait… Kagura-chan was there… she was shooting people and-

"Gin-san… did you guys see Gin-san…? Did he… I could have _sworn_ -" The one who spoke was probably Sacchan-san. Her dark brown eyes behind her red-framed glasses were wide and glassy as they stared in the direction of smoke.

"No… it couldn't be him…"

Of course it couldn't be Ginpachi-sensei. Kagura-chan told them that he had a meeting in the school the entire day. He wouldn't have known that they went into this vigilante mission to save Soyo-chan. He wouldn't have known where to find them. He wouldn't have had the time to chase them down in the middle of the woods to fight those Harusame thugs. He wouldn't-

He wouldn't have been there in the… explosion…

With Kagura-chan… with Nobume-san… with-

"Sougo-Toshi-"

Somebody fell beside him. "Kondo-san…"

With a muted __thud,__ the naked Kondo-san fell to his knees. Dumbly he stared at the smoke and fires rising from the ruins of the warehouse. Beside him, Yamazaki-san and Saitou-san had the same glassy, shell-shocked stares, even as they covered their commander's body with their track suit jackets.

What was happening?! Why was this happening? It was supposed to be a smooth operation-nobody was hurt at all-Hijikata-san already said it was safe for them to run away and that they would follow, but…

"Shinsuke-sama is still there!" Without an ounce of hesitation, a hot pink blur with blonde pigtails rushed in front of them to the direction of the destroyed warehouse.

"Arf!" agreed Sadaharu, bolting ahead of everybody else. His little doggy eyebrows were scrunched together in worry as he ran like a bull to the disaster area. It was all it took before Shinpachi snapped out of his trance and ran after the two of them.

It's always a bad idea to run where there's fire, but Shinpachi couldn't stop his feet from moving. It didn't matter that all his muscles were aching, and his lungs felt like exploding, and his glasses felt like melting over his face. Kagura-chan and Nobume-san and Okita-san and Hijikata-san and even Takasugi-san's faces flashed before his eyes.

 _Someone has to help.._ Gin-san would have ran there to help everyone. Gin-san would have saved everyone.

And wasn't it just the night before that Gin-san asked him to look after Kagura-chan? Because among all the guys at school, he was the only one that he could entrust her to? He swallowed down all his guilt. It was enough to keep Shinpachi moving.

The heat became more unbearable as he moved closer and closer to the warehouse. Bright red embers and ash rose into the late afternoon sky. He heard the crashing noises of rock and steel and bundles of ash as the foundations became more unstable. Panic rose from within his heart as the prospect of his classmates being crushed to oblivion became realer and realer.

"Kagura-chan! Nobume-san! Okita-san! Hiji-" he screamed as he was ready to jump across two fallen beams, but was cut off when something yanked him on the collar roughly.

"Oi, kid, the hell are ya doin' out here?" somebody drawled behind him.

 _Shit… was this a Harusame thug? Did they come back for revenge?_ The arm holding onto his collar was strong and sturdy and easily lifted him about a foot off the ground. He squirmed under the iron-clad grip, kicking and swinging his arms uselessly as he did. "Let me go-my friends are-" Belatedly, he noticed how damp and choked his voice was, and how tears and snot were already dribbling down his face.

"You idiot. You'll die if you go there. What the hell has your homeroom teacher been teachin' ya, huh? Has he been reading JUMP to you guys all this time? Is that why you're doing stupid _shonen_ shit like running into a burning building? The hell."

Now only recognizing the eerily familiar voice speaking to him, Shinpachi felt himself stunned into silence. He allowed himself to be tossed away from the explosion site. The feel of the hard ground and the crunch of his glasses snapped him back to his senses and forced him to look at his assailant.

It took a while for Shinpachi's brain to register the presence of their usually taciturn Japanese literature teacher near the explosion site. Yet, his glasses weren't damaged enough that he couldn't see the shaggy brown hair, the ugly goatee, the crumpled white lab coat, and the air of laziness that can only be rivaled by their own homeroom teacher.

"... Hattori… sensei…?"

Sacchan-san, breathless from running, was the one who said this. Otae was jogging behind her, but ran forward when she saw Shinpachi sprawled out on the floor.

"Shin-chan! What were you going to do?!" A new lump formed in his throat as his beloved _aneue_ slapped him in the face before embracing him close to her. He felt her thin frame shake as she cried, "Don't just-don't just run off and leave me like that!"

He couldn't say anything to that. Couldn't even mumble an apology. The gravity of their helplessness dawned on him anew as he listened to his sister control her sobs. In front of them, Hattori-sensei had his arms crossed, a glare apparent under his messy hair as he looked at Sacchan-san.

"I don't even know what to say to you brats. Especially you, Sarutobi," he said sharply, to which Sacchan only looked at the floor fiercely. "I didn't give you personal lessons in Rhythmic Gymnastics so you could pull stupid dangerous stunts like this."

"But sensei-"

"You were supposed to be more responsible than that," interrupted Hattori, making his lavender-haired student bite her lower lip. He grumbled in frustration before continuing, "I should really expel you guys on the spot, right now. But I need to send you home to your families first-"

"But sensei, we have to save Kagura-chan and-"

"But what about Gin-sensei-"

"Stop talking!" In the blink of an eye, the grumpy teacher threw something sharp and shiny that landed in between Shinpachi's legs, making him shut up immediately. It seemed that he had attempted something similar to Sacchan-san, but she was quick enough to retaliate so that her foot somehow made its way up his rectum.

Shinpachi shrieked as a spray of ass blood littered his field of vision. Hattori-sensei fell to his knees, ass to the sky, his face contorted in a familiarly painful expression as if this was an unfortunate common daily occurrence.

Without an ounce of remorse in her eyes, Sacchan-san yelled back, "How could you talk about sending us home as if nothing happened! We… we came here with everybody, and now that Kagura-chan and those sadists and that mayo freak and that one-eyed yankee are missing, you're just asking us to abandon them?!" She wiped her eyes furiously against the back of one hand, ignoring the groans of pain of her mentor. "And… I saw _him,_ I saw Gin-san enter the warehouse, right before it exploded!"

"Sacchan," Otae called out softly from next to Shinpachi.

"You can't just… can't just ask me to go home…" she finished weakly, falling to her knees. "N-not without Gin-san…"

Hattori-sensei, in spite of all his obvious rectal pain, appeared to be listening to his student's cries. He sighed a long-suffering sigh before willing himself to stand up, blood and all. "Sarutobi-san, stand up," he said, offering one hand to her. "You too, Shimura-san and Shimura Glasses."

"Oi, who's Shimura Glasses," mumbled Shinpachi, but he complied anyway. The teacher scratched the back of his head and mumbled something incoherent under his breath. After a brief moment of making up his mind, he gestured for the three of them to follow him back to the woods.

"You damn kids are making me form brand new hemorrhoids up my ass. And I ain't even your damn homeroom teacher," he grumbled as he led them to a clearing. "Makes me wonder how that damn perm hasn't spontaneously combusted from taking care of you guys and bequeathed all his JUMP comics to me. Anyway, Sarutobi-san, if that guy could survive facing a class of hooligans like you five days a week, you think a small thing like an explosion might kill him?"

As they went closer and closer to the clearing, Shinpachi was able to make out a lot of figures moving about from a distance. Somehow, the remaining members of the Shinsengumi were there, still consoling Kondo-san, who was wearing a new pair of (stained…?) tighty-whities. Kyuubei-san, Katsura-san, and Elizabeth seemed to be speaking to Takechi-san and Kawakami-san.

Somebody was consoling Kijima-san, who was weeping loudly and crying out Takasugi-san's name dramatically. As they got closer, Shinpachi heard her cries clearer, "H-he was just th-there, Tsukki-sensei, I asked Shinsuke-sama to go away with us, but he wouldn't _listen-_ "

It figures that someone like Kijima-san would call her own homeroom teacher a nickname, but that wasn't the main issue here. _What's Tsukuyo-sensei doing here?_ thought Shinpachi, casting a questioning glance at Hattori-sensei. As if reading his mind, the sullen teacher quipped, "You're gonna have more questions anyway, so save 'em for later, Glasses."

They finally made it to the clearing, and it was there where Shinpachi saw two things that made him simultaneously feel his jaw drop and glasses crack and knees collapse to the ground.

First, Nobume-san was _safe._ She had cuts and bruises over all the exposed parts of her skin, and her nose was bleeding, and her eyes looked like she'd been through hell, but she was _safe._ A white-haired man in a pure-white uniform was next to her, a broken flip-phone on one hand and the other holding her close. Shinpachi barely remembered Nobume-san being cared for by the chief of police, and he surmised that that must be him, but he barely paid him any attention.

Second was the sight of Sadaharu restlessly tromping around, his tail wagging in joy as he alternately pawed and licked the face of an obviously shaken, but already disgruntled old-smelling man with familiar dead fish eyes. His perm was partially singed, but mostly intact. His clothes were also partially burnt, his pure-white coat now polluted with ashes.

"Gin… san…"

He didn't know how he got there, or how his sister and Sacchan-san ended up tumbling next to him, but the next moment they were all holding on to their teacher with tears and snot running down their faces.

"You're alive, Gin-san, you're alive!"

"Oi, you brats are getting your boogers on my coat," Ginpachi-sensei chided gently. Despite that, Shinpachi felt their teacher holding the three of them closer as they shook collectively in relief. He turned slightly to Sacchan, who clung to his shirt until a tearing noise was heard. "Stop that, you miserable M, enough with the tears."

"Uuuh! I thought you d-died, Sensei! Nobody's gonna t-torture me anymore if you d-die!"

"Oi, who's torturing who? You know what, get out of the cuddle pile," grumbled Ginpachi-sensei. He pushed her face away as per usual, making her crash loudly on a convenient pile of rocks close by. "Seriously though, if you tear my clothes, all this guy over here is gonna give me is his suspicious smelling tighty-whities. Can you please spare me the misery…"

"This guy?" asked Shinpachi and Otae simultaneously, because it was a strange sentence and a strange day altogether.

The silver permed teacher sighed in an odd mixture of shyness and cringe and meekness and jerked his thumb backwards.

And that was probably a third thing that made Shinpachi's jaw drop and glasses break, etcetera, etcetera, because the man who gazed back at them was the last person on God's green earth that should be in that forest next to the burning warehouse of a well-known criminal organization.

He stood next to Hattori-sensei calmly, despite the chaos of the background. His trademark _chonmage,_ polished and bright, seemed to be enclosed with a halo of the sun. His sharp, dark eyes, springing forth from a dignified countenance, seemed to look at the group with kindness and empathy.

That profile that Shinpachi saw every morning in the newspaper could only be-

"The… Sho… SHOGUNNNNNN?!"

Shinpachi's trademark shriek echoed through the woods, making a mass of birds flutter out of their nests as the camera panned to the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn this chapter is longer than I'd like it to be. Writing as Hijikata is more challenging as I thought, especially in his high school self where he's so weak and smol and doesn't have a sword T_T It's also pretty hard to write so many scenes with so many characters but that's how Gintama is, isn't it T_T'  
> As always, thank you for being so patient with me. The most difficult parts now are arranging the scenes and writing out just what the hell Housen has planned for our poor kids T_T  
> Please let me know your thoughts about this so far. If you have any complaints or critiques to help me improve my writing. Or if you think that the characterizations are off. Thank you as always for commenting and/or quietly reading the story!


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